Wishful Buying (Like Wishful Thinking) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 04:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was sitting in my office yesterday and I've been doing little runs on stuff- seeing how much I can get rid of and I keep finding things I spent money on. I then don't want to get rid of them, because then I have to admit I made an error.

It's hard to admit this. I can't seem to stop it from happening, even after 14 years of marriage, 14 years of shopping, list making and working with a budget. I still cannot buy only the useful or truly suitable items. I've always got to buy things that end up being wishful.

Here are some examples:

A leopard print hair claw type hairclip, I know my fine hair will never hold with such a device, but I buy it anyway because I *want* to wear it in my hair, and I like it and darn it I'll make it work! I get it home and it slides right out. It's for hairier people. I'm sad and bummed and there is the hairclip sitting on my desk months later.

A shirt at The Goodwill, it's a cute shirt, it will fit me. The truth is I won't actually wear it, the cut is slightly out of style, but I want to make it work because I like the fabric and didn't find anything else. So it's sitting in my closet unworn.

Exercise videos of various flavors- things I don't like doing and will never like doing. I know what I like so why do I buy body building videos? LOL Wishful buying at it's best.

I'll buy some food intending to make some elaborate meal, but when I finally remember it's in the fridge I'm so mad I'm not even motivated to use it up. Why do I do this? I'm not a chef, I have really bad food allergies and honestly it peeves me to make food I can't eat. Yet I wishfully tell myself it's the right thing to do- slaving over a stove to please everyone else.

I just wanted to share this habit, and that I'm trying to break it. I think if we could just be ourselves it would reduce these kinds of purchases, and save a lot of money.

I have bags and bags heading out the door as I write....
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#2 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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I buy shirts in colors that I know don't look good on me thinking THIS time this color will work! They are pretty colors that I CANNOT wear!

I buy and love reading cookbooks, but I do not like to cook or bake. It stresses me out. I WISH I loved to cook. I have a fairly impressive cookbook library.



Good deal for you getting all that stuff OUT the door! :

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
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#3 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 05:08 PM
 
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LOL! I can relate to the hair clip! I have very fine hair and totally flunked the whole banana clip era. I just buy elastic bands.

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#4 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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Oh yes. I have my own collection of various workout videos collecting dust. Tae Bo? Check. Billy's Boot Camp? Check. Yoga? Check. I never do them for more than a few weeks so I don't know why I keep buying them... I had to stop myself from buying 30 Day Shred!

Kirsten, mama to Monkey since May 2007 and Bean born 11/7/09
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#5 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 08:47 PM
 
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Skirts are my wishful buying. I hate wearing skirts. I don't like having bare legs and most have no pockets. But I am such a sucker for them! Especially at the Goodwill or Value Village. It's only a dollar! Maybe this time it'll work!

I just put two skirts in the donation pile!

Thanks for sharing...this really is a hard habit to break, but I have worked on it for years and have gotten MUCH better.

Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

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#6 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 09:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tinybutterfly View Post


I buy shirts in colors that I know don't look good on me thinking THIS time this color will work! They are pretty colors that I CANNOT wear!

I buy and love reading cookbooks, but I do not like to cook or bake. It stresses me out. I WISH I loved to cook. I have a fairly impressive cookbook library. :
Both of these describe me.
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#7 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 10:29 PM
 
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I don't do most of these (I'm totally uninterested in clothes, for one thing), but this is totally me:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
I'll buy some food intending to make some elaborate meal, but when I finally remember it's in the fridge I'm so mad I'm not even motivated to use it up.
I've only ever bought one exercise video and I have used it intermittently, which is about what I expected when I bought it. It's yoga, and I'd let yoga almost completely slip out of my life, so I wanted a jumpstart.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#8 of 22 Old 05-19-2009, 11:19 PM
 
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Oh yes. I am so with you.

(1) exercise bike:

I thought, "I know a lot of people don't end up using their exercise equipment, but I will be different!"

(2) Chinese cookbook:

"I will learn to be an awesome cook and specialize in Chinese cuisine." (Note: It is time for me to admit that I can't cook and I don't like cooking!)

