Messy Moms help thread (dads and others too!) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 122 Old 10-15-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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So, I rarely use plastic grocery bags, but occasionally I forget and end up with some. Someone give me permission to throw them away. They're taking over my under-the-sink cabinet and the trunk of my car waiting for me to take them to the store recycling box.
use them to hold other garbage you're ditching

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#62 of 122 Old 10-15-2010, 10:15 PM
 
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this is a great thread...subbing!

Loving wife to DH and buddamomimg1.pngmama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12)

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#63 of 122 Old 10-16-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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I've been doing the "just throw it out" thing... which feels awkward to me. I threw out a bunch of stuff, but man, throwing out books? Just feels wrong. I don't know what else to do with them, though...
I always donate my books to the local independent used book store. They technically have a buy back program, but I always just give the books to them. I figure it helps them and me and it's better than throwing them out.
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#64 of 122 Old 10-16-2010, 08:39 PM
 
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Everytime I am about to save something and start to think, "I can do such and such with that" then I remeber that I am not that kind of person and into the donate pile it goes. I figure when I declutter enough, I will have time to the the types of projects that I actually will do, not the imaginary ones I like to think I will do.

Let them sleep in the middle, Let them be little
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#65 of 122 Old 10-16-2010, 09:24 PM
 
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Plastic grocery bags:

1) Reuse for trash
2) Throw things in to donate
3. when you take stuff to donate, give them a bag full of plastic bags too, they use them when people buy stuff.
4) Not sure about in the States, but in Australia there are usually plastic bag recycling bins outside large supermarkets.

SAHM to three
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#66 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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I'm bumping this...where's our motivator?? Cmon GearGirl, keep us going

I never did get that stuff listed on Craigslist. With DSS appearing out of the blue and life getting crazy very quickly, I just couldn't make time for it.

So I donated it. They just came and picked it all up this morning. And I'm torn because I could've gotten a few hundred dollars out of it all. But honestly I've held onto it for years and never made it happen...so....ugh.

But it's gone And it's freeing up so much space! How's everyone else doing, and where on earth is GG?

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#67 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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theoretica, yay! i bet it felt good to let that stuff go.

i'm doing the 20/20 home cure (apartment therapy) - it's 20 minutes a day for 20 days. i like it because i like having a clear assignment. today is only day three.

i'm doing pretty well keeping up with my house, but there are a couple of decluttering and deep cleaning projects i want to do. on week nights, i only have time and energy to do my daily stuff and i usually then go to bed with my kids (or if i get back out of bed, it's only to take a bath and then go to sleep). weekends are when i get down to business on the big projects, but our weekends have been insanely busy lately and that's not going to change in the near future. i feel like i just need to force myself to stay up until midnight one of these nights - that would give me 3+ hours to work kid-free. i will be tired the next day, but it would be soooooooo worth it!

geargirl, we need you!
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#68 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 06:20 PM
 
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So what do you do when you realize your home is too big? I have so many places to put clutter out of sight, out of mind, it is driving me mad! There is only 3 of us, soon to be 4, and we have about 2100sqft of livable space, which doesn't include the basement(little clutter only because most of it got ruined, i sold it or moved it up to the unfinished room over the garage (another clutter collector, which is the size of our double garage, but is not nearly full or anything. There is a closet that is full of mostly baby/kids stuff, a big one and some other items spilling out, then our garage, which is home to our van and dh's pool table and misc boxes and stuff that probably needs to be chucked. I've been watching hoarders on netflix, I don't even want to ever be like any of those homes, so I am trying to Work on clutter collector spots, most the livable home is open and fairly clutter free with a few exceptions, but i don't even like clutter in the places i rarely go these days, Someone motivate me!

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#69 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 06:25 PM
 
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theoretica, yay! i bet it felt good to let that stuff go.

i'm doing the 20/20 home cure (apartment therapy) - it's 20 minutes a day for 20 days. i like it because i like having a clear assignment. today is only day three.

i'm doing pretty well keeping up with my house, but there are a couple of decluttering and deep cleaning projects i want to do. on week nights, i only have time and energy to do my daily stuff and i usually then go to bed with my kids (or if i get back out of bed, it's only to take a bath and then go to sleep). weekends are when i get down to business on the big projects, but our weekends have been insanely busy lately and that's not going to change in the near future. i feel like i just need to force myself to stay up until midnight one of these nights - that would give me 3+ hours to work kid-free. i will be tired the next day, but it would be soooooooo worth it!

geargirl, we need you!
I hate cleaning if dh or ds is sleeping, i don't like making noise, i know i shouldn't care, but i rarely stay up late to clean, but if i get up 1 hour or so earlier than them sometimes i'll do some quiet cleaning, like folding laundry or sweeping or something, but i suppose going through a few of the boxes in the closet is not really noisy since neither of them are in that room. I will try to do that sometime when i am awake and no one else is.

