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#1 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 04:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I have 3 kids now, 4.5; 2.5; and 1mo. i have no rhyme or reason to my day. i know i am not nearly as productive as i should/could be and i find myself stressing over housework instead of spending time with my kids. i know there are those of you out there who enjoy the best of both of these worlds.

i want to schedule my days with daily maintenance to keep on top of the house, plus mealplan-cook-craft with my kids-read/learn with them-and have outside/excersice time-pay bills..........well everything that goes on in a mommy/wife world.

i am having a time getting a grip here. thanks in advance.
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#2 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 04:42 PM
 
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Maybe check out Motivated Moms.

It is a planner that has it all divided up day to day.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#3 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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I am feeling the same way... checking out the Motivated Moms site now and looking forward to more ideas!

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#4 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 05:02 PM
 
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Ask your kids for help too..it makes a big difference. You could do this and make a cup for you

Under ; How to help kids with daily chores

http://www.howtome.com/
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#5 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Maybe check out Motivated Moms.

It is a planner that has it all divided up day to day.
i have tried mm unsuccessfully. that would work, but my problem is how to fit it into a day of needy kids.

i'm anxiously waiting.
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#6 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Maybe check out Motivated Moms.

It is a planner that has it all divided up day to day.
Do you have this and how do you like it?
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#7 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 07:10 PM
 
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you have a newborn! i understand wanting to regain some sense of order to your days, and i'm sure you will get lots of good advice here, but remember that it will naturally come back too, as your baby develops more of a routine and your older kids adjust to the changes. i admire you being eager to get things under control again, and you clearly have your priorities straight with wanting to focus more on kids' activities than stressing over housework. go easy on yourself while you work toward your goals.
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#8 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 07:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post
you have a newborn! i understand wanting to regain some sense of order to your days, and i'm sure you will get lots of good advice here, but remember that it will naturally come back too, as your baby develops more of a routine and your older kids adjust to the changes. i admire you being eager to get things under control again, and you clearly have your priorities straight with wanting to focus more on kids' activities than stressing over housework. go easy on yourself while you work toward your goals.
i never had the control to regain.
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#9 of 42 Old 01-06-2009, 09:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MomtoRyan View Post
Do you have this and how do you like it?
I have used it and did like it. Money has been an issue and I do not have the 2008 one.

I have thought about playing around and doing my own but.....welll.......that is a lot of work!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#10 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 10:43 AM
 
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sorry, i thought i was hearing an overwhelmed mom of a new baby - drawing too much from my own experiences, i guess.

in your op, it sounds like you want to make a lot of changes. is there one thing that stands out to you, that would make the most difference in how you feel about your day? maybe there is one thing you could focus on first, and once you get that habit (or whatever) firmly established, it might make it easier to then implement the other changes you want to bring about in your life.
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#11 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 11:28 AM
 
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I'm trying to get organized, too. My children are 12, 5, 2, and baby due in two months. I've been loosely following Flylady for almost a month, and it is helping a lot. I'm definitely not completely organized yet, but the most important thing I've learned so far is that baby steps are a very good thing! Going from complete chaos to perfectly organized is not something ANYone can do all at once overnight.

I chose some priorities to start with by asking myself what was making me the most crazy. For me, transition times during the day (mornings, dinnertime, bedtime) were the hardest, so I focused on writing out a routine to follow during these times to help them go smoother. I added in some Flylady elements (keeping the sink shiny and free of dirty dishes, cleaning the bathroom everyday aka "swish & swipe", making a binder to organize my routines, lists, calendars, coupons, etc), and now I feel a lot calmer.

As these things are becoming habits I think I can live with indefinitely, I'm beginning to think of more ways to become more organized. I'm starting a list of other things to implement like making a master list of birthdays and addresses so that I can actually mail out all those extended family birthday cards on time. I want to make a price book and master shopping list so that I can get the best deal on groceries and stock up my pantry. I also need to think of more arts & crafts ideas for the kids because they seem to be getting bored with the same old stuff we've been doing for while.

