Has anyone successfully used Flylady to get their house/life in order? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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I just rejoined FlyLady today. I was s FlyLady dropout in 2003 but I am SICK OF THIS MESS!!!!!! For the past two days, I've gotten up before the kids, showered, and got totally ready before they even woke up. I NEVER did that before. I think that alone is encouraging enough for me to get the house in order.


We can all be support for each other on here! Here's to clutter-free, clean homes!

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#32 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 11:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You are all so inspiring! Thank you!:

My MIL came and went, and the house was under control the whole time! I cleared the major clutter before she came, but closets and dressers are still in great need of decluttering. Now that the worst of it is done, I feel like I can tackle it in bits and pieces (15 minutes at time).

This week, I have really focused on establishing some good habits. Every night, I pick out my kids' clothes, clean the kitchen and shine the sink, and pack my kids' lunches for school. Every morning, I swish the toilet and swipe the bathroom sinks and mirrors. Throughout the day, I pick up the toys, shoes, and other bits that have been left out. I can see the routines starting to come together, but I am being careful not to get ahead of myself. Just keeping on top of those few things has made a HUGE difference and I feel so much better. I *love* going into the kitchen in the morning. I *love* knowing that the toilets are clean. I *love* the feeling of peace that comes from not being embarrassed of my home.

Tomorrow is my first official "home blessing". I'm excited! Anyone have a feather duster they use and recommend?
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#33 of 51 Old 08-27-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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I started FlyLady in 2002 when I was pg with DS1 and did it for about a year and then slowly faded away from it. Now I do a version of it but on my own rotating schedule that I put in a spreadsheet based on when I get up until when the kids go to bed. It has helped me know it is ok to only do 2 small cleaning tasks (in addition to tidying, laundry, dishes, and cooking) and that I know I will have something else to do the next day. I've been happy with it. I'm going to look at FlyLady again, though, to get more ideas for things I might have left off my schedule...
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#34 of 51 Old 08-27-2009, 01:22 PM
 
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I've never actually joined Flylady, but I did read the book (Sink Reflections) and found a lot of useful tips and theories. Basically, you've got to take what she reccommends, find the truth behind it, and see if that applies to your own life. For example, I don't do the "shoes" thing, but I do get up and out of the house first thing every day, so the rest of the day I'm presentable if I need to run an errand, answer the door, walk the dog or whatever. I think that's the *idea* behind "getting dressed to the shoes", even though I stay barefoot and keep my sandals by the door. Anyway here's what I picked up from Flylady:

*This is going to sound SO stupid, but I honestly never thought about cleaning as an every-day, maintenance kind of thing. Basically, I would always let things get as messy as possible, then try to clean. You know-- not doing the dishes until there were no clean dishes left to use, instead of doing them every day or after every meal. (This was basically a holdover from my bedroom as a child-- I never cleaned until it got so bad that Mom or Dad made me do it, grounding me from going out until it was presentable again.)

*The idea of having routines-- things that get done every day, things that get done every week. Honestly never occured to me. Like DUH.

*For big cleaning, the practice of spending X time in one room, then moving on to another. This is so helpful to me because I tend to get bogged down in details-- I'll start cleaning the kitchen and the next thing I know, I'm organizing the spice rack or trying to clean behind the stove. Meanwhile, the living room is a disaster and the bathroom is disgusting. Now I try to spend only half an hour cleaning the kitchen, then move on to the living room, etc. Do the most possible in the least amount of time, so that every room sees noticable improvement.

*The concept that a load of laundry isn't DONE until it's folded and put away.

*Attitude. I am trying to acknowledge that I want a clean house *for myself*, that *I* deserve a clean, pleasant, pretty place to live. Trying to change my POV so that it doesn't become a battle ground between me and DH.

*Similarly, the idea that being clean and organized means that you can be MORE spontaneous, not less. Never thought about it that way before, but if your house is clean, you can invite friends over whenever (assuming you'd be embarrassed by a messy house). If your laundry is under control, you can pack a bag for a spontaneous trip out of town with no hassle. Etc.