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#70 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 06:46 PM
 
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I was reminded of this thread when I dropped off a bag of dd's old clothes today in the donation bin. (Lucky for me, there's one just a block from my home and I walk past all the time.)
I looked at the Apartment THerapy site and it seems very do-able! Not at all intimidating! I think I might join in and try to direct some of my not-very-effective nesting efforts.
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#71 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 07:01 PM
 
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my kids are heavy sleepers so i don't need to worry about waking them up. no man to worry about. actually, when stbx was around, i couldn't get ANYTHING done if he was home/awake!! i did the bulk of my housework from 7am to noon saturday & sunday while his lazy ass slept in. i used to resent him sleeping in, until i realized how pleasant and productive my weekend mornings were - so i would turn on my favorite music and bust it out!

i always *want* to get up early and do housework while my kid sleep, but once it's actually time to get up, i don't feel like it. or it seems like the house is too quiet - i think my kids are lighter sleepers as it gets close to their wake-up time, too, and if they wake up then they will be crabby. bleh!
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#72 of 122 Old 10-20-2010, 07:03 PM
 
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I do my best cleaning when DH can get the Littles out of the house and the big kids and I can get productive. I'm trying to get him to do that again, he used to do it once a week and it really helped me.

I do really think there's that guilt of letting go of the crap I shouldn't have acquired in the first place. So we need some guilt absolution in a bottle or something, that'll help

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#73 of 122 Old 10-21-2010, 02:29 PM
 
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i like the concept that the mistake happened at the point of acquisition. it already happened! you have nothing to feel guilty about when you correct the mistake and let it go. actually, in a sense, you continue making the mistake every day that you hang on to the item.
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#74 of 122 Old 10-21-2010, 04:04 PM
 
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i like the concept that the mistake happened at the point of acquisition. it already happened! you have nothing to feel guilty about when you correct the mistake and let it go. actually, in a sense, you continue making the mistake every day that you hang on to the item.
I love this! This thread is so helpful to me.
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#75 of 122 Old 10-21-2010, 08:58 PM
 
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i like the concept that the mistake happened at the point of acquisition. it already happened! you have nothing to feel guilty about when you correct the mistake and let it go. actually, in a sense, you continue making the mistake every day that you hang on to the item.
Good way to think about it.

Let them sleep in the middle, Let them be little
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#76 of 122 Old 10-22-2010, 03:49 AM
 
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it's crayfish wisdom, at least the first part.
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#77 of 122 Old 10-22-2010, 04:20 AM
 
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I'm bumping this...where's our motivator?? Cmon GearGirl, keep us going
Maybe she took up my suggestion and is busy writing a book!

SAHM to three
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#78 of 122 Old 10-22-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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I NEED this thread:
I'm a practitioner of the "broom method" and the "pile method". This is where I arrive at my breaking point, grab the broom, and sweep everything that is laying around- dirty clothes, garbage, toys, etc, into one huge pile. Then it gets sorted through. Dirty clothes go in the pile in the hallway for dirty clothes.
Toys go into the toy pile. Everything that doesn't have a home goes into the pile for things that don't have a home. And then I go sit in a corner, and twitch, uncontrollably.

I have to admit, it's not working all that well. Looking forward to hearing more of these wonderful, revolutionary ideas of yours!
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#79 of 122 Old 10-22-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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What about those odd, random things that don't have a specific place? What then? I do GREAT with categorizing, but these damned little things that have importance yet not enough to have their own PLACE...GRRRR!!!

Any ideas?

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#80 of 122 Old 10-22-2010, 05:56 PM
 
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What about those odd, random things that don't have a specific place? What then? I do GREAT with categorizing, but these damned little things that have importance yet not enough to have their own PLACE...GRRRR!!!

Any ideas?
such as?
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#81 of 122 Old 10-25-2010, 06:28 AM
 
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What about those odd, random things that don't have a specific place? What then? I do GREAT with categorizing, but these damned little things that have importance yet not enough to have their own PLACE...GRRRR!!!

Any ideas?
We keep old biscuit tins for these things..those tall tins that used to hold long wafer biscuits, they are perfect for putting random bits and pieces in that have no particular place to go.

