One small victory to share - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 12-01-2010, 11:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Today I achieved something that gives me hope for the future. I said no to my DS about buying a toy at the hospital.  He was very sick as a young child, which has meant continued hospital checkups for the last 6 years, so every time we have a 6 monthly checkup, I have always allowed him to buy a toy at the hospital gift store.

 

However something has changed since his last 6 monthly checkup, and that is that I have joined this forum and thrown out a grand total of 4000 things. So my whole mindset has changed, and I now shudder at the thought of buying a cheap plastic toy which I know will either break very soon or will clutter up our house.

 

It wasn't easy saying no...a little voice in the back of my head was saying "Hey you mean mum, let him have his toy, he just had a nasty blood test that hurt..." but some part of my brain persisted in saying "No, I am not buying you a toy which you don't need", and in the face of his continued protests, I just continued to say firmly "You don't need it!"  I even noticed some admiring glances from other mothers in the store, who I could feel were rooting for me to win the fight. lol.gif

 

Anyway finally he got the message and backed down, to my astonishment!  So I learned something today, that I don't have to give in to keep the peace.

 

I feel more confident now that I won't be continuing to buy things we don't need, spending money unnecessarily. Just wanted to share! thumb.gif

amyandelle and Juvysen like this.

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#2 of 11 Old 12-02-2010, 07:00 AM
 
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Not only have you learnt the lesson that buying something thats not needed is the root cause of clutter, you are starting to teach your child that buying something isn't the cure or way for making pain go away or to make himself feel better! Thats a really important lesson to learn!!

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#3 of 11 Old 12-02-2010, 08:44 AM
 
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Good for you! thumb.gif

It's not always easy to say no, especially when there's some mommy-guilt about something thrown into the mix.  I am super guilty of this but I am trying so hard to be better, it does get easier, although...I don't always stick to my guns, it's a work in progress!

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#4 of 11 Old 12-03-2010, 09:06 AM
 
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Whoo hoo!  Good for both of you!


"Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"~Mary Oliver

RT knitting mama  to 3 (& 8 who didn't make it) wife working on 13 years to a silly man who drives me crazy.
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#5 of 11 Old 12-03-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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Yay!! Good for you :)

 

If he's going continue to need frequent checkups, maybe you & DS can think of a non-material 'gift' for after his checkups -- baking cookies together, reading a few books, stopping by his favorite park on the way home, etc. -- something to offer him some special comfort after the ordeal without spending money or accumulating clutter.


Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#6 of 11 Old 12-03-2010, 07:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post

If he's going continue to need frequent checkups, maybe you & DS can think of a non-material 'gift' for after his checkups -- baking cookies together, reading a few books, stopping by his favorite park on the way home, etc. -- something to offer him some special comfort after the ordeal without spending money or accumulating clutter.



Fortunately that was the last of his six monthly checks, and now we are on to yearly checkups, so don't have to go back till next December! biggrinbounce.gif

 

He had liver cancer as a toddler, but fortunately he is in remission. thumb.gif

 

That is a good idea about offering a non-material gift, and in fact this week I did take his scooter so we could stop by the park on the way home, but he was too tired, as the checkups take quite a few hours, including waiting time..as he has to see the oncologist, get weighed, measured and examined, have a blood test in a different part of the hospital, then we have to walk across the hospital again to audiology for his hearing test. Phew...I feel tired just writing that, sure am glad it is over till next year!


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#7 of 11 Old 12-22-2010, 12:19 AM
 
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After the dentist we always go out to eat - just fast food - just for a snack, but the kids look forward to it - my mom did it for me and my brother when we were little, I hated the dentist - still do - but always looked forward to Taco Bell afterward. :D


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#8 of 11 Old 12-22-2010, 12:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e13lorena View Post

After the dentist we always go out to eat - just fast food - just for a snack, but the kids look forward to it - my mom did it for me and my brother when we were little, I hated the dentist - still do - but always looked forward to Taco Bell afterward. :D


Oh I agree a nice meal as a reward is good....we always go for toasted Turkish sandwiches afterwards. Glad we are no longer going to bring home stuff from the gift shop though.


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#9 of 11 Old 12-22-2010, 10:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by clutterwarrior View Post

He had liver cancer as a toddler, but fortunately he is in remission. thumb.gif

 


Sorry to sort of jump off topic...

 

But was it hepatoblastoma?  If it was...any history of colon cancer in either yours or his dad's families?

 

Congrats on the remission!


"Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"~Mary Oliver

RT knitting mama  to 3 (& 8 who didn't make it) wife working on 13 years to a silly man who drives me crazy.
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#10 of 11 Old 12-28-2010, 03:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coyotemist View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by clutterwarrior View Post

He had liver cancer as a toddler, but fortunately he is in remission. thumb.gif

 


Sorry to sort of jump off topic...

 

But was it hepatoblastoma?  If it was...any history of colon cancer in either yours or his dad's families?

 

Congrats on the remission!


Yes it was Hepatoblastoma Stage 3.  And yes we have a history of colon cancer on both sides of the family; but primarily on DH's side.

 


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#11 of 11 Old 12-29-2010, 01:05 AM
 
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First, Im glad your son is in remission and that he doesn't have to go back for another year. It must be a relief..

 

Second, I need you to remind me of that next thing that happens that hurts one of the girls (last one was last year when DD1 fractured one of her teeth two days before Christmas and had to have it extracted on Christmas eve, poor thing!) since I feel I "need" to do something to make it up for them. Doesn't help my mom ALWAYS use to get us a small toy/present anytime we had a doctors appointment so I have the voice in the back of my head "your mom did it, you aren't being a good mom because you aren't" etc. Next time I think Ill stick with a trip to the library, it would mean more to them anyway since they are book crazy.


~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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