Anyway, sorry to write a book here, but I just wanted to say that it's a long process. There is always something more to do, more to organize, so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't all come together right away. There are many tools out there (Flylady, Motivated Moms, meal planning sites, craft sites, etc) that have lots of good ideas. Take what you like and what works for you and leave the rest. Good luck!
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#12 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MomtoRyan View Post
Do you have this and how do you like it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
I have used it and did like it. Money has been an issue and I do not have the 2008 one.

I have thought about playing around and doing my own but.....welll.......that is a lot of work!
http://www.motivatedmoms.com/2002-Book.pdf

this is the pdf from 2002 they let you have for free.........i have no idea how it compares to current ones.

Quote:
Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post
sorry, i thought i was hearing an overwhelmed mom of a new baby - drawing too much from my own experiences, i guess.
i appreciate your imput, please don't be sorry.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lemongrass View Post
I'm trying to get organized, too. My children are 12, 5, 2, and baby due in two months. I've been loosely following Flylady for almost a month, and it is helping a lot. I'm definitely not completely organized yet, but the most important thing I've learned so far is that baby steps are a very good thing! Going from complete chaos to perfectly organized is not something ANYone can do all at once overnight.

I chose some priorities to start with by asking myself what was making me the most crazy. For me, transition times during the day (mornings, dinnertime, bedtime) were the hardest, so I focused on writing out a routine to follow during these times to help them go smoother. I added in some Flylady elements (keeping the sink shiny and free of dirty dishes, cleaning the bathroom everyday aka "swish & swipe", making a binder to organize my routines, lists, calendars, coupons, etc), and now I feel a lot calmer.

As these things are becoming habits I think I can live with indefinitely, I'm beginning to think of more ways to become more organized. I'm starting a list of other things to implement like making a master list of birthdays and addresses so that I can actually mail out all those extended family birthday cards on time. I want to make a price book and master shopping list so that I can get the best deal on groceries and stock up my pantry. I also need to think of more arts & crafts ideas for the kids because they seem to be getting bored with the same old stuff we've been doing for while.

Anyway, sorry to write a book here, but I just wanted to say that it's a long process. There is always something more to do, more to organize, so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't all come together right away. There are many tools out there (Flylady, Motivated Moms, meal planning sites, craft sites, etc) that have lots of good ideas. Take what you like and what works for you and leave the rest. Good luck!
i really like the idea of all of these, i have looked at most of them. i would love to hear more details on what is working for you.......what does your day look like?
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#13 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 04:14 PM
 
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I think that most moms who are trying to achieve a system of house cleaning will admit that they have tried different methods and that your needs are constantly changing ... what works now might not work 3 months from now.

I did fly lady for quite some time ... but then "fell off the wagon"

I have found what works best is to keep it simple so your list is not ruling you. You want to feel good about it at the end of the day.

I personally have an issue with visual clutter -- really gets me down. So for me - being organized (ie put everything away and tidy) is more important than the cleaning. The cleaning is so much easier if everything is put away.

Define for yourself the parts of running your household that are musts. For me - I can not stand to get up in the morning and start my day with a messy kitchen -- just puts me in a funk - so I do make sure that I go to bed with a clean kitchen - that way I can start fresh.

There is a thread here about what you can do in 2 minutes. That has helped alot because if I am unmotivated I know I can do a bunch of 2 minute things throughout the day. It is amazing what you can accomplish just while the kettle is boiling .. so use the minutes.

Involve your kids as much as possible. When ds was quite young he would fold laundry while watching tv. .. and when he was really little I put a sock on each hand .. turned some music on and we did sock dusting :

We would even play a game of "what can we get done while the commerical is on" ...... I would prepare a list in advance of what he could do -- they were simple things like go hang up your coat and put your shoes away...... or put your dishes in the dishwasher and wipe the counter ... ...

Ultimately for me right now -- I did up a spread sheet that I loosely follow ... if it doesn't work for me a few months from now .. I will change it.
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#14 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 04:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lemongrass View Post
I'm trying to get organized, too. My children are 12, 5, 2, and baby due in two months. I've been loosely following Flylady for almost a month, and it is helping a lot. I'm definitely not completely organized yet, but the most important thing I've learned so far is that baby steps are a very good thing! Going from complete chaos to perfectly organized is not something ANYone can do all at once overnight.

