Hello! I am going to clean my house. You are going to help me. You needn't to do anything. You needn't say anything. You don't even actually have to exist. I could be talking to thin air and that would probably be fine, I just need a place to put it all down I think. I would, of course, prefer you to actually exist and would very much welcome anyone who wanted to join in here themselves.
Let me start off by saying that this whole house was just completely and totally clean a month ago! (With the exception of one room that we aren't even going to talk about yet, I will get to it last.) It would be hard to believe seeing it now. I decided that accountability is the only thing that really motivates me. I'm not even sure "motivate" is the right word, more like "forces me." For instance, this whole house was clean a month ago because I had family coming to stay. And every time I get it all clean, I swear I am going to keep it that way because that would be so easy, wouldn't it? So much easier than all this horrible catch up cleaning I just had to do. But it's not, and it never is, and I would almost swear to you that it is not possible because I try so hard and want it so bad! However, other people seem to be able to manage maintaining a house that it would not be mortifying for someone to drop by and see, right? People even do it with kids, yea, even babies. I want to. It must be possible. But we'll get to maintaining cleanliness after I get things clean enough to maintain.
So what I am going to do is this. I am going to take a picture of one room and share it with you. Then I will clean it so that I can take another picture of that room and show everyone how nice it looks now. Then I will move on to the next room. This may seem very weird, I don't know, but I am really confident (so far, because it hasn't gone wrong yet ) that this will really help me. I will really want to show you that I have gotten that room all clean.
I would also like to say that this is incredibly, even excruciatingly, embarrassing for me, but I am hell bent on being honest about this and changing it so that I do not have to feel that way. So if you feel like the only thing you can say to me is that I am gross, please say nothing.
Here are the hardest challenges for me to overcome in cleaning and keeping up my house:
1.) I do not have any child-free time. DD1 does not nap, and DD2 does not nap for long or go to bed before I have been ready for bed for hours. Anything I can get done I do with at least one child probably attached to me.
2.) I do not get nearly enough sleep. I cannot seem to make DD2's sleep patterns overlap with DD1's, no matter what I do. This does not leave very long for me to try to get sleep, not to mention waking to nurse or settle a toddler back to sleep. I am exhausted all the time, and pretty much operate soley on coffee and the thought that things won't continue like this forever. They will change eventually, they have to, I just need to do my best and survive until then.
3.) I only have one day a week that DH is here to help, sometimes two. I get the kids up and ready by myself in the morning, and I get the kids ready for and in bed by myself at night. DH works so much and his schedule is such that I effectively feel like a single parent, although I am sure actual single parents could find 1000 reasons that is unfair of me to say. He is not easy to get to help on his only day off, either, when he works 2nd shift and overtime all the other days. Not even, "Please just sit and play with the kids while I try to work." Which isn't all his fault, he can't nurse the baby or do much about either screaming for Mama. They've both been very ornery and clingy lately. DD2 is teething and I am not really sure what is going on in DD1's little body, I hope to get her to the chiro soon and hope that helps. DH is also very good at contributing to the mess, especially in his daily rush to get out the door to work. I feel like a domestic failure. The house is not nice for him when he gets home, dinner is certainly not on the table, and most the time I don't manage to pack him a lunch. I am happy if I eat. And it is terribly depressing when I spend all day fighting for every inch I can on the house and he comes home, throws his coat on the floor, and doesn't say anything. Or even appear to notice. I know there is other crap on the floor, but, really? I will leave projects I am not done with yet out, or things I have to drop to go running for a baby, but I swear to go he leaves everything out. Especially if I have just gotten it clean. It's like I've cleared it just for him to have a place to throw #@^*. I don't mean it to sound like the mess is all his fault, it isn't, but I find this indefinitely frustrating.
The house is actually more out of hand right now than usual because I am just getting ready to try reclaiming my house after 2 weeks of myself and both kids (DD1: almost 3 years, DD2: 6 months) being horribly sick with the flu / sinus infection.That said, DH and I are both messy people by nature and house keeping has always been a struggle for us. This will be a struggle and it will also not be the first time that I try to really change my habits and get control over my home, but this will be the first time that I will have other people to go to. (with any luck! )
The hardest things for me to keep up on are dishes and laundry, I do not think all of the laundry has been clean and put away all at once since DD1 was probably 6 months old.
Getting started is so hard, because I look around and feel instantly totally overwhelmed and depressed and I am apt to run to the internet and google, "Inspiration for cleaning my house" rather than actually just starting somewhere. The way things are now, I can't set DD2 down without being next to her, and I have no idea how anyone can do this with a baby in a sling. I try, and it does not work. Things like exersaucers, playpens, and swings start to look appealing, lol.. but I don't want to need one!
So here is my livingroom. I am going to try to get it really clean so that I have a place I can comfortably let DD2 play while I attack the kitchen and dining areas. If she will let me put her down. I am feeling so much better than I have been the last couple weeks of illness, and am still so happy about getting more than 2 hours of sleep for the last two night in a row, I am hoping I can seriously attack this and keep going, and keep my drive! (Which is far more prominent while talking about cleaning than while actually trying to clean ) Wish me luck! (please )