I am not aware of any books that talk about what a few of us are specifically noting. I didn't even realize THAT was the key for anyone besides me. LOL
I am not sure exactly when I figured it out, but I do recall reading a book a LONG time ago that suggested paying attention to when your best working times were (a career-type book) and doing the hardest tasks then and aiming to do the easiest tasks during your worst times of the work day. I vividly recall this REALLY helping me in my career years. I started paying closer attention to the time I started perking up at the office. Start and end times were not flexible at that point, so I had to be at work by 8:30 am. I began figuring out that I really only needed a half-hour of quiet, don't talk to me time. I wasn't exactly able to tell the President to leave me alone LOL, so I spent that first hour listening to voicemails and pulling out certain paperwork (in another room). Both activities lended themselves nicely to not being interrupted.
From about 9 am to about 2-3 pm, I could really focus and work on detailed projects and meet with people, etc. That is still to this day my absolute BEST time of every day. Then, I sort of have a mini crash and need a break from brain work. IF I listen to my body and switch gears to a physical task (walking around the building back then, walking to pick up DD from school now) and eat a little and drink a little, then I am often good to go from 4 or 5 to 10 or 11 pm provided I eat dinner and keep up my fluids. In the working world, I switched to monotonous jobs from 2-4 or 3-5 pm (or whenever I felt the call), like returning easy phone calls/emails, printing reports that were already finished and maybe just needed editing or formatting, tidying up my desk from the whirlwind of activity of the rest of the day
, etc. Nowadays, this is generally our downtime where DD & I hang out together doing fairly quiet activities (as quiet as child-oriented play gets...LOL). When I worked part-time when I was pregnant and subsequently when DD was a babe-in-arms who came to work with me, I worked 9-2 four days a week. OH, THIS WAS BLISS!!! For me... LOL I sure had to adapt my working habits a lot with an infant in a holistic health office where peace and tranquility reigned.
Anyway, I just tried new things and adapted when things seemed to be good for a repeatable pattern. I learned the hard way when my DD was at her best and worst and all the rest. It was like I had forgotten my own patterns, too, and had to relearn them and adapt them to fit hers. She is a MUCH earlier riser than I am by nature and her best time of the day is MUCH earlier than mine. This seemed to take me an inordinate amount of time to figure out. LOL Oh gee, maybe because I myself was sleep-deprived. LOL
I would suggest carrying around a little notebook or create a document on your computer to take some notes for each member of your family. Start with just one person, perhaps yourself, and think about the following each day for a few days (just a couple minutes a few times a day or maybe 10 minutes once a day):
~ natural waking times (without alarms or other people's alarms)
~ natural sleeping times (this can be very challenging, in my experience, in our society)
~ typical hunger patterns (My DD has ALWAYS been an "every two hours" kid. She has a super high metabolism and MUST eat frequently. I am forever grateful to a friend who told me to breastfeed her first every time she cried when she was about a month old and I was simply freaking out. The child went from 0 to 60 in 30 seconds flat! I had no idea just how hungry she was. I am so different in this regard.)
~ times when the person usually smiles easily, follow directions, can focus on an age-appropriate task, appears to have energy and enthusiasm for most activities - even those that are not favorites, etc.
~ challenging times no matter what you do or say or provide
After you get a feel for one person in the family, do the same for the next. And the next, etc. Include DH for his days off and especially for after work timeframes. You can ask these people questions, too. Obviously really little ones cannot answer, but even little kids know when they are hungry or want to play or snuggle, etc. You know your kids anyway. When are they clingy? When does everyone hang off of you? When can you finally get to the toilet? When do you shower?
Look for clues in your days and fill in the notebook. Then, match your notes to timeframes and fit the pieces of the puzzle together. You have five people in your family, so it may take you awhile to gather your notes, etc. That is okay. Consciously trying to mesh the natural habits of five people into one 10-14 hour day might be a little time-consuming, but I know it has saved my family immeasurable amounts of time and energy. I highly recommend it!
I hope this helps.