I was visiting my parents and... - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 02:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my whole family was around the table talking about the economy and how times have changed over the course of our lives. My dad says: "I don't know anyone who can make it with only one spouse working. You just can't do that anymore." This gave me great pleasure to point out that DH and I have been doing it for two years (our whole marriage). It was really funny to me because I don't think people look at us and think that we make sacrifices for that. We have a nice home, but it's sensibly sized and in an inexpensive location. We drive nice cars, but they're purchased used. We look fashionable, but don't buy name brand clothes. Our son dresses the best of all of us and his clothes are all hand-me downs and yard sale finds. We use cloth diapers, but the average person couldn't tell. We eat out every week, but the rest of the time I cook from scratch and hunt for food bargains. We keep our processed food to a min, which keeps our food bill at a min. We take vacations, but we stay at Christian retreats instead of hotels. There we also cook our own meals, and then we can afford to do more things while we're there.
It really gave me a proud feeling to know that we don't stand out as disadvantaged to others. I like knowing that we fit right in as we all sit around the table and talk. When I meet people who say "you're so lucky that you get to stay home!" They never know until I tell them, and I always tell them they can do it too.
Just this past week DH said to me "I don't know how people can't live with only one income. I can't imagine having an extra $30,000 a year!" Of course everone has a very unique situation and I'm sure there are many many people who just have not had the life we have had (and who knows it may not always be this way), but I was also glad that he didn't feel deprived of anything.
Just thought I'd share these warm feelings. Has anyone had similar experiences?
GoddessKristie is offline  
#2 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 02:17 AM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,858
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Perhaps you'd be more at home posting this in the SAHM forum.

Some of us in Frugality are...........gasp.....................WOHMs. (I know. Scary, huh.)

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#3 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 02:27 AM
 
Mama2Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: It is a mystery.
Posts: 2,369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's great that you have found ways to make one income work for you. We are trying to do the same but it is really hard sometimes. For some families, especially those with unavoidable debt or who live in expensive areas, it just isn't possible.

Homeschooling, etsy-crafting Mama to spunky DD (12-04) and wife to DH.
 
Mama2Bug is offline  
#4 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 02:37 AM
 
hellyaellen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: georgia
Posts: 3,410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm a wohm and i thought this was a great post. it didn't seem snarky or anything to me.

of course i have an sahd. and we get a pretty good bit of assistance from the gov't too.

but i often have the same thoughts as the op's dh.

point though is its nice to know we don't necessarily "look" disadvantaged b/c of our frugal choices. and i like hearing the how and why of frugality in all kinds of situations.
hellyaellen is offline  
#5 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 02:50 AM
 
Fujiko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with the OP's husband's remark about how some people claim that they can't be a one-income household, when in reality they just don't want to let go of the lifestyle.

I'm not saying that this is true for all situations, but some.

Wife to dh and mommy to dd1 (3/07), ds (1/10), and dd2 (any day now)!

Fujiko is offline  
#6 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 04:24 AM
WNB
 
WNB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Perhaps you'd be more at home posting this in the SAHM forum.

Some of us in Frugality are...........gasp.....................WOHMs. (I know. Scary, huh.)
could you explain why you think her post is inappropiate here? the op obviously felt just fine posting it here -- otherwise, she'd not have pressed the "submit" button. Seems to me she's talking about the frugal choices she and her family make, and how that makes it possible for them to make it on one income.
WNB is offline  
#7 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 05:38 AM
 
SAHDS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: surrounded by the Joneses
Posts: 3,467
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Does your dad not know you SAH? That part confused me.

Also, I'm a SAHM and I'm active in the F & F. Nothing wrong with being careful with your money and mindful of your spending. It's a big reason some of us can SAH.

Sgt. Renninger, Ofc. Owens, Ofc. Griswold, Ofc. Richards, Deputy Mundell
Gone but not fogotten.
SAHDS is offline  
#8 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm glad most of you haven't found my post snarky, I didn't mean for it to be snarky or self-riteous at all. I was, in fact just sharing and did conciously choose this board over the SAHM board because this is about the money aspect, not the parenting aspect.
For those of you who are WAHMs I think that's great! And being at home is certainly not for everyone. If it were we would never have had the womens liberation movement! The choice you make for your family is the best one.
That being said, I know that SAHMing is something many women hope and wish for, so I just wanted to share our financial aspect and what works for us.
My Dad does in fact know that I don't work, that was the funny part. Even knowing that, when he thinks about what it must be like to have only one income he certainly is not picturing us!
GoddessKristie is offline  
#9 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 11:11 AM
 
_betsy_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,687
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm glad you['ve found a way to do it. Unfortunately, it's NOT POSSIBLE for my family, and I do feel a bit ticked at that comment.