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#35 of 51 Old 08-29-2009, 01:33 PM
 
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I just wanted to add my agreement that the greatest benefit that Flylady offers is the attitude part. There are tons of cleaning systems, etc. out there. It's not rocket science to make some lists of things that need doing, then do them and check them off.

Flylady is targeted to people who would have trouble doing the above, like me. I have the non-H type of ADHD (not formally diagnosed but I'm pretty sure). Routines and follow-through do NOT come easily to me.

The attitude things that Flylady has helped me with:
  • not whining and blaming the condition of the household on others
  • doing it for ME
  • recognizing how much chaos in the home saps my energy and stops me from feeling spontaneous and free to "take on" other things
  • recognizing how perfectionism stops me from doing anything when I get overwhelmed (which happens easily)
  • seeing housework as a positive use of my time that is nourishing to myself and others (not a waste of time as my mother felt)

I've reallly needed to make the above attitude shifts before being able to raise the overall standard of order in my home. Things have improved a lot around here . I still want to incorporate more of her recommended habits and routines.

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#36 of 51 Old 08-30-2009, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post
I've never actually joined Flylady, but I did read the book (Sink Reflections) and found a lot of useful tips and theories.
...
*The concept that a load of laundry isn't DONE until it's folded and put away.

*Attitude. I am trying to acknowledge that I want a clean house *for myself*, that *I* deserve a clean, pleasant, pretty place to live. Trying to change my POV so that it doesn't become a battle ground between me and DH.

*Similarly, the idea that being clean and organized means that you can be MORE spontaneous, not less. Never thought about it that way before, but if your house is clean, you can invite friends over whenever (assuming you'd be embarrassed by a messy house). If your laundry is under control, you can pack a bag for a spontaneous trip out of town with no hassle. Etc.
That's what I'm doing -- reading the book. I checked it out from the library!

Also, wanted to add that these last three tips -- and especially the last two -- were incredible Aha! moments for me. I love what you wrote about the battle ground with your DH. I am very similar, and am seeing how my change in attitude is actually positively influencing DH -- a nice, but unintended, benefit! Today we had guests for lunch, and what a pleasure it was NOT to have anxiety before they came. It was a world of difference from even 2 weeks ago.

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Originally Posted by Ksenia View Post
The attitude things that Flylady has helped me with:
  • not whining and blaming the condition of the household on others
  • doing it for ME
  • recognizing how much chaos in the home saps my energy and stops me from feeling spontaneous and free to "take on" other things
  • recognizing how perfectionism stops me from doing anything when I get overwhelmed (which happens easily)
  • seeing housework as a positive use of my time that is nourishing to myself and others (not a waste of time as my mother felt)

I've reallly needed to make the above attitude shifts before being able to raise the overall standard of order in my home. Things have improved a lot around here . I still want to incorporate more of her recommended habits and routines.
Love the list of changes in attitude! All of those are true for me and I can see how a change in attitude has the potential to net an incredible change in lifestyle.
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#37 of 51 Old 08-30-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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*wave* flylady has had a HUGE effect on me. i started out with daily emails, and eventually created my own reminders using ical and mail and *things*...i also never got to the zones, not for years, until i made weekly zones, which works so much better for me.

also, goodness, 6 months old? take your time!

*
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#38 of 51 Old 08-30-2009, 04:18 PM
 
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I did fylady in 1999 (yeah, I'm old) when I made the switch from WOHM of one to WAHM of 2 & providign daycare for my BFF's newborn baby. I was never much of a housekeeper, neither was dp, and we knew we would need help to make the transition work. With a toddler and 2 babies all day, I needed the house clean and I needed a system. Flylady was a gift from Hestia (goddess of the home & heart). I would have never gotten my house in shape without that system and made it through that change!

Now, I have my own spiritual home binder with my fellow mdc pagans. Onetruething & I ran a week long workshop on it here. I've gotten away from using that book because we slack so much in the summer, but I'm about to pull it back out as our homeschool year begins next week and we are craving more routine and ritual. A lot of what I have in my binder if Flylady inspired. And her little phrases are like touchstones for me, even these 10 years later. "Housework done imprecfectly/incompletely still blesses my family." This one I still think about because I always feel like I should not start a project if I cannot finish every last bit of it right then and there.

