when people store stuff at your house... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 12:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't be the only one this happens to. I have purged and purged to make my apartment work for me, and now I'm getting tough on the few things people have left here for me to watch over. When my inlaws moved to our state, they brought an above ground pool and a box with its pump. They realized they had no place to store it, and no place to use it. So it ended up in our small storage shed.

The other item I have was once mine. It is a large artificial Christmas tree. I have decided to get rid of it because it's just so huge for the space I live in. I love Christmas but I've come to realize I can decorate in more creative ways and still have actual floor space. Anyway, I am giving it to my older sister. She admired it and it needs a home. But she hasn't gotten the damn thing yet.

So I have all this stuff sitting on my back porch waiting to be gotten rid of. Over this weekend, they WILL be taken to their new owners, lol. Luckily my sil and older sister live very close so we can dump these things on them and say, good luck finding their home! You knew to make room for a while now! LOL.

So I needed to rant about trying to simplify when others are getting in your way. I was hoping to hear some other stories, and I'm sure they'll blow mine out of the water.
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#2 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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You are Sooooo not alone.

Just this weekend, my IL's brought over a CUBE VAN filled with boxes and boxes of books that his mom wanted us to keep. She had written a book a few years ago and had it published on her own dime. She sold a couple dozen here and there through the years but we're talking about a couple of THOUSAND books that she has no intention of selling now and just needs to be trashed or stored. I have no idea what we're supposed to do with them as I didn't want to get involved in the discussion between Dh and his mom. I haven't even ventured into our basement yet to see what it all looks like. I was at the grocery store when they drove up and unloaded everything.

As for my parents, they unloaded a queen sized bed frame and mattress, a upright shoe closet, and a full sized dresser on us. Its been in the basement for 6 years. Luckily for us though, my cousin is moving and is starting from scratch so all the furniture will go to him.

But WTH do I do with 2,000+ books that are all the same??!

Mama to Emma (7) and Sarah (5)

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#3 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 01:40 AM
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heh. no one has ever asked me to. of course, right now, family is holding 30 boxes, a chair and bicycle for us. so, go figure. (btw, i pay a 'carrying fee' to them--$25/mo even though they didn't ask me to.
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#4 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 02:14 AM
 
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about 5 years ago my MIL showed up asking us to store her stuff.. it was everything she owned because she'd been living at a friends house & just that morning (a sunday)her friend told her to get out. 3 truck & trailer loads .

it all went in my husbands shop . a 20X20 metal building with concrete floors that sat about 3 feet from the side of our house.

she tells us shes gonna stay with another friend but there wasent any room for her stuff, just her clothes, and she'll rent a storage unit that week.
3 weeks go by & we dont hear from her.. we had some rain & had a bunch predicted for the weekend, so we get in touch with her & remind her that the building will probably flood (we told her it was prone to flooding.. we lived at the bottom of a hill & because it was my husbands shop.. it wasent an issue we cared to fix.. his shelves had steal legs)
we dont hear from her for 4 months!!!

then winter came. and we got rats. we lived in the country & 1 or 2 was normal.. 10 was not! so.. trying to figure out whats up.. we check the shop (it was so crammed full.. we hadent been in since she'd put her stuff in) & it was infested. rats everywhere. she had boxes with FOOD in there!

we couldnt reach her..she wasent staying with the same friend. we had no idea where she was.
Dh & my oldest SIL & her husband decide to clean it out & move whatever is salvageable to a storage unit my SIL rented.

so. they cleaned it out. they tossed the couches & mattresses cause they where chewed up . pooped & pied on. my sil went thru clothes (i was pregnant & stayed far away from it all!) . thru all the food away.

they scrubbed down tables & dressers in the yard before moving them to the storage unit.

2 months later we hear from her & she acts like she understands.
my SIL offered to help her purchase new couches & mattresses when she gets a place.

3 months later she goes to the furniture store my stepdad works at & he helps her.. we dont think she even knew who he was. but she talked all kinds of smack about her children who threw her furniture away.
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#5 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 02:24 AM
 
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I feel your pain! My BIL has mooched off on us for the last 3 1/2 yrs and everytime he stays he leaves tons of stuff so it just keeps adding up. I have stuff in my basement, garage and upstairs. Everytime he stays I have a talk with him about getting all of his stuff out when he is done staying for the few months he stays and he always agrees, but he is here again, brought more stuff and has never taken ANYTHING when he leaves drives. me. crazy.!

~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.