DH is self emoplyed small business owner. He makes decent money, bbut he works long, hard hours for it and we never know how much he's going to make from one week to the next, one month to the next, etc. Also, medical coverage out of pocket is insane, and we live in one of the most expensive counties in the country.

So, yeah, I'd like to SAH, but it's NOT possible. I work for steady income, a roof over our heads, and medical coverage.

And, no we can't "just move."
_betsy_ is offline  
#10 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 11:35 AM
 
SeekingJoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,553
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have friends who constantly comment about how cool it is that we have been able to make the career decisions we have. Nevermind that they make more money than we do. Over the years, they have also made different choice (for good or bad). I have worked PT, FT, gone to school for a couple of years and SAH. DH has done similar things, although not to the extent I have. Living frugally can give a family so many options.

OP, I appreciate your point about misconceptions about what a frugal family would look like.

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
SeekingJoy is offline  
#11 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 11:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
I'm glad you['ve found a way to do it. Unfortunately, it's NOT POSSIBLE for my family, and I do feel a bit ticked at that comment.

And, no we can't "just move."
Did you read my entire post? I addressed this and in no way am I saying that all people can or should be able to do this. I'm just sharing our situation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoddessKristie View Post
Of course everone has a very unique situation and I'm sure there are many many people who just have not had the life we have had (and who knows it may not always be this way), but I was also glad that he didn't feel deprived of anything.
GoddessKristie is offline  
#12 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 11:51 AM
 
angelcollector1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's great that you're able to be a SAHM and wish others had that good fortune. When my children was growing up I always worked, just as much to save my sanity as to earn $ to put food on the table and a roof over our heads.

I will say that if someone is a SAH parent, whether it be mom or dad and they take advantage of public assistance then they aren't making it without help and although they are comfortable doing so, it's not quite the same as someone doing it without assistance. I could have chosen to stay home and received housing and food assistance if I wanted to, but I believed in the fact that I could work and not have to accept a handout and it taught my children that you can't always get what you want handed to you, but that you have to work for it.

I'm not saying that's the situation with the OP, as you didn't mention that you rec'd any assistance, but a PP did in fact mention that they are a SAH and receive help, to me that's not someone who is able to support their family on one income. JMHO.

I have a daughter who is pregnant and will be a single mom, she knows that she was brought up to not accept a handout and that she has to work to support herself and the baby she's due to have next month, and if then she can't make ends meet, she will have no choice, but otherwise she won't apply for assistance, she wasn't raised to take from the government with food stamps, housing subsidies, etc when she can work and earn $ to support herself and soon to be baby.
angelcollector1 is offline  
#13 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:02 PM
 
Alyantavid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
I'm glad you['ve found a way to do it. Unfortunately, it's NOT POSSIBLE for my family, and I do feel a bit ticked at that comment.

DH is self emoplyed small business owner. He makes decent money, bbut he works long, hard hours for it and we never know how much he's going to make from one week to the next, one month to the next, etc. Also, medical coverage out of pocket is insane, and we live in one of the most expensive counties in the country.

So, yeah, I'd like to SAH, but it's NOT possible. I work for steady income, a roof over our heads, and medical coverage.

And, no we can't "just move."
:
Alyantavid is offline  
#14 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:08 PM
 
Purple*Lotus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Fluffyville
Posts: 5,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish I could live your lifestyle, but I have a lot of medical debt which makes it impossible for me to stay home. Some people don't have a choice and have to work. I don't think it reflects on my lifestyle, just bad luck medically.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
Purple*Lotus is offline  
#15 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We do not recieve any government assistance. When we were first married we were without medical insurance and I got pregnant right away. At that point we took medicaid, but only used it until we had insurance.
My husband also works at an entry level position. He does have a degree, which increases his pay by a few thousand dollars, but we are by no means "well-off".
I also wanted to say that we moved out of the 5th most wealthy (read: expensive) county in the nation to the next county over to afford our home. We ended up only 15 minutes from where DH was born and raised and we still feel just as close to family here as before. Because of this move DH drives an extra 20 miles to work every day. We are fighting to get him telecommuting, but he wont be able to until September.
GoddessKristie is offline  
#16 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:14 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OT

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelcollector1 View Post
I think it's great that you're able to be a SAHM and wish others had that good fortune. When my children was growing up I always worked, just as much to save my sanity as to earn $ to put food on the table and a roof over our heads.

