I don't have any excuses in legacy. My mom was pretty clean. She didn't make it into torture either, our house was clean though not a museum. We could live in it. She did teach me to clean up after myself, she didn't wait on me either.
It's my husband! He's a slob in many ways, and basically I decided I'd rather not expend any effort he does not. For example, I was raised to always rinse out my dishes and the sink. Let's say I had a bowl of cereal, I didn't have to wash it myself (my dad usually took on dish duty) but I needed to dump any excess and rinse it out and put it in the dishpan and rinse the sink so it wouldn't crust up. That all makes perfect sense. My DH, however, does not (for the record, he took on dish duty himself). He'll just dump a plate or bowl or cup in the sink without doing a darn thing. We have a white sink and it is soooo stained from tea bags and coffee just poured out but not rinsed away and so on. Asking my DH to change his ways does not go over well, so I had a choice - constantly be on his case and destroy the marriage, stew in silence and let him be a slob while I resented my extra effort, or just let it go and not do anything more than him. Of course I could be a much better person than I am, and do my part without expecting him to do his. Maybe I'll get there. For now, I have chosen to match his slobbery and it works pretty well for me in terms of not straining the marriage or making me resentful
I just realized, I wasn't clear about something. My DH does clean. Like I said, he does the dishes and he also sweeps and mops and so on. He's not "lazy." It's more that he doesn't do the little things throughout the day that would make the house so much more presentable all the time with minimal effort. Instead, we act like slobs and then spend a lot of concentrated effort trying to keep up with it, and it always gets away from us.
I do worry about the legacy that will pass to DD. So this is a good thread for me to think about. Maybe it's time for me to grow up and start doing my part without expecting DH to do the same. Maybe DH might actually start doing it, especially if I didn't expect him to. Maybe I can teach DD the best way to not be overwhelmed even if her father doesn't do the same things. Maybe it will actually even teach her better - she can see the two ways for herself.