I can't handle the stuff anymore... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 01-20-2011, 07:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It is my DD's birthday today.  It should be a happy, exciting day.  Instead I sit her in tears at the mound of CRAP that is lying on the floor - from opening gifts fro, just ONE person (my mother).  I just.can't take it anymore.  I seriously feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  I am drowning in all of this stuff.  I've been decluttering - but most of it has been my stuff or household stuff no one else can stand.to get rid of anything.  We still have a birthday party and more gifts from friends and family coming.  I just want everything in this house gone.  Or to run away by myself with one suitcase of clothing...  What has happened with society?  Where has this maniacal need for stuff, stuff and more stuff come from???

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#2 of 14 Old 01-20-2011, 08:04 AM
 
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Your feelings are completely understandable. Not sure what else to say that will help.  Maybe someone else will have some ideas or more comforting words.

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#3 of 14 Old 01-20-2011, 08:12 AM
 
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BEEN THERE!!


Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#4 of 14 Old 01-20-2011, 08:18 AM
 
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Hugs.

 

Just keep getting rid of it as you have been.  It is tough but it completely is worth it.  I have a box always ready in a spare area in my home that I constantly add too, especially when new things come into the house.  There was a thread here awhile back that challenged and inspired me to purge 50 things in a week.  I challenged DH to do it (he is the pack-rat) and his response was "50?  We won't have anything!" but he was surprised to see how easy it was and how much crap we still have. 

 

I have been working on de-cluttering for quite some time and we have 1 closet and a outside storage closet left.    We took 2 totes to the local shelter (mainly new stuff) that DS just doesn't play with.  He has just a few things now and seems to play more now with his things. 

 

I too feel that our society is CRAZY!  The need to BUY, BUY, BUY is nuts to me but I was one of those folks not too long ago (prior to DS).  I think folks that tend to buy to much for their kids or themselves are making up for something they are neglecting or needing in their lives...  KWIM?


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#5 of 14 Old 01-20-2011, 09:17 AM
 
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I completely understand. This Christmas, my kids got tons of gifts from my ILs. So many that they didn't care that I'd stashed several of them in a closet.  I'm still deciding what to do with them. I'll either save some to give as birthday gifts to little friends or I'll sell them.  


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#6 of 14 Old 01-20-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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IDK how old your DD is but if she is still 'little'  you can put the toys up for later and do a toy rotation type of thing.  My son is 10 and he is great about getting rid of things. For the holidays some of the stuff went right to the donation bins.  He also asks for activitys, memberships and things like that.  For awhile, probably ages 5-8 or so art supplies were a huge present, they were consumable and didnt last very long.

Honestly- its a present, if you dont want it around, dont keep it, donate the toy, take it to a resale shoppe, list it on craigslist etc...  you dont owe the giver anything.

 

BTW  happy birthday to your DD>


Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

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#7 of 14 Old 01-22-2011, 01:03 PM
 
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I just went through this at Christmas.

 

Many of the gifts went straight in a 'return' pile. Things that were already opened went in a donate pile. Things we wanted DS to keep (he's not quite 2, so he doesn't really care yet), we kept, but we got rid of old toys in their place so everything could remain organized.

 

It's tough because it feels rude/wasteful/ungrateful -- at least that's how I felt -- but we were all much happier when we were done and we had our house back. I decided that my family's happiness in our own home was more important than someone seeing DS play with their gift during their once-every-few-months visit. Maybe that makes me cruel, but I didn't see any other options.

 

Of course, his birthday is around the corner (and we have requested no gifts so I'm crossing my fingers that we don't have to do the whole purge thing again!!)

 

I wish I understood why everyone feels the need to BUY BUY BUY... *sigh* it makes me so sad.


Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#8 of 14 Old 01-22-2011, 01:22 PM
 
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I understand.  I just went through my daughters' room and purged a big garbage bag full.  My main gripe is items with little pieces.  They constantly get lost. I ended up sweeping a bunch of little pieces strait into the trash.  My husband is a big packrat, so I have to be careful that he doesn't see what gets thrown away.  I usually tie up the trash and take it outside before he starts taking things out.

