Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: VT (zone 5)
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"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa
Thanks, these are all good ideas to consider.
We are not in a hurry to kick the girls out of our bedroom, but after twelve continuous years of sharing our room with kids who are becoming increasingly savvy, DH is really wishing for some privacy for us. I am thinking that when our oldest DD starts showing signs of puberty, that will be the right time, and it makes sense to move both girls out together. They would be happy to have a "girls room" if they had the chance, but their desire for a room of their own isn't the primary factor.
We have three separate living spaces in part because of how our house is laid out and also because we homeschool, so it's six of us home together just about all day every day, doing various different activities, with some introverts in the mix. The small bedrooms are too small for almost anything but sleeping/clothes.
Also the rec room is mostly taken up by DH's baby, a 9' pool table, which is the main thing limiting the options down there...and it's not going away. I am going to think more about how that space can be rearranged, at least around the edges of the room. Maybe cubicle walls would work! I like those room dividers, but I think we would try for something homemade/less spendy.
I think moving our bed into the office would be the least complicated change, and then I suppose it will evolve as we figure out what doesn't work...
But it would also be fantastic to be able to continue having a dedicated room as the office.
So here is the other question in my mind: Is it appropriate to have boys and girls sharing a big bedroom? At what age(s) does that become inappropriate? I don't have a problem with it in theory, but I don't want to make my kids uncomfortable, and especially because we homeschool, I don't want to be in a situation where someone might do a well-meaning investigation and end up penalizing us for our unconventional choices. Of course they could tell us whether they were uncomfortable, but I know they would not like the idea anyway (my oldest is very private about his "space" and stuff, and sharing a room with just his brother is hard for him).
We do have an uninsulated garage, but I think the renovation work might be too much for us. We will consider it though.
It now seems very unlikely that we will move anytime while the kids are still living with us. For a variety of reasons it has ceased to be an option (it was our plan until recently). So this is the house we need to make the most of.
I like the idea of asking the kids what they think, and I will do that, but I want to get clear about my own thoughts first.
Honestly, I think having girls as old as yours in your bedroom will throw up as many red flags w/CPS as having boys/girls share a room.
I think family bedrooms are awesome! If/when we ever build our dream house it will have a huge one. Either one huge boys and one huge girls, or just one huge one for everyone
CPS (ie mainstream thinking) wouldnt agree with probably one single parenting choice I have made so far. So I dont base my choices on what they would think. I'd rather be a good mom now than be a bad one because Im afraid of CPS and just because the mainstream doesnt like my parenting style.