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#6 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 02:30 AM
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heh. ew.
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#7 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 01:44 PM
 
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I get "dumped on" from several fronts.

The back story - I come from one of those families that, while not hoarders, can't give anything away to anyone who isn't a family member. They would never drop stuff at Goodwill or a thirft organization.

Front #1 - Baby stuff from my aunt. This has since stopped as DS grows but when he was a baby, my aunt would give me all sorts of stuff she saved from my baby years (I am 38) and her kids (all over 30)

These treasures are currently boxed and labelled, waiting to go back to her house.

Front #2 - My mom is always showing up with shopping bags full of "treasures" like my sunglasses from 1984, nail brushes, kitchen items, pictures (as in framed art) When I refuse to accept the items or say I will just throw it out, I can see she gets anxious.

It is amusing because if DH sees her coming up the walk with a bag, he is right there at the door telling her that she is not leaving junk at our house.

Front #3 - My dad has a habit of drive-by, stealth drop offs. My parent's marriage exploded in a very bad way and my mom basically walked out, took what she could load up in one trip and told him to throw away the rest.

My dad can't throw things away. It is all related to a refugee childhood. So he would fill up bags of her stuff and put it on my back porch while I was at work. He knew what he was doing was wrong (and told me so) but he couldn't bring himself to throw the stuff out and she refused to go back home to pick it up.

This has nearly stopped, I haven't gotten a surprise bag in a few months.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#8 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 09:24 PM
 
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In our outbuilding we were storing a bunch of props that belong to a hobby group we are active in. It wasn't a big deal 10 years ago when we agreed to this. It was just a little stuff and only DH and I in our house. Over the years they build more and more items. Now we have two kids and the basement full of our stuff. I realized that if we could put our camping equipment in the outbuilding the basement would be much more manageable. I finally told them they need to get a new place and finding no other volunteers they are going to rent a storage unit.
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#9 of 15 Old 02-11-2010, 10:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caneel View Post
I get "dumped on" from several fronts.

The back story - I come from one of those families that, while not hoarders, can't give anything away to anyone who isn't a family member. They would never drop stuff at Goodwill or a thirft organization.

Front #1 - Baby stuff from my aunt. This has since stopped as DS grows but when he was a baby, my aunt would give me all sorts of stuff she saved from my baby years (I am 38) and her kids (all over 30)

These treasures are currently boxed and labelled, waiting to go back to her house.

Front #2 - My mom is always showing up with shopping bags full of "treasures" like my sunglasses from 1984, nail brushes, kitchen items, pictures (as in framed art) When I refuse to accept the items or say I will just throw it out, I can see she gets anxious.

It is amusing because if DH sees her coming up the walk with a bag, he is right there at the door telling her that she is not leaving junk at our house.

Front #3 - My dad has a habit of drive-by, stealth drop offs. My parent's marriage exploded in a very bad way and my mom basically walked out, took what she could load up in one trip and told him to throw away the rest.

My dad can't throw things away. It is all related to a refugee childhood. So he would fill up bags of her stuff and put it on my back porch while I was at work. He knew what he was doing was wrong (and told me so) but he couldn't bring himself to throw the stuff out and she refused to go back home to pick it up.

This has nearly stopped, I haven't gotten a surprise bag in a few months.
Oh, my gosh. Do you live in Pennsylvania? You might be related to me. My ILs *cannot* give anything away unless absolutely zero family members, friends, or acquaintances cannot use it - in which case it winds up back in their basement until someone can use it. As a result, their house is...packed.

The biggest contention I have ever had with my dh resulted from us (him, really) trying to help them free up some of the room in their house and volunteering to take a few pieces of (old, broken) furniture "that we might be able to use." They gave it to us, and now my dh can't get rid of it (Plan A) because it would hurt his parents' feelings tremendously. I'm bitter about it because I can't stand the furniture and I feel like he's putting his parents' needs above mine; they live 1000 miles away, it's not like they spend a lot of time here. However, we have an antique sewing machine and a mirrored-dressing table still hanging around our house. They have been banished to the garage. I might bring up trying to sell them to pay the kids' tuition next year.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#10 of 15 Old 02-12-2010, 05:54 AM
 
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no one dumps on me, about 5 years ago i enacted a "30 day policy"

if you store anything, and i mean ANYTHING at my house for more than 30 days, it becomes my property to do what i want with. including donating or throwing away.

it took about 6 months and about 20 boxes of donations before my family really got it.

they have not since dropped off a single item that was meant to be stored temporarily, and they also understand that any gifts may be donated at any time.
they dont neccessarily LIKE it, but they UNDERSTAND that this is my policy for sanity.

there are storage companies for a reason, i am not in the business of storing other peoples stuff.
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#11 of 15 Old 02-12-2010, 04:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefulfaith View Post
Oh, my gosh. Do you live in Pennsylvania? You might be related to me. My ILs *cannot* give anything away unless absolutely zero family members, friends, or acquaintances cannot use it - in which case it winds up back in their basement until someone can use it. As a result, their house is...packed.