I'm a morning person.  We actually do exist.
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#39 of 51 Old 09-10-2009, 11:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just a quick update. I first posted this almost a month ago. Since then, I have done three things consistently:

1) shined my sink (and cleaned up my kitchen) before I go to bed every.single.night

2) swished and swiped my toilets and bathroom sinks every.single.morning (except Saturday, that's my day off!)

3) done one load of laundry (from wash to put away!) every.single.day (except Sat.)

In addition, I have packed my kids' lunches and laid out their clothes at night.

I need to start decluttering for 15 minutes a day, but I wanted to give myself some time to settle with these three accomplishments first. I really want to thank you all for giving me the kick in the behind that I needed!
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#40 of 51 Old 09-10-2009, 01:48 PM
 
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I hope you feel good about it. Those few things really help me. Keep going!

.
Homeschooling, midwifery mom to 4 beautiful blessings(8,6,4,1)

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#41 of 51 Old 09-10-2009, 01:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjane View Post

This week, I have really focused on establishing some good habits. Every night, I pick out my kids' clothes, clean the kitchen and shine the sink, and pack my kids' lunches for school. Every morning, I swish the toilet and swipe the bathroom sinks and mirrors. Throughout the day, I pick up the toys, shoes, and other bits that have been left out. I can see the routines starting to come together, but I am being careful not to get ahead of myself. Just keeping on top of those few things has made a HUGE difference and I feel so much better. I *love* going into the kitchen in the morning. I *love* knowing that the toilets are clean. I *love* the feeling of peace that comes from not being embarrassed of my home.
Congratulations! Isn't it a great feeling? Having routines and doing things every day makes all the difference. Now I'm working on planning far enough ahead to feel in control even on really hectic days - you know, the days where you have to dash out the door without making beds or giving the bath a wipe or unloading the dishwasher so you can load in the breakfast dishes and then don't get home until after the time dinner needs to be on the table. Those kinds of days still throw me for a loop because I can't do my normal routines. I need to learn how to plan ahead!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post

*The concept that a load of laundry isn't DONE until it's folded and put away.
This one is huge for me! I wonder why laundry is such a common problem for people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjane View Post
Just a quick update. I first posted this almost a month ago. Since then, I have done three things consistently:

1) shined my sink (and cleaned up my kitchen) before I go to bed every.single.night

2) swished and swiped my toilets and bathroom sinks every.single.morning (except Saturday, that's my day off!)

3) done one load of laundry (from wash to put away!) every.single.day (except Sat.)

In addition, I have packed my kids' lunches and laid out their clothes at night.

I need to start decluttering for 15 minutes a day, but I wanted to give myself some time to settle with these three accomplishments first. I really want to thank you all for giving me the kick in the behind that I needed!
Congratulations again! It sounds like you're really doing great!:
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#42 of 51 Old 09-10-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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Two things:

1) Shoes are vile and evil things.

2) If we do a 15 minute 'blessing,' using each of the six able-bodied people in our home, that will give me 90 minutes of cleaning per day, but the kids and dh will only feel like they are doing 15 minutes of chores! Sweet!

Thanks for the thread and congrats on your success!
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#43 of 51 Old 09-13-2009, 05:49 PM
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Flylady does not work for me.
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#44 of 51 Old 09-13-2009, 10:15 PM
 
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well, I spent 3 -4 hours the other night on the website, writing notes and printing stuff ... it IS full of good ideas ... BUT not always so practical for everyone (or am I just so slow that the "15 minute job" concept doesn't work for me ?)

what I found hilarious is that I've been shining my sink for years now ... all the while thinking I had some sort of personality disorder to spend the little time I had for housechores on that rather than on scrubing the floor or dusting ....