I will say that if someone is a SAH parent, whether it be mom or dad and they take advantage of public assistance then they aren't making it without help and although they are comfortable doing so, it's not quite the same as someone doing it without assistance. I could have chosen to stay home and received housing and food assistance if I wanted to, but I believed in the fact that I could work and not have to accept a handout and it taught my children that you can't always get what you want handed to you, but that you have to work for it.

I'm not saying that's the situation with the OP, as you didn't mention that you rec'd any assistance, but a PP did in fact mention that they are a SAH and receive help, to me that's not someone who is able to support their family on one income. JMHO.

I have a daughter who is pregnant and will be a single mom, she knows that she was brought up to not accept a handout and that she has to work to support herself and the baby she's due to have next month, and if then she can't make ends meet, she will have no choice, but otherwise she won't apply for assistance, she wasn't raised to take from the government with food stamps, housing subsidies, etc when she can work and earn $ to support herself and soon to be baby.
I think a lot of people who have this view have never really looked at the tax structure of our country.

So, do people who take the EIC accept "assistance"? How about people who write of the interest on million dollar homes? Both situations are changing the tax structure. There is a good chance, though, that the first person pays a larger percentage of their income on payroll and sales taxes that you cannot avoid.

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#17 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a note to remind everyone that I said in my OP that I am fully aware that everyones situation does not allow this. If you're mad at my husband's comment don't take it out on me! He said it, I only repeated it to show how undeprived he feels.
As I said in the original post: "Of course everone has a very unique situation and I'm sure there are many many people who just have not had the life we have had (and who knows it may not always be this way), but I was also glad that he didn't feel deprived of anything."

This is the second time in the last hour I have had to point this out.
GoddessKristie is offline  
#18 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:20 PM
 
jentilla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: napping in SC
Posts: 720
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The point the Op is making is that A LOT of people are not willing to make the kind of changes it takes to be a one-income family. I don't think it's a critique for those who honestly can't afford to do it. In America we seem to think "we need" way more than we do. We have gone in and out of debt for me to stay home and some may think with teh kind of student loan debt that we have I should work, but my kids are only little once and we want to homeschool. I won't work FT for quite a few more years. I have worked part time and will do that more as teh kids get oder b/c I enjoy and it will help our family.

Birth Photographer mom to four blessings
jentilla is offline  
#19 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you, jentilla. You understand me exactly. I think it is also a problem of society as a whole convincing people that "it's just not possible anymore." Often when I tell people that they can stay at home (as I said in the op), they take a second and get a look like "maybe I can, I've never really thought about it." It's my hope that these people go home and take an honest look at their situation and judge for themselves if they honestly can.
GoddessKristie is offline  
#20 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:34 PM
 
angelcollector1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
OT



I think a lot of people who have this view have never really looked at the tax structure of our country.

So, do people who take the EIC accept "assistance"? How about people who write of the interest on million dollar homes? Both situations are changing the tax structure. There is a good chance, though, that the first person pays a larger percentage of their income on payroll and sales taxes that you cannot avoid.
I don't think this is totally OT, I was responding to a PP who stated they have a SAHD and accept a lot of assistance. I have nothing against someone who gets an EIC because they don't make enough $, and in fact that is a large part of the population, I don't agree that people should have to work several jobs and never see their kids, but I do feel that if you choose not to work it should be due to the fact that you can support the family you chose to have on the income you earn as parents. There are always exceptions to the rules and I totally understand that. I know my husband and I received WIC when my children were babies, we both worked full time opposite shifts to avoid day care expenses and still didn't make enough at that point and qualified for WIC. There's a difference in making a choice to stay home because you want to and staying home because you can afford it.

I will apologize to the OP if she feels this is taking her thread OT.
angelcollector1 is offline  
#21 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:34 PM
 
laohaire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the post, OP!

It's such a tricky and sensitive subject.