I have another tin for keeping bits that I know go with a certain set or toy, but can't locate the rest of it at that moment!

SAHM to three
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#82 of 122 Old 10-25-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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such as?
I'll make a list and post it!

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#83 of 122 Old 10-27-2010, 08:23 PM
 
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Subbing in the hopes of getting into the spirit and suddenly becoming a neat person.

Vira, mom to Sophia (06/08) and step-mom to Vlad (09/98)
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#84 of 122 Old 10-27-2010, 09:50 PM
 
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Neat person or not, decluttering is so much of the solution!
Less stuff=less crap that needs cleaning/organizing/schlepping around.

Watching this thread, I'm thinking that there is definitely some variation from one household to the next as to what constitues clutter. In our house, books are not negotiable, so building a huge bookcase was one of the first things we did when we bought our house. (Now that we've outgrown it, though, decluttering is about culling the ones we don't need so that the best ones all fit on the shelves...)
Cloth diapers were not a problem. We had a system, and it worked. Same with mama cloth. (I also use cloth wipes myself for pee for 3/4 of the month but that's only me, so it works out fine- anything beyond that would not work so we don't try)

Luckily it's easy giving away stuff here- we have to truck our trash and recycling ourselves, so we always bring along boxes of books and toys and kitchen gadgets and ____, and bags of clothes and sheets and blankets and towels and _____ to drop off in the free room whenever we go. I always have an empty box downstairs, and a bag upstairs, ready for stuff so that whenever I find myself holding something that could leave the house, I can take a few steps and shove it into the bag- and never look back again! Back when we were really snowed in with stuff (MIL sold her house and swamped us with a tsunami of brickabrack) I had one of those cheap plastic shopping bags on every doorknob in the house. They filled up quickly, once it became so easy to cull stuff from the piles everywhere.

I'm shivering thinking about Christmas coming up. In DH's huge family, it's all about junky quantity over quality. It has gotten better very gradually, but by this time of year, we're scrambling to come up with ideas to suggest when they ask us what the kids would like for Christmas (and DD's birthday very soon) We'd love a bunch of museum memberships, but everybody wants to have something fun wrapped in a box that they can watch the kids unwrap. I can't blame them, I just feel badly for my kids overwhelmed with stuff. They can't help but get attached to stuff, but then they drown in the massive volume of it all. Luckily my younger fella is pretty open to letting go of toys and clothes. It's time for yet another purge.

Just wanted to give a to the poster whose DP is messy- that's us!
I like things organized. Not bleached-scrubbed-sterile, but reasonably organized.
Comfy dignity is all I ask for.
DH, on the other hand, is worse than a #$% teenager/puppy/tornado. After ten years of marriage, I'm having a very hard time keeping my motivation to carry out 95% of this work. The house has been a wreck for a couple of years, and I think the mess is actually worse for my mental health than the single-handed cleaning was. So now I'm trying to dig out of it, and the job is incredibly daunting. I try to pick tiny areas and do them one at a time. We homeschool, so I have plenty of chances, in small doses, throughout the day. I pick one drawer, and sometimes that one drawer takes all day (in the small doses) I pick one part of a big desktop, and set the tone for where future stuff will go for that area. It's happening in tiny baby steps, but any progress feels better than none.
Also, we do better with the whole nag/resist/nag/lash-out cycle when we give jobs a schedule. We made the schedule together, and now certain things happen on certain days of the week. Sometimes we kick butt, sometimes we only make small gains, but at least we're sharing the work (and the kids too) and spending energy improving things rather than bickering with each other

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#85 of 122 Old 10-28-2010, 11:35 PM
 
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Well. I've emailed GearGirl and haven't heard back, I hope she's ok! After reading her amazing enthusiasm and motivating encouragement, I've decided we need to keep this thread going In Absentia so she can see the awesomeness that she has started once she returns

I have donated the captains bed, the queen bed, the desk, the mattress set, the rocking chair, and several bags of clothes. All was supposed to go on craigslist but I A) have held onto it for YEARS, so it's driving me nuts and taking up useful space and B) I gave myself a deadline of 7 days to get it sold and gone, and I didn't even have the time to get it listed. Since life is genuinely THAT crazy, it's no wonder I never get 'around to it'.

Oh. That reminds me. Ladies, I present to you all....

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...pictureid=1931



Let's get moving, no more excuses, make GearGirl proud of us!!!

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#86 of 122 Old 10-29-2010, 03:26 AM
 
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Since life is genuinely THAT crazy, it's no wonder I never get 'around to it'.

Oh. That reminds me. Ladies, I present to you all....