I chose some priorities to start with by asking myself what was making me the most crazy. For me, transition times during the day (mornings, dinnertime, bedtime) were the hardest, so I focused on writing out a routine to follow during these times to help them go smoother. I added in some Flylady elements (keeping the sink shiny and free of dirty dishes, cleaning the bathroom everyday aka "swish & swipe", making a binder to organize my routines, lists, calendars, coupons, etc), and now I feel a lot calmer.

As these things are becoming habits I think I can live with indefinitely, I'm beginning to think of more ways to become more organized. I'm starting a list of other things to implement like making a master list of birthdays and addresses so that I can actually mail out all those extended family birthday cards on time. I want to make a price book and master shopping list so that I can get the best deal on groceries and stock up my pantry. I also need to think of more arts & crafts ideas for the kids because they seem to be getting bored with the same old stuff we've been doing for while.

Anyway, sorry to write a book here, but I just wanted to say that it's a long process. There is always something more to do, more to organize, so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't all come together right away. There are many tools out there (Flylady, Motivated Moms, meal planning sites, craft sites, etc) that have lots of good ideas. Take what you like and what works for you and leave the rest. Good luck!
Wow great post! I love the idea of a birthday and address book too.

To the OP, one thing that helped me get my days in order was to have an outing during the day that was a scheduled thing. Now ds and I have four "planned" things every week and it has really turned our days around and helped us find a good rhythm. I'm not sure how feasible that is with three kids though, probably not very feasible for most.

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#15 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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I used an MDC mama's (knittinintheshade, I think) "brain files" as a template to make my own daily routine lists.

Here:
http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...rent=DAILY.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...ent=Friday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...t=Thursday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...nt=Tuesday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...=Wednesday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...ent=Monday.jpg


I also use a Google Calendar to stay on track. We HS, so I keep my DS' schedule in one color, mine in another, DH's another, etc.
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#16 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 05:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kellid View Post
http://www.motivatedmoms.com/2002-Book.pdf

this is the pdf from 2002 they let you have for free.........i have no idea how it compares to current ones.
Thanks for that link!

Quote:
i really like the idea of all of these, i have looked at most of them. i would love to hear more details on what is working for you.......what does your day look like?
My day looks something like this right now (I know it's going to change quite a bit when the new baby is born, when we move in then next couple of months, and when dh gets the second job he's been trying to get)...

Wake up at 6:30 and do morning routine (get dressed, turn on coffee, empty or load dishwasher as needed, wake up dd1 & dd2 and get them ready for school, make beds, breakfast, drive dd's to school, clean up kitchen, declutter something, 'swish & swipe' bathroom). Sometimes ds (2yo) sleeps through all of this, but sometimes he wakes up and I get him dressed and fed and take him with me when I drop the girls off at school. DH sleeps later because he works late.

Then I wake up dh and start the laundry. Dh takes over with ds for a few hours while I work on school (independent online study). Then I get to hang out with dh and ds, have lunch, do more laundry, run errands, and do some housework that rotates throughout the week (vacuuming, cleaning out fridge, etc. - I don't have a set routine for these things yet, but I'm working on it).

DD#2 gets out of school first - dh picks her up from school and then he goes to work - and dd#1 comes home on the bus. Then we start the afternoon/evening routine. Homework, arts & crafts, dinner, clean kitchen, baths, reading, pick up toys and other kid-made messes, and then bedtime for the younger two dc.

My night routine involves working on my binder, organizing coupons, making lists for the next day/week, getting my clothes and things together that I will need in the morning, one last clean up in the kitchen and bath, setting up the next morning's coffee, and whatever else I can think of to do to make things easier for myself later on.

Weekends are less structured, but I try to stick to at least the dinner/bedtime routine. We do more crafty stuff on weekends, but I'm struggling with keeping the kids occupied all day. Dh works days on the weekend, so that makes it harder. I look forward to Mondays because it's so much easier when there is a set schedule to follow. I really need to figure out how to structure the weekends better.