The biggest contention I have ever had with my dh resulted from us (him, really) trying to help them free up some of the room in their house and volunteering to take a few pieces of (old, broken) furniture "that we might be able to use." They gave it to us, and now my dh can't get rid of it (Plan A) because it would hurt his parents' feelings tremendously. I'm bitter about it because I can't stand the furniture and I feel like he's putting his parents' needs above mine; they live 1000 miles away, it's not like they spend a lot of time here. However, we have an antique sewing machine and a mirrored-dressing table still hanging around our house. They have been banished to the garage. I might bring up trying to sell them to pay the kids' tuition next year.
Ha! Ha! We might be able to use....could be my family's moto!

Years back, DH and my dad were in Dad's garage (4 car garage, filled to the rafters) and DH spots a Danish modern style wooden chair and comments on it. Of course it came home with us (I do really like it) and my dad STILL brings up the fact that DH found something good in the garage, therefore everything in the garage must be good.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#12 of 15 Old 02-14-2010, 04:02 AM
 
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I'm currently storing an entire kitchen worth of brand new never installed cabinets in my basement. They've been there since last summer, and won't leave until at least this summer. To be fair-- my father has been off work with a serious injury, so he can't install them.... but he knew this when he bought them-- and still did it. And since it's an injury preventing him from installing them, I feel guilty giving him an ultimatum.

However-- it's still better than the 8 extra extra large rubbermaid totes of my MIL's we have sitting beside the cabinet. They were moved to our house after my husband's aunt told his mother to come get the stuff. It's been approximately 10 years since she's opened them.

They contain fake flowers, tubs of buttons purchased through the shopping channel, and fabric remanents.

But we're not allowed to throw them out...

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#13 of 15 Old 02-14-2010, 02:29 PM
 
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Now I feel bad. My mom is storing a few of my things until we move. (2 weeks) But it's all stuff I need (I don't keep ANYTHING we don't need/use!) so I will definitely be going back for it once we've moved.
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#14 of 15 Old 02-14-2010, 06:00 PM
 
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People who know us would be afraid to leave things here!!! I declutter frequently and their stuff would be fair game, too!

Hired workers (which we don't actually have that often since we DIY the majority) tend to leave items behind frequently. I think every single person we've hired has left SOMETHING behind. Hose and sprayer, which we tried to return, but he never returned our call. NICE flashlight and we didn't know the guy or his company (during major flood crisis). Box cutter. Hammer. Random lunch containers. All were either passed around to someone else who needed them in our neighborhood co-op or we kept or recycled.

When we had a major flood, we stored our belongings in three neighbors' homes and our upstairs until the dry-out and reconstruction was finished in each room. One neighbor had the items from our storage closet in their living room/hallway. That was the first area we got back together, so we got those out of their place ASAP. They were so kind and easy-going even though their home is always neat and orderly and loosely filled. Another neighbor had our recliner in their living room with a sheet over it (they have a dog, two cats, and a toddler). They were the most antsy and our living room was the third space we got back together. Ironically, we share the most items back and forth with this family. The third neighbor is my dad and he lives the furthest away, but has the most unused space. We had all the larger, more random items at his house. (We kept all the little things in our own house and shoved them wherever possible upstairs. Our house looked like a refugee camp.) We collected the big items from Dad as we could put them directly away, but the second room we finished contained most of the items at his house and we had to use that room as the staging area for most of our renovations. So, that stuff stayed at his house the longest even though that room was finished right after the storage closet.

From the day of the flood (ankle-deep water flowing through the main level of our home; all flooring removed; all walls cut; etc) to the day our house was back in order (picture-ready) was 9 weeks. We were motivated to get everything done!

Storing someone else's stuff for TEN YEARS would soooooo not fly with me.

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa

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#15 of 15 Old 02-15-2010, 01:01 AM
 
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Sunny, workers always leave stuff here, too! Our roof was replaced this winter, and they left a super nice ladder here for 2 weeks. Dh was ready to keep it if they didn't come and get it, and they finally did.
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