I might pick a few ideas and use a bit more of a plan now ... but I'm certainly not yet able to follow the plan in details ....
overall I would rate the usefulness of the website as "positive" rather than "top marks" ....
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#45 of 51 Old 09-14-2009, 02:23 AM
 
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overall I would rate the usefulness of the website as "positive" rather than "top marks" ....
I have found the book and the podcasts much more useful than the web site and the emails. I guess it depends on how you learn, but I love that the book lays it all out in a very logical, organized way. And the podcasts are so useful for the attitude adjustments. It really helped me to hear people calling in and talking about the problems that they have in the home and to hear Flylady's responses -- it helped me to understand how to adapt her system better and it underlined how important one's mindset is in the whole process.

15 minutes is a very important concept because we "sidetracked" types get overwhelmed really easily. If we can just convince ourselves to bite off a do-able chunk of a job, it helps us to get started rather than doing nothing. Also, the Flylady system is about getting away from the "do it all at once" mindset. My life doesn't really allow for that mindset any more -- I can't just turn off my kids for a day or two. It's really helpful to realize that people can to huge, amazing things in 15 minute chunks. Those of who are perfectionistic procrastinators need to develop the habit of starting -- and the 15 minute habit is designed to help with that. We also need to get a bit of everything done rather than hyperfocusing on one project and neglecting everything else.

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#46 of 51 Old 11-10-2009, 05:11 AM
 
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I tried FLYLady for a long time and it just never worked for me. I am trying out Motivated Moms now. I just ordered the last few weeks of this year for $2. I figured that's a pretty good price to check it out and see if it's worth buying for 2010.

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#47 of 51 Old 11-13-2009, 02:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by completebeginnings View Post
Kids from mom and dad get 3 gifts(like the 3 wisemen) 1 homemade(aprons, capes, blankets, scrapbooks etc.),1 practical (usually new underwear, socks or pj's), and one fun thing (usually what they really want with strong encouragement by mom). Not only has this been cheaper but it really cuts down on the stuff.
I really like this idea. I don't know if I'd be able to stick to it (I spend all year picking up neat things at yard sales, crafts shows, and thrift stores for gifts), but I really like it. I just might steal it.

my toy shop on etsy.com: wooden baby keys, natural bathtub toys, wooden animals, little kitchens, waldorf dolls...also check out my blog about saving money, creating things, and natural living
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#48 of 51 Old 11-13-2009, 02:27 AM
 
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Two things:

1) Shoes are vile and evil things.
Amen.

my toy shop on etsy.com: wooden baby keys, natural bathtub toys, wooden animals, little kitchens, waldorf dolls...also check out my blog about saving money, creating things, and natural living
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#49 of 51 Old 12-18-2009, 07:33 AM
 
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So for the past year and a half, I've thought that I was seriously dysfunctional. Me and DH had such high expectations, that the last 18mos has just been a big disappointing, stressful, unhealthy time. Wish I would have found this a long time ago...I started saying last year, about 6 mos in, that I needed a life coach.

Now w/ a 5 yr old and 18 mo old, things are slightly better. 3 d/wk of school has been helpful. But it's still a struggle...and just this week I broke and said I can't handle the pressure anymore, I want to go back to work. BUT this new find of FlyLady or really even this thread has renewed me...I'm not alone. I CAN DO THIS!

The financial strain is also hard to bear. I'm not great with the budget (that's putting it lightly). There is no organization to my life, my home, my budget. WHewww...sounds overwhelming. BUT I love being a mother and spending every moment with my kiddos!
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#50 of 51 Old 12-26-2009, 06:20 PM
 
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I personally enjoyed Flylady's book! IT worked so much better than the website for me. We really were doing well until the holidays (which means Halloween on) which have totally screwed me up. Too much crap on extra counters.

You can do it! Good luck!!!

Welcome to the Real World she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat. Take your life; plot it out in black and white.
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#51 of 51 Old 12-28-2009, 12:31 AM
 
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I subbed to flylady several years ago and liked it pretty well. Of course, I don't have a problem with deleting emails, but some people feel the need to read every one and that boggs you down. I used the subject lines only.. I read the subject of the emails in the morning and made my poda and deleted the emails once they were completed.

I have to say though, the emails and tasks therein were NOT what got my house into shape. It was the decluttering! Decluttering for at least 15minutes a day in whatever zone it was time for really made the difference.

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
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