I'm not sure how helpful that is for you because your kids aren't in school (and your dh probably isn't home during the day like mine is), so the bulk of your day is much different than mine.
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#17 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ya it's a big help!
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#18 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 09:52 PM
 
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Ok, I have 3 kids now, 4.5; 2.5; and 1mo. i have no rhyme or reason to my day. i know i am not nearly as productive as i should/could be and i find myself stressing over housework instead of spending time with my kids. i know there are those of you out there who enjoy the best of both of these worlds.

i want to schedule my days with daily maintenance to keep on top of the house, plus mealplan-cook-craft with my kids-read/learn with them-and have outside/excersice time-pay bills..........well everything that goes on in a mommy/wife world.

i am having a time getting a grip here. thanks in advance.
I have one child who is 7, so my routine may or may not be helpful. Here goes:

When DD is in school (she's on a year-round schedule and is currently on Winter Break for 4-1/2 weeks), we have a productive working schedule. When she is on break, things get more haphazard. Winter Break is the most challenging due to the holidays and DH's change in work schedule and houseguests, etc. Like a PP mentioned, I also find that having a scheduled activity a few days a week really helps develop/maintain routines.

Mornings:
~ DH is the first one up. He gets his quiet time this way each day.
~ DD is next up.
~ They eat breakfast together and DD follows a morning routine to get ready for school (potty & wash hands, eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, make bed, brush hair, get backpack and shoes on and a jacket when needed). They also finish preparing her lunch (see evenings).
~ I am up last and follow my own routine that is not intertwined with DH & DD. This is their special time together. My routine is meditate (5-10 min), yoga (4 poses), shower, brush teeth, tone & moisturize face, body lotion when needed, get dressed including jewelry and makeup when warranted, make bed, take the fullest load of laundry out of the 3-bin sorter and toss it into the laundry basket and take it downstairs, put on jacket and shoes (I meet DD in the foyer).
~ My dad lives really close and he comes to our house each school morning and he & I walk DD to school.
~ When I get back home, DH is usually in the shower.
~ I fix and eat breakfast, then start the load of laundry I left. (If DH has already showered, then I start the laundry first.) DH finds me when he is ready to leave for the day and we chat for a few minutes before he heads off.
~ From here, it depends on what day of the week it is...which I'll discuss later. I try to finish the load of laundry during the day, too, and have DD's clothes on her bed ready for her to fold and put away when she gets home from school. I put away DH's & my laundry. I also have a few classes I go to during the week and volunteer days, etc.

Afternoons:
~ I have an alarm set on my phone for picking up my DD from school. If I am out, it is just enough time to finish up whatever I am doing and drive to get her. Usually, however, I am home when it goes off and I have time to finish up whatever I am doing, go potty, wash my hands, drink a glass of water, put on my shoes, and take out any trash/recycling on my walk to pick her up.
~ On our walk home, we discuss her day and transition to home life.
~ Once home, she gives me anything necessary from her backpack, empties her lunch box, and puts away her backpack and jacket. I am preparing our snack during this and we continue talking about her day and/or my day and/or our afternoon/evening plans.
~ Her school has a Monday folder that is full of paperwork, homework, etc for parents that goes home every Monday. On Monday afternoons, she starts her homework and I go through the parent portion of the paperwork. I act immediately on every item or I would go crazy! LOL We recycle the stuff that is not pertinent to our family immediately, but the rest sits on DH's placemat until he has a chance to go through it then he recycles it or I snag anything special.
~ At different points in the school year, she has afterschool activities certain days of the week. Whenever possible, I choose times that end before DH gets home from work and times that start at least an hour after she is out of school UNLESS the activity is held at her school. This provides the least interruptions to our daily routine and is easy to build in for 'x' number of weeks. DH & I are big on not overscheduling DD or ourselves, so her limit is two activities a week.

