I did something I'm ashamed of - Mothering Forums

 
Thread Tools
#1 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
Heffernhyphen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 1,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had planned a dinner party for a couple who is leaving the state for the summer. We had the menu all planned: they'd bring the meat; we'd do everything else.

Then, the morning of the party, I went garage saling with another friend and decided to invite her to join us. BUT . . . my freaking cheap brain could not figure out how to just invite her (and her family of four) to dinner. All I could think was: how do I add four people and ask this other couple to bring twice as much meat? So I pretty much said, "We're having dinner at six; would you like to come at seven for dessert?" Eat first at your own house while we have a nice dinner, THEN you can join us.

What a schmuck. I'm so embarrassed now that I realize what a shitty invitation that was. : Should I just let it lie, or should I bring it up and say how embarrassed and sorry I am?
Heffernhyphen is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 10:01 PM
 
fek&fuzz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: down in the hunker
Posts: 8,678
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd explain the situation. Maybe she will offer to bring more dinner.
fek&fuzz is offline  
#3 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 10:04 PM
 
AutumnMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Northwest US
Posts: 4,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
:

And don't feel too bad, I've said stuff like that on more than one occasion!
AutumnMama is offline  
 
#4 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 10:04 PM
 
Peppermint Leaf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Nothing to see here -- move along!
Posts: 2,315
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
I'd explain the situation. Maybe she will offer to bring more dinner.
____________

yup thats what I would do
Peppermint Leaf is offline  
#5 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 10:35 PM
 
henhao's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In my Imagination
Posts: 2,402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
I'd explain the situation. Maybe she will offer to bring more dinner.
I think you can fix this by doing the above. If it were me, I'd say I was torn because I really wanted her and her family to come yet felt uncomfortable asking the other family to bring more meat and then say I'm sorry.
henhao is offline  
#6 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 10:38 PM
 
superstella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Somewhere untangling my mind
Posts: 4,153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by henhao View Post
I think you can fix this by doing the above. If it were me, I'd say I was torn because I really wanted her and her family to come yet felt uncomfortable asking the other family to bring more meat and then say I'm sorry.
:
superstella is offline  
#7 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 11:23 PM
 
mommaof5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I may be crazy but I don't think it is a big deal. Your friend understands that the other family was already invited and the meal was planned. Once you have kids and have multiple mouths to feed the invitations you receive are different then when you were single. If this is a good friend she had to think nothing of it.

LDS, natural birthing,, , mom to 6 super fun crazy kids!
mommaof5 is offline  
#8 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 11:29 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,705
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
I actually think that was a great idea- a way to invite them to join you without completely blowing the budget or reaconfiguring the menu at the last minute.

Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
Ruthla is offline  
#9 of 23 Old 06-02-2008, 11:57 PM
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,761
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I think it's ok to invite just for dessert.

Just make sure you are finished up with dinner before they come over.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
#10 of 23 Old 06-03-2008, 12:28 AM
 
HappyHelpmate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our friends and family invite us over just for dessert all the time! Don't worry about it! I agree with pp that your friend knows it's hard to just invite that many more folks for supper last-minute- she probably is just glad to at least come for dessert!

Sarah , Wife to DH , Mommy to DS 01/07 , DD 04/09 , and Due 04/11
HappyHelpmate is offline  
#11 of 23 Old 06-03-2008, 12:35 AM
 
matey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Greene House gone English Brown
Posts: 2,909
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it is ok too. It would have been much more awkward to ask someone to bring more meat or to not have enough food.
matey is offline  
#12 of 23 Old 06-03-2008, 01:11 AM
 
gottaknit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,776
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Another vote for "not a big deal". I see nothing wrong with inviting or being invited for dessert only.
gottaknit is offline  
#13 of 23 Old 06-03-2008, 08:27 AM
 