On one hand, our culture is so immersed in certain assumptions that many people don't see what is possible. They never question the assumptions of being a two-car family, reducing or eliminating many purchases like toys, DVDs, cable and so on, reducing or elminating eating out, looking for vacations that do not involve airfare or expensive hotels (or even any hotels!), getting a ton of Christmas gifts, going to the movies every Friday night, and so on. That all adds up insanely, but many of us feel that's just "normal" and don't see it as extravagant. So naturally when they mentally subtract one salary, they immediately think "no way." I think that there are very, very few families out there who could go from two incomes to one without making some significant changes (obviously families that started that way would not have to face those changes, nor the families that drop one salary due to a significant increase in another salary, etc.).

On the other hand, it's easy for the OTHER families to feel smug (and I don't think the OP was being smug) and feel that ANY family could do it, just because it's possible (or even easy!) for them. There are so many different situations, locations, needs and so on to assume that all families and situations are alike.

I know for "us" it's been easy to both be WAHPs, a one-car family, and so on. But there are so many reasons why we got there, and a lot of it was luck (technically bad luck in some cases, like the one-car family part, but I won't bore you with that), and sure, some of it was the result of our decisions and efforts.

I think there is a lot of polarity on this subject. 2 income families cannot understand how 1 income families get by, and assume without any thought that the difference must be just that the 1 income is as big as their 2 incomes. 1 income families cannot understand why 2 income families think (or know) they have to have 2 incomes, since they are getting by "just fine" in their situation.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

laohaire is offline  
#22 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 12:55 PM
 
liam's mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: in utter disbelief
Posts: 1,578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
it is not possible for everyone.

my husband's job does not offer decent benefits. he makes a good salary, but to insure our family through their company's "plan" (ha ha) is over a thousand dollars a month.

at my job, health insurance is $30/month for the family. no amount of cooking from scratch would make up for that.

please don't assume it's possible for everyone. reading comments like that really makes me angry.

mostly WAHM, sometimes WOHM to my : two boys.
liam's mom is offline  
#23 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:07 PM
 
Maeve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
From her posts it does NOT seem like she is assuming it is for everyone. She already said that everyones situation is different. But there are some people out there who complain that they can't stay home when it's not that they *can't*, they just won't make certain sacrifices to be able to.

She was not saying that it is possible for everyone. I think too much is being read into her posts that just isn't there.
Maeve is offline  
#24 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by liam's mom View Post
please don't assume it's possible for everyone. reading comments like that really makes me angry.
(Caps for emphasis, not to indicate yelling or anger )
FOR THE THIRD TIME: I DID NOT SAY IT'S POSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE. MY HUSBAND SAID THAT AND I ONLY REPEATED IT TO SHOW THAT HE DOES NOT FEEL DEPRIVED.
PLEASE, check your feelings and be sure you understand the post, and have read everything before you get angry with me!



Quote:
Originally Posted by angelcollector1 View Post
I will apologize to the OP if she feels this is taking her thread OT.
I did not think this off topic at all!
GoddessKristie is offline  
#25 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you Maeve
GoddessKristie is offline  
#26 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:18 PM
 
Christine&men's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lonely, Anywhere, US
Posts: 475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Honestly, I love the fact that her DH is apparently behind her, and not clamouring for more vacations in exotic locations, name brand clothes, etc. My DH is (at times) less enthusiastic. Just now he wanted to cancel his flight (already booked and paid for for months) and rebook, because it would give him a slight advantage to the tune of 2200$$$$$$! Luckily he didn't. He does make a comfortable income but pressures me to go to work. I do cut back (a lot) but my DH is not always behind me, so there go the savings.

So, lucky her who has an understanding DH!

Best wishes and may you continue on your chosen path!

Bravo!

But I only understand too well that sometimes one income is not enough (let's face it, we couldn't live on mine should I go back to work and he stop), and I do understand that thing with the benefits (got a friend in that situation).

So, to each his/her own and Kudos to us all for making it work (whichever way that may be).
Christine&men is offline  
#27 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:26 PM
 
Azuralea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,072
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeve View Post
From her posts it does NOT seem like she is assuming it is for everyone. She already said that everyones situation is different. But there are some people out there who complain that they can't stay home when it's not that they *can't*, they just won't make certain sacrifices to be able to.
I think the problem is that a lot of people here assume that all a lot of couples have to do is "make certain sacrifices" and they could have one income. I don't think the OP did that, but it's pretty common on MDC and I don't blame people for reading more into her post than she might have meant. (And I think the OP is being a good sport by clarifying so graciously as to what she meant.)