(3) Many craft books (don't have time to craft)

(4) A lot of yarn (see above).

(5) Knee high boots (these look super cute, but I am too shy to wear them because someone might notice them. I'm weird.)
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#9 of 22 Old 05-20-2009, 01:27 AM
 
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I used to "suffer" from this affliction, as well.

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa

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#10 of 22 Old 05-20-2009, 03:40 AM
 
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At least you have a little voice in your head telling you before you buy it that it wont work- listen to it. I dont have one at all. I am convinced everything on my wishlist is neccessity and will make our lives so much easier/better. Then Im always disappointed cause things never meet my expectations. And because I think they will get a lot of use, I always invest in the best (i.e most elaborate and expensive). So at least you have somewhere to work from. Maybe I just shouldnt buy anything at all for 12 months- then when I come out of detox I can realize what we really 'need'
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#11 of 22 Old 05-20-2009, 04:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HipGal View Post

(5) Knee high boots (these look super cute, but I am too shy to wear them because someone might notice them. I'm weird.)


I have the same shyness with knee high boots. I've never bought any (they're freaking expensive!) but I sure wanted to. My coworker/gf has a pair of black knee high boots. She looks sexy hot when she wears them But I'm convinced I will look like a freak (In fact, all I wear is baggy shirts and baggy sweat pants. I'm convinced I'm some hideous creature who can't wear nice clothes like "everyone" else. I'm weird, too ).

My wish buys:

*Cute little sexy dresses. Goodwill is the best! I went years ago and tried some sexy little numbers on infront of another gf. I gave her a woody I bought them. Never wore them (duh!) and they're still in my closet. FTR, this wish -buy went by-by thanks to post baby body

*Scrapbook materials. DD is (almost) 2 and I've completed 6 pages so far.

*Headbands. You know how women these days will put their hair in a pony and then put the band around their head? I think it looks cute. So I invest in bands. One look in the mirror, they get thrown in a drawer and forgotten about.....until the next time some bands catch my eye at the store. Maybe those will work better.

*Eyeshadow. Funky (for me) eyeshadow. I usually stick to browns. Purple's if I'm feeling sexy (let me tell you, it's been a long time!). But I'll see pretty vibrant colors and I'll buy them--blue, green, silver, etc. Never use them. Eh.
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#12 of 22 Old 05-20-2009, 06:45 PM
 
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oooo this is a great thread!

My wishful purchases:

maxi dresses (I'm short, long dresses and I just don't get along)
rubber flip flops
mineral make up ( I love the way it looks on, I hate how it gets everywhere...I'm a minimalist)

Summer: crafty mama to 2 little girls and wife to Bob
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#13 of 22 Old 05-20-2009, 07:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys are cracking me up, all I'm doing is nodding and saying yep got one of those...

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#14 of 22 Old 05-21-2009, 03:11 AM
 
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Me, too!

- cake decorator set for all my baking (still in unopened box from our wedding two years ago. And yes, I registered for it.)

- a zillion different shades of mineral makeup eyeshadow. (I'm lucky if I use ONE shade once every two weeks. And they sit under my bathroom cabinet because I can't bear to throw them out in case I *really* need dark green eyeshadow one day...)

- six or seven yoga/workout DVDs. (sigh. I guess just having them doesn't make me want to do them.)

- stuff for my back pain...a "Spine Align" and a back stretcher thingy that are both sitting under my bed. (combined cost for both plastic items, about $100. UGH.)

- Waaaaay too many kitchen gadgets, dishes, and various cooking paraphernalia that was NOT bought off our wedding registry that I bought for myself because I had to have it. :

- An ice cream maker that I have used five times and somehow ruined all five batches of ice cream. (How does this happen?)

- a bread maker that is great but seems to be too much of a commitment right now. (Who has five hours to sit and listen for the beep to take the paddle out? And who likes slicing super dense whole grain bread? I thought it would be fluffier like store bread. Sigh.)

- all the plastic Christmas decorations that I don't really like but I bought at the after-Christmas sales because they were so darn cheap. (ditto for Halloween.)