Evenings:
~ DD & I both tend to do best with downtime in the late afternoons/early evenings, so I pretty much make it a point whenever possible to be home before DH gets home from work.
~ Sometimes I cook dinner, but mostly DH cooks. He enjoys cooking far more than I do and he is a far more picky eater, so it works best for our family. He calls when he is leaving his office and I will start any prepwork, when needed. He generally changes clothes when he first comes home and relaxes a bit before starting dinner. He has a 35-40 minute commute, so this is his transition time.
~ We feel dinner time is sacred family time and do our best to eat dinner together most of the time. I often have evening meetings and events through my volunteer/personal pursuits, so we just do our best.
~ I clean up the kitchen after dinner. Sometimes DH & DD hang out with me and other times they play in the other room. DD prepares her snacks and for the week on Sundays and we discuss her lunches and she prepares parts of it each night. Sometimes dinner is later than usual and DD gets ready for bed and DH will help me.
~ After dinner (kitchen is clean) and before DD's bedtime is family time. We play games or chat or look things up online or read or, lately, work on her dollhouse.
~ DD follows her bedtime routine, which consists of potty, wash hands, brush teeth, floss teeth, change into jammies, and brush hair. This has evolved over the years and we used to read to her, but now she reads to herself between giving us hugs and kisses (cuddles and snuggles included) and lights out.

Nights:
~ This is free time. Sometimes DH & I will work on a project together or separately. Sometimes we will watch a movie or TV show (he more than I). Sometimes we'll read separately in the same room. Sometimes we'll be on our respective laptops in the same room or in different rooms.

Usually on Sunday afternoons, DD chooses her outfits for the week after one of us checks the weather for her. She keeps them in a stack on top of her dresser.

I focus on a main goal each day of the week for my daily daytime activity.
Mondays - I spend one hour paying attention to an area of the house that needs my love and attention.
Tuesdays - I spend 15-60 minutes on our finances.
Wednesdays - This is usually my project day and can run the gamut. I often volunteer a few hours this day, also.
Thursdays - This is DD's short day at school, so we spend the extra time together doing whatever strikes our fancy. This varies widely.
Fridays - I often meet with friends this day, even if just a longer walk before picking our children up from school. Once a month, my playgroup meets for a Mom's Morning. And so on...

Best wishes in finding what works for you!!!

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#19 of 42 Old 01-07-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Honestly....my biggest issue is getting up in the morning

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#20 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 01:09 PM
 
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Honestly....my biggest issue is getting up in the morning
me too:

I think sometimes it would be easier to do housework in the evening -- I no longer seem to be a Morning Person - which certainly adds frustration to my day - trying to motivate myself
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#21 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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Great thread. Lots of good ideas here that I need so I'm subscribing for inspiration.
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#22 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Best wishes in finding what works for you!!!
thank you. i appreciate the detail. it is a bit different with the kid differences, but i can see the things that would work for us, take away the things that don't and plug in what we need..........i'll try to see what it will look like.

did it take you time to figure out what works or are you just that sort of person?
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#23 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 03:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Peppermint Leaf View Post

I think sometimes it would be easier to do housework in the evening -- I no longer seem to be a Morning Person - which certainly adds frustration to my day - trying to motivate myself
I am sooooo not a morning person, never have been. I stay up until at least 3 am so I get a ton of stuff done. Plus, the kids are in school all day so I can sleep then.

Ugh, it's backwards but it works for us.

I guess it's just about finding what works for you, OP.

I do like the idea of getting the kids involved, that helps a lot. Not only do you get a little extra cleaning help, it keeps them busy and you're spending time together.

Personally, I like eating early, no later than 5:30 (5 is ideal) so the kids will be done with eating (dessert included) by 6 because our bedtime stuff starts at 7. That way, it's lights out by 8.

Oh, the crock pot is a mother's best friend.

I'd have more info but our situations are quite different.

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#24 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 03:00 PM
 
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thank you. i appreciate the detail. it is a bit different with the kid differences, but i can see the things that would work for us, take away the things that don't and plug in what we need..........i'll try to see what it will look like.

did it take you time to figure out what works or are you just that sort of person?
It took me quite awhile to figure it out! The key for me was figuring out when my "best" time frames were during the day and when my "worst" time frames were and adjusting activities to fit those. Paying attention to the same things in my child was even more important. Finding the overlapping times when we were both at our best and both at our worst and plugging in appropriate activities from there was when our days really started to hum along smoothly.

Before DD started school, things were really smooth because I had more control of when we started our day. It took me quite awhile to adjust to her EARLY school start time. (She has to be at school in line at 7:35 am.) I still have a hard time with the early morning waking times. That is why I don't interact with DH & DD in the early morning. None of us need my crankiness! LOL I stay in my own little world and work my way towards socialness (not a word, but you get the idea) gently and then I am not cranky. Forcing me to interact before I am fully awake is counterproductive. I did have to adjust my sleeping and waking times and get used to the new waking time slowly.