I have seen a LOT of posts at MDC about how a mom in some two-income family mentioned that she couldn't stay home because they couldn't afford it, and then the poster complaining about that is just shocked and appalled at the comment because that family has, say, brand-name clothes. Or a house larger than whatever the poster thinks is appropriate, or whatever.

I always kind of roll my eyes at those posts, because the fact is, you can only make guesses as to what somebody's financial situation is from looking at them. I have a lot of friends in two-income families where the two working parents earn almost exactly the same amount of money. That means that if one of them doesn't work, they can't make it, but if they both work, they've got a decent income with room for some little luxuries. I hate to think that somebody would see those hard-working families and then come rushing here to complain about their values and pat themselves on their backs for theirs, but let's just say I've seen that here pretty regularly. And that doesn't even get into families where both parents work and there STILL is nothing left over for little luxuries.

So I think that's the background, and there is a lot of justifiable sensitivity by posters here who have to hear pretty regularly on MDC about how they value material goods over their kids. I appreciate the willingness of the OP to clarify.
Azuralea is offline  
#28 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:27 PM
 
vanauken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: sunny SoCal
Posts: 351
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OP, I didn't take your post as SAHM vs. WAHM. It seems more to me that you're just saying that it's cool that your frugal lifestyle doesn't look like what most people think "frugal lifestyle" looks like. They think, "deprived, awful, tasteless" and you're just happy that your frugal lifestyle is undeprived, wonderful and tasteful.

Which I think is great! I love it when frugality leads to a fuller life. I like frugality because it lets you use your money rather than letting your money use you. A blogger I enjoy recently said that a frugal lifestyle is going to look different for different people, depending on what their priorities are, but the point is that every frugal person uses frugality in order to free themselves up for whatever is most important to them.
(Even if what's most important is just keeping food on the table or health insurance going!) The point is that frugality is a tool for getting what you want.
vanauken is offline  
#29 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:29 PM
 
yukookoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ca
Posts: 878
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well i wouldnt even say that we are "getting by just fine" on one income. We are in debt, we are living pay check to pay check on a huge paycheck and paying our own health and every month we are worried about weather dh will make enough to cover us that month, BUT we are lucky to be able to make that choice. We have decided that me being home with DD is our top priority. We are lucky because we chose to wait to have her until we were in a good place financially. I repeat were haha having her knocked all that down. I have been home for a year now and the lifestyle change for us is HUGE. We were VERY lucky in that with 2 incomes i didnt know what the word frugal meant. We never even looked at price tags, and our favorite pass time on the weekends was shopping. Yes we were dumb, if i coudl take back anything and everything we bought or any meal out or whatever I would, tohave more in savings right now. So yes we are very lucky that we started out in a good position.

It has been a huge change and very worth it and every day i am grateful that I am still able to be home and able to make the choices to give up having bigger better more for the moment I am sure it is always a choice but a choice much much harder to make when you are choosing between feeding your children and working as opposed to not having that extra car and working or having a savings and working. That is the conclusion I have come to. Everyone makes their choices. Parenting is such a hard job and so different for each child and each parent, its hard to say what is best for all. For me, right now, it is best to stay home with my 1 child and I am lucky I have the choice and for me its not a hard one today.


It is really nice to hear that someone else is in the same boat and its very nice that OP recognizes the sacrifices she and her family have made and those sacrifices (in her situation) should be applauded. Anytime someone works hard to get to where they want to be that is a great amazing thing, whether that is a degree, graduating high school, getting a first job or staying home.
yukookoo is offline  
#30 of 133 Old 06-20-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Azuralea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,072
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanauken View Post
OP, I didn't take your post as SAHM vs. WAHM. It seems more to me that you're just saying that it's cool that your frugal lifestyle doesn't look like what most people think "frugal lifestyle" looks like. They think, "deprived, awful, tasteless" and you're just happy that your frugal lifestyle is undeprived, wonderful and tasteful.

Which I think is great! I love it when frugality leads to a fuller life. I like frugality because it lets you use your money rather than letting your money use you. A blogger I enjoy recently said that a frugal lifestyle is going to look different for different people, depending on what their priorities are, but the point is that every frugal person uses frugality in order to free themselves up for whatever is most important to them.
(Even if what's most important is just keeping food on the table or health insurance going!) The point is that frugality is a tool for getting what you want.
This is how I read the original post as well, by the way. I didn't take offense.
Azuralea is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off