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...pictureid=1931



Let's get moving, no more excuses, make GearGirl proud of us!!!
Theoretica, I love it!

I'm subscribing to this thread, it's awesome! I am a messy person. Some might even say a slob. But the arrival of my 2nd child just over a month ago seems to be motivating me to be better. Well the arrival of my first did bring about a bit more organization and 'doing' on my part, but now I just don't feel like theres time to ever do a huge cleanup if I let things go for awhile, so I've sort of been keeping on top of it. Sort of... I've been doing dishes daily (twice even!) and tidying, cleaning floors and SLOWLY decluttering. This thread is inspiring me. I want to super declutter. I am bogged down by the constant laundry, and we already have too many toys and ds isn't even 2! Today I was cleaning out a closet and found a reusable shopping bag full of garbage from christmas, like ends of wrapping paper and scraps from craft-making, just trash. I was appalled, and I'm probably the one that shoved it top of ds' closet!
Anyway, great thread. And if gear girl is off writing a book, I hope she posts us a few snippets sometime!

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keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.

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#87 of 122 Old 10-29-2010, 10:01 AM
 
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LOL! I love it!

Can I put mine on hold-- cuz I've got a really nasty cold or sinus infection or something right now. My house it falling apart, but I can't get up the energy to do much more than the dishes.

Mom to: Honey (6/04) and Bunny (9/09)
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#88 of 122 Old 10-29-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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This thread super inspied me. I was so happy the other day that the house was suddenly a mess but I was able to clean it up fairly quickly because of all the decluttering work I have been doing.

Let them sleep in the middle, Let them be little
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#89 of 122 Old 10-30-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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Read the whole thread. Will post my own story sometime (it aint pretty).

Watched many episodes of Hoarders last night, in the middle of the night. Couldn't stop. I am not a hoarder, far from it. I'm more on the overwhelmed-messy side of things. Dh is actually the one who can't let go. A Sponge Bob lunchbox from Goodwill that nobody's laid eyes on for at least a year, until I threw it in the garbage this morning? Yep, dh sees that as traitorous (if that's a word). But my messiness falls into the not-okay side, on a level where dd WILL start to become embarrassed bringing friends over; or worse, she'll think this is normal.

Today, I scrubbed all the kitchen cupboards after smelling something REALLY bad. One tiny room is sparkly.

One problem I have is being clueless on follow-through. Specifically this morning, I noticed the shelf paper is literally peeling and falling apart. It cannot be cleaned properly and could easily hide an infestation someday.

Dh agrees it needs to be replaced, but predictably asked me to leave it "for now." I have NO IDEA how to buy, size and cut-to-fit new tack/shelf paper. I am 42 years old. How can I NOT be able to figure this out? I feel like such a child. I WANT TO GROW UP!!!!!! Other people seem to know how to do simple things like this and I want to be one of them. I want to know how to really keep a house happy, without making clean up time something scary and all-consuming.

This has to be my number one priority pretty much for the next year.
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#90 of 122 Old 10-30-2010, 01:48 PM
 
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One problem I have is being clueless on follow-through. Specifically this morning, I noticed the shelf paper is literally peeling and falling apart. It cannot be cleaned properly and could easily hide an infestation someday.

Dh agrees it needs to be replaced, but predictably asked me to leave it "for now." I have NO IDEA how to buy, size and cut-to-fit new tack/shelf paper. I am 42 years old. How can I NOT be able to figure this out? I feel like such a child. I WANT TO GROW UP!!!!!! Other people seem to know how to do simple things like this and I want to be one of them. I want to know how to really keep a house happy, without making clean up time something scary and all-consuming.
Re: the shelf liners: You can do it one of three ways. Scrape out the old stuff and leave a bare shelf. (I never have understood the purpose of shelf liners.) Or measure the inside of one shelf, multiply two adjoining sides to get the square inches, then multiply that by the number of shelves you have (if they are all the same size). Then buy as many rolls as you need to cover that many square feet, plus some. Cut the rolls into the right size pieces using a straight edge and a utility knife, then scrape out the old stuff and stick on the new. Way three is a little less planned. Pick up a bunch of rolls in a pattern that the store has a lot of just in case you need to get more. Then come home and measure and cut each liner using a straight edge and a utility knife. Scrape, stick, and repeat. Then return any unused rolls or run to the store and hope they still have some left if you didn't buy enough.

If it's overwhelming just tackle one shelf at a time. I'd start with the highest shelves, so as you learn as you go you don't have to look at the mistakes every single day.

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