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#25 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 04:06 PM
 
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I used an MDC mama's (knittinintheshade, I think) "brain files" as a template to make my own daily routine lists.

Here:
http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...rent=DAILY.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...ent=Friday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...t=Thursday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...nt=Tuesday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...=Wednesday.jpg

http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n...ent=Monday.jpg


I also use a Google Calendar to stay on track. We HS, so I keep my DS' schedule in one color, mine in another, DH's another, etc.

Wow thanks for sharing!!
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#26 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 04:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kellid View Post
Ok, I have 3 kids now, 4.5; 2.5; and 1mo. i have no rhyme or reason to my day. i know i am not nearly as productive as i should/could be and i find myself stressing over housework instead of spending time with my kids. i know there are those of you out there who enjoy the best of both of these worlds.

i want to schedule my days with daily maintenance to keep on top of the house, plus mealplan-cook-craft with my kids-read/learn with them-and have outside/excersice time-pay bills..........well everything that goes on in a mommy/wife world.

i am having a time getting a grip here. thanks in advance.
I haven't read any of the other posts yet. My children are 14 and 9 1/2 years old.

Days of no rhyme or reason are necessary for a little while for a mom of three children under five, one only a month old! But it can't be sustained for long and, yes, a flexible, loose schedule can help reduce anxiety.

Don't make the mistake of looking at a daily planner broken down by hours and thinking that you should or could fill up every empty block of time. Don't make the mistake of looking at other moms thinking that they've got everything covered. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. It doesn't matter. Take this time to get to know yourself, what YOU want, what you are comfortable with, what you need to be happy.

I suffer severely from second-guessing myself at the end of the day. I tend to look back and think, There was that half hour after I went grocery shopping and before it was time to go to the doctor appointment when I could have been doing something! I picture the fourteen-hour day stretched out behind me, all those blocks of time and think, I only managed to do this and this??!

But I'm learning to make goals for myself, carefully planned, based upon what I know I'm capable of. Then when I get to the end of the day (or whenever I'm contemplating my self worth ) I can be satisfied with myself.

Also, it just plain takes longer to do anything when you've got children that little and dependent on you. Accept that, schedule that in to you day and then feel free to be satisfied and pleased with yourself. If you planned to have lunch from noon to 1:00 and go to the park from 1:00 to 2:00, but lunch ended up taking a lot longer than you scheduled, just don't worry about it. Don't even think twice about it. If it took that long it's because that's how much time was required that day.

If you stayed an extra 5 minutes in the shower more than you had scheduled, don't think twice about it. That's how much time you needed that day.

I don't know how much of this applies to you. But it's some stuff I wish I'd known when I had really little kids. Think about it when you are creating your own schedule.

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#27 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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I went through this recently with a group of mom's and we did find a way to make it work for all of us. We took 2 weeks and just let life happened, noting it down on paper all the while.

Note when people get hungry, when kids get needy, when they have downtime, when people ask to go outside etc. etc. Just watch the rhythm of your family. Now start to look at yourself as the rhythm coordinator. You see the needs before they arise. You know your 2.5 year old get sleepy everyday between 12-1 so what do you want done before that? Lunch before nap? Well, what time do you need to start lunch in order for it to be ready for 11:15 ish so your 2.5 year old will be ready for nap. Okay so you start lunch at 10:45 and need the kids to chill out during that time so you can get food made and kitchen cleaned up so maybe plan on spending some focused one on one time with them from 10 am til time to make lunch. Then when you get up and say it's time for you to make lunch they will probably be able to chill for a bit while you do it.

See what I am saying? Take the major components of your day (naps, mealtimes and things that need to happen) and then work in things around them with you being the ever so wise mama over seeing everything. the biggest trick I have is understanding that if I need time to do something on my own I need to spend some focused time with them before hand.

For me, a schedule never works, but finding a rhythm allows us to be flexible but still gives me something to lean on day to day.