I'm sure there's more. Geez, we just did a HUGE declutter (loaded our whole pickup and dropped it all off at Goodwill) and now I think I need to do a little more.

Mama to Fenergy.gif(06/11/09) and baby boy C baby.gif (06/09/11) 

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#15 of 22 Old 05-21-2009, 07:51 AM
 
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Are you sure this couldn't turn into a trade thread? I so lust after some of these things but can't bring myself to buy them.

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
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#16 of 22 Old 05-21-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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I think I have over 15 skirts that I just "can't" get rid of because hubby loves me in skirts, and I think they are so cute, but I NEVER wear them! Now I'm pregnant so wonder, what if I want to wear them after I have the baby? I should just give all but my favorite 1 or 2 away and if I start wearing those next summer I can consider getting more again (if needed).

Lots of yoga, qigong dvd's that are a great idea but never used (or used once).

Craft stuff that I'll never do, I have the skills but they aren't a priority for my time.
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#17 of 22 Old 05-21-2009, 03:48 PM
 
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Exotic vegetables.

I always think I'm going to make some crazy good meal with them. Uh, not so much. We do eat lots of veggies but stick to the potatoes, onions, tomatoes, corn, peas, carrots... etc... Not so much the kale or rhubarb or whatever.

They just rot in my fridge.
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#18 of 22 Old 05-22-2009, 03:17 AM
 
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This thread is wonderful!

Mine are all in the "this thing will change my life for the better!" category.

My most recent one: a slow cooker. I read the slow cooker thread here, got so inspired and thought it would change my life...I'd actually cook meals everyday! I was turning over a new leaf! Um. No. I've had it a month and I used it only three times. I spent $80 and I put it for sale on Craiglist today for $20. Sigh.

Others include...

A fancy hardwood floor mop/broom thingy, thinking my wood floors would be sparkling clean forever! Dirty as ever.

A juicer: fresh squeezed juice every morning! We'll be so healthy! Used it just a few times, it took nearly an hour to clean the darn thing.

A Gocco Print Machine: I'll make handmade cards for everyone as gifts and never have to buy gifts again! I'll print designs on fabric and shirts for the whole family! Only used it twice. I'm about to put it on eBay next week.
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#19 of 22 Old 05-22-2009, 04:55 PM
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I thought I was the only one that bought hair accessories that won't work for my hair!

Ok, so I just have one word for my wishful buying.

Scrapbooking.

10 years later, zero pages.

Me, a husband, a social butterfly 2008, and a cheeky monkey 2011

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#20 of 22 Old 05-25-2009, 09:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eclectica View Post
A Gocco Print Machine: I'll make handmade cards for everyone as gifts and never have to buy gifts again! I'll print designs on fabric and shirts for the whole family! Only used it twice. I'm about to put it on eBay next week.
(I would LOVE to find a Gocco!! I bet you'll get a buyer right quick.)

*cough* Anyhow...

I just donated a party dress I bought 2 sizes ago, but never wore, because I don't do parties anymore - I got sucked in by "It's only $4!!" Still had tags.

Hmm, what else? I've gotten a lot better, it seems.

Used to be bad about craft supplies (fabric, yarn, mostly.)
Books I never got around to reading, or finishing.
Cottage cheese and sour cream - I can never seem to finish a container of either of these.
Oh! A wireless mouse we bought, hoping they'd improved over the years - nope, still jumpy. It's going on Ebay next week.

Mama to twin boys, Oct-'09 and baby girl, Apri-'12!

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#21 of 22 Old 05-26-2009, 11:32 AM
 
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Fabric. O.M.G. fabric.

I've put a moratorium on fabric buying until I have room in my fabric storage for more.

Yarn's odd. I buy stuff specifically for projects and then finish the projects and then there's a ton of yarn left. I'm slowly knitting through it.
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#22 of 22 Old 05-27-2009, 05:34 PM
 
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- Steam cleaner
- Fabric, Sewing books, Sewing paraphernalia
- Treadmill

Everything else gets used well. These are my wishful-buying-gives-me-a-heart-attack-when-we-move stuff!

nerdy mom to DD1 7yo, D2 infant
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