 

I have talked to grandparents before about not getting them too much for christmas, but they love seeing the kids open things up. so, the buy little junky trinkets so they can open lots of things.  A lot of it was makeup that we ended up trashing.  The ingredients were horrible.


Wendy - mom to dd1(11), dd2(7), dd3(3)
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#9 of 14 Old 01-23-2011, 04:30 PM
 
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I think the January birthdays are harder because they're so close after the frenzy that is Christmas. This year, before Christmas I had my kids go through their toys and get rid of things by telling them it was so they'd have space for the new toys at Christmas. They did it! Maybe not as much as I would have hoped, but just the fact that they got rid of stuff helped *me* feel less cramped, I think. Anyway, dd's birthday was the 11th, an I still feel like I can breathe! I definitely plan to make this an annual thing.

Jenna ~ mommy to Sophia Elise idea.gif  (1/06), Oliver Matthew  blahblah.gif (7/07) and Avery Michael fly-by-nursing1.gif(3/10)

 

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#10 of 14 Old 05-05-2011, 03:38 PM
 
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I know how you feel! We have 3 people in a small one bedroom apartment and how much STUFF we have drives me crazy sometimes. DS has an absurd number of toys from his grandparents. A lot of them are mainstream brand name toys, or noise making toys purchased before DSs hearing loss was diagnosed. I've decided recently to list and try to sell most of them on ebay and craigslist, and use the $ we make from the sales to buy DS needed things like diapers (and a couple waldorf toys that will actually be played with.)


  slingtwin.gif Mummy to DS1, 3, hola.gif twins DD and DS2, and wife to DH asl.gif

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#11 of 14 Old 05-06-2011, 08:02 AM
 
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Sounds like we have the same ILs!!  I'm a very minimalist type and my MIL has the mentality that "more is better."  We have done the toy rotation and we still have too many to keep.  I feel bad about getting rid of so many toys she has given us, but we simply don't have room for them all.  DH and I stopped buying the kids stuff for gifts and instead we do experiences, but there's still too much.  I just set aside 2 HUGE boxes of toys to give away.  If neither child asks for a toy in the box in the next couple weeks they are all getting donated (and I think I could still get rid of more!). 

 

I keep trying to hint that we don't need more stuff, but I think that only encourages her to buy more. 


Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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#12 of 14 Old 05-06-2011, 05:01 PM
 
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My IL are the same way but I think I found away to stop it. I have now started to keep the massive amount of toys they buy for my daughter at their house for when we visits. After Easter I heard a mummbled complaint about how many toys there were but I just explained that our house is even smaller so we cant keep bringing the toys home. I personally dont think kids should even get toys for Easter. By keeping the toys at the IL's house it also makes them see how much they are actually buying a 1year old!

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#13 of 14 Old 05-13-2011, 11:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kortana View Post

My IL are the same way but I think I found away to stop it. I have now started to keep the massive amount of toys they buy for my daughter at their house for when we visits. After Easter I heard a mummbled complaint about how many toys there were but I just explained that our house is even smaller so we cant keep bringing the toys home. I personally dont think kids should even get toys for Easter. By keeping the toys at the IL's house it also makes them see how much they are actually buying a 1year old!


This is what I am going to start doing. I told my MIL that I was getting rid of some toys and she said to let her have some at her house. Hopefully she will see that the things I'm getting rid of are the cheap, plastic crap that she gets for them! Maybe that will make her think twice about what to get for them next time. I mean, if they play with it, I'll keep it, but they don't, so out it goes!

                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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#14 of 14 Old 05-15-2011, 05:34 PM
 
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My kids both have summer birthdays just a couple of weeks apart so twice a year at Christmas and their birthdays we have a huge influx of toys and such. What I have done the past three years is right before those times I cull, donate, and trash big time. I literally put every toy in the living room after bedtime and get rid of anything that does not get played with or drives me bonkers. Then it is not so overwhelming when the stuff starts coming in.  Then again about a week after the gift receiving I sit down again and put away anything that they received that would be better at a later date and donate things they received I know they will never play with. I have also been pushing the memberships and experiences vs toys with the grandparents.


Jenese Mama to Elliot 8/05 and Millie Jane 7/07 and Cecilia Kate 1/11
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