Good luck mama!
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#28 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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It took me quite awhile to figure it out! The key for me was figuring out when my "best" time frames were during the day and when my "worst" time frames were and adjusting activities to fit those. Paying attention to the same things in my child was even more important. Finding the overlapping times when we were both at our best and both at our worst and plugging in appropriate activities from there was when our days really started to hum along smoothly.
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Note when people get hungry, when kids get needy, when they have downtime, when people ask to go outside etc. etc. Just watch the rhythm of your family. Now start to look at yourself as the rhythm coordinator. You see the needs before they arise.
This is really it in a nutshell. When I follow my kids' ( and my own) daily rhythms and make routines that accentuate the positive and alleviate the negative, then things are much more calm and productive. Meals, housework, schoolwork, and other necessities of life like paying the bills are easier to get done. It just takes some time and attention to get into the natural flow of things.

My kids, I've noticed, have really taken to having daily routines that we follow. (I've even caught my 12yo reading my Home Binder with interest. ) I do look at the clock, though, and try to keep to a set schedule around dinner/bedtime. My 5yo needs to be in bed by 7:00 or she is a bear to wake up for school in the morning. Knowing this, I plan to start dinner by 5 and have bath-time directly after we eat since my 2yo is always covered in food from dinner. In the morning, we also have to pay attention to the clock so that the girls are on time to school. Other times are more flexible, though. And I know that it's going to be so much harder to follow a schedule with a newborn, so I'm probably going to have to allot more time to tasks that need to be done by a certain time.
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#29 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 09:36 PM
 
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From looking at the Motivated Mom planner, this seems to be very similar, and is FREE to boot:

This first post explains the concept, and allows you to view it:
http://simplemom.net/daily-docket/

And you can download it (along with her other home management notebook stuff) here:
http://simplemom.net/home-management...-a-great-idea/

(PS-besides the daily docket, Simple Mom has a ton of other great organizing tips!)

I'm NMY , but I use the "generic" version of her Daily Docket as an organizer at work, because my schedule and tasks (while repetitious) vary hugely day to day. I think it is a great tool, and worth checking out.

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#30 of 42 Old 01-08-2009, 09:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by flowers View Post

Note when people get hungry, when kids get needy, when they have downtime, when people ask to go outside etc. etc. Just watch the rhythm of your family. Now start to look at yourself as the rhythm coordinator. You see the needs before they arise.

See what I am saying? Take the major components of your day (naps, mealtimes and things that need to happen) and then work in things around them with you being the ever so wise mama over seeing everything. the biggest trick I have is understanding that if I need time to do something on my own I need to spend some focused time with them before hand.

For me, a schedule never works, but finding a rhythm allows us to be flexible but still gives me something to lean on day to day.

Good luck mama!

This is what I do too. It has changed over the years as needs and other variables have changed. Take everything that I say with a grain of salt though because my house is often messy - I am a work in progress!

Roughly, my new routine is looking like:

Morning routine: get dressed, breakfast, off to school, etc
I am going to use the morning when the oldest two are at school to focus on exercise for me/errands.

Pick up ds at 11:00 ish. Outside play (already in snowsuit), lunch, quiet time (Mon, Thursdays, Fridays. On Tues we go right from school to gymnastics, Wed. we have a playgroup.). He needs it after school - independant playing with toys, reading, crafts, TV on occasion. I'm hoping that baby will pick up on this groove and start a long afternoon nap at this time, too. I would like my afternoons to be focused on housework and 1 on 1 time w/ ds.

3:00 ish - pick up DD. Weather permitting we all play outside again (already dressed). Snack at home. HAng out with DD (and everyone, of course) talk about day, etc. 4-4:30 start dinner prep - Kids are usually at kitchen table doing a craft/playdough at this time.

Supper-family time together, if we have time - bath-books-bed.

Before any of my kids were in school, my high level routine was

Get up - lounge around/quiet play-have breakfast - morning activity (park, playgroup, crafts if staying home) - home for lunch - any napping kids nap - after nap activity, ideally backyard play - start supper prep around 4:00ish (to leave wiggle room for incidental stuff that would happen) I'd often let them watch a show around 5:00 or so to mitigate the witching hour - supper-bath(sometimes)-bed(always ). My house always seemed to be a mess though and looking back, I can see that I never scheduled cleaning time in
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