Knittin' in the Shade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: near Philly, PA
Posts: 4,541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yeah, I think it's totally okay to do just the dessert thing. Of course, I've got 4 boys, so I'm quite used to my family of 6 (big mouths!) only being invited for dessert, LOL!
Knittin' in the Shade is offline  
#14 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 08:17 AM
 
dolphinkisser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: in the dirt
Posts: 455
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think you did anything so horrible..but if you feel like a shmuck the one way to lift that is to get it out in the open and tell your friend how you feel. There have been times that i have done things that for some reason or other , i felt embarassed about but then going to my friends and admitting it, was such a load off of my head. Your friends will no doubt understand and you can move on from that annoying nagging feeling.
dolphinkisser is offline  
#15 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 08:49 AM
 
chirp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Southern New Jersey
Posts: 1,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
also agree that its not a big deal.

i would not have been offended by an offer for dessert. i would have been happy that you thought of it, rather than just leaving me out altogether!

living light husband wife loving life two sons to birth for our light loving earth. :
chirp is offline  
#16 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 08:52 AM
 
Irishmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the bat cave with heartmama
Posts: 45,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So invite the dessert only people to dinner another time.
Irishmommy is offline  
#17 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
Heffernhyphen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 1,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, y'all. I feel so close to you all now I'd like to invite you over some time. We should be done eating around 7, see you then.
Heffernhyphen is offline  
#18 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 02:34 PM
Banned
 
llamalluv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southwest Chicago suburbs
Posts: 2,550
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: I've received a lot of dessert invitations. I don't think it's a problem at all. It was last minute.
llamalluv is offline  
#19 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 02:52 PM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I wouldn't have been at all offended if I were your friend. I don't think it's weird to invite someone just for dessert, especially last minute like that.
wednesday is offline  
#20 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 07:43 PM
 
Christine&men's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lonely, Anywhere, US
Posts: 473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Would somebody please invite me for deserts? No biggie, but then again, I am married to a French man... Here it goes: on my wedding (well, our wedding) there were three classes of invitation.

1. Invited to everything: church, toast (champagne, wine, little bites to eat), dinner and dance.

2. Invited to church, toast and dance (no dinner).

3. Invited to church and toast (no dinner or dance).

And it works! People over there are used to it and thinks it strange. I come to accept this as actually a nice concept. And despite all the booze and food it was way cheaper than an American wedding (back in 2001 when the currency exchange was better...).

But honestly, I don't think it was a biggie....
Christine&men is offline  
#21 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 09:15 PM
 
Sprungthe2.50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 632
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


In all honesty, she probably didn't even notice it that way, just figuring it was a private dinner, and happy to be invited after anyway?

Did you get the feeling she was offended?
Sprungthe2.50 is offline  
#22 of 23 Old 06-04-2008, 09:50 PM
 
spiderdust's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 1,624
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 25 Post(s)


I think you did just fine... I mean, you found a way to work them into your plans. And they get DESSERT! :


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mama to Munchkin 
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Chickadee
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, co-parent to 3 additional children... plus one on the way.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
spiderdust is offline  
#23 of 23 Old 06-05-2008, 03:06 PM
 
GenB's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 233
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaof5 View Post
I may be crazy but I don't think it is a big deal. Your friend understands that the other family was already invited and the meal was planned. Once you have kids and have multiple mouths to feed the invitations you receive are different then when you were single. If this is a good friend she had to think nothing of it.
If the garage saling friend is a good friend, she'll understand. You may want to offer a bit of explanation if you feel compelled, but I agree. I don't see anything wrong with your invitation. Multiple mouths to feed do alter the situation somewhat and I don't think there are too many good friends that will find that strange at all. I'm sitting here putting myself in that situation with my bf and neither of us would have a problem at all.
GenB is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 15,253

33 members and 15,220 guests
Chelsea59 , Childrenareawesome , debigebi , Deborah , Dovenoir , girlspn , greenemami , hillymum , JElaineB , Jessica765 , joandsarah77 , katelove , Katherine73 , lhargrave89 , lisak1234 , manyhatsmom , Michele123 , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , NaturallyKait , pgu2017 , pokeyac , RollerCoasterMama , Skippy918 , Springshowers , transylvania_mom , zebra15
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.