As God As My Witness... I will never be embarrased by my home again!!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 53 Old 08-25-2011, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Or at the very least the embarrassment will be kept at a minimum.

 

A few weeks ago I happened to listen to an NPR segment on hoarding and something just clicked inside me. They were talking about me. They were talking about my home. And for the first time I realized that not everyone lived the way that I did. My home was not as cluttered as a hoarders; but the mentality was the same.

 

I made up my mind that by the time we had people over for my son's birthday in September; that every inch of this house would be non-humiliating.

 

For the past few weeks I've been working *so* hard; and I'm proud to announce that you can now come over unannounced and walk around my entire downstairs. I have:

 

Cleared a bunch of trash from our media room

Decluttered that same room; and rearranged the furniture so now we have a new *living space* instead of what amounted to an oversized closet

 

Cleaned/decluttered our downstairs closet; formal living room, and family room.

 

Cleaned/decluttered my craft room which I previously would not let anyone walk in because of the mess and pins etc all over the carpet. I'm still working on teh closet. DH rearranged all the furniture *and* got me a new craft table!

 

Cleaned and re straightened the nursery

 

Scrubbed miles and miles of baseboard (still have miles to go).

 

I'm so excited-- my home will never be as clean as my inlaws, nor as well decorated; but I do *not* want to be ashamed of the way I live (and by extension, my husband and children live) any more.

 

Just as an aside; I found 250 dollars of uncashed checks in all the junk.


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#2 of 53 Old 08-25-2011, 11:18 PM
 
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That's GREAT!!!

 

I'm hoping to be right there with you. Trying to purge and clean and Oh sometimes I wish I were a minimalist.eyesroll.gif


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#3 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 05:16 AM
 
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Awesome. Good for you! smile.gif

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#4 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 07:07 AM
 
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That sounds amazing.  You must feel so fantastic when you walk into those rooms now.  Nicely done!


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#5 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 08:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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especially since I actually *can* walk in those rooms now. None of the rooms were unusable; but not user friendly for sure. I also *took back* my "MIL's' living room. As she hasn't been living here for a year; I think it's about time.

 

I'm shocked at how twisted my thinking was. I've had brown, dead plants just sitting in her room; because they were 'hers'. Well it's my home, and out they go! I have a box for her items; so I'm not chucking them, but no longer do they need to be cluttering up my kitchen, closets and living areas. I'm moving them out, and making room for me!

 

I've also gone through boxes, and boxes of stuff that I had from college. I have such an attachment to all the items from when DH and I started dating-- I think it was because it was the happiest time in my life. Well, I have those memories, and I have DH; so I've chucked all the ticket stubs, receipts, gifts and (i'm so embarrassed), *underwear* that I will never fit into again.

 

Next up... baby clothes. I've been really good about buying just a handful of outfits for my oldest each season; but there is still no reason to keep this stuff around after my daughter is finished with it. Between hand me downs; the stuff I sew, and gifts, my daughter has more clothes than she needs. I'm going to pick out a few 'like new' items for a future child (either mine or my sisters) and donate the rest.

 

 

I'm not really sure why I'm posting, I guess for support and encouragement. I'm shocked at how painful it is to get rid of these things. I'm shocked at how uncomfortable I am in an uncluttered environment at the end of the day; but I want my kids to be used to clean, not messy.

 

Anyone else want to join me in making the change from shamed to proud?

 

 

 


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#6 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 08:14 AM
 
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Congratulations! It sounds as though you've gotten tons accomplished. I began my decluttering journey roughly a year ago and I still have a ways to go, but I am amazed by how less stuff equals more peace of mind.

 

Great job! joy.gif

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#7 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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That's quite an accomplishment! Enjoy your hard work, momma. joy.gif

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#8 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 08:43 PM
 
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You should be very proud of yourself! Our whole culture has such a dysfunctional relationship with 'stuff" that to leave that path and forge a new one can end up being really, really hard. You are fighting on complicated emotional terrain, and doing awesomely! 

 

I wanted also to add support to the desire to teach the kids that a clean house is normal and a cluttered one is not-- I grew up in a VERY cluttered and even dirty house (though we were a very creative and happy family) and have had to teach myself the skills of taking care of "stuff" as an adult. I lived in Bohemian Squalor for many, many years, until having children put me over the edge to  slow, painful reform. My six-year-old daughter? When we do our daily/weekly cleanup stuff, I give her a zone, and she goes to town. Putting things away where they go, wiping surfaces, vacuuming (her favorite part). She doesn't do the kitchen, because she can't reach the counters without a stool, but she does the bathroom, bedroom, living room, entryway, playroom, craft table. Partly, it's easy because everything has its place. Partly, it's fun because we're all working together and we put on music and whatnot. But I see also that she enjoys the order it produces and the sense of taking care of our family by making a peaceful home. She has more self-care skills in this area at age six than I had at age 26. I love it that she won't struggle to function through the fog of "stuff" the way I did as a younger person-- she might choose to live in squalor (or Squalor) at some point, but it will be a *choice* for her in ways it never was for me. My three-year old, well... I don't know that he'll be as easy to indoctrinate, but he does get into the toy-putting-away if we time ourselves to see if we can beat the timer, or finish before 'Yellow Submarine' is over, or promise ourselves something fun after our tasks are done, which were all things I did with dd when she was younger. 

 

Anyway. Just wanted to pat you on the back for all your hard work. I've been there (including the boxes and boxes of college sentiment), and I know how much time and energy it takes-- but you'll never have to do it again in the same way, never.


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#9 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 08:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

I'm shocked at how painful it is to get rid of these things. I'm shocked at how uncomfortable I am in an uncluttered environment at the end of the day;


This I understand. A certain amount of clutter feels right. But then it spawns. It can't be that way.

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#10 of 53 Old 08-26-2011, 11:27 PM
 
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am so pleased for you.

+ happy you posted about it (post # 5 and you wondering ...)

because I'm hoping that reading about your progress will help me in my own efforts that are ever so slow

(I work in spurts, I do experience the 'click" effect you mention in post # 1 but it usually affects a very small spot//short duration

so the task still seems enormous ...)

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#11 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 09:15 AM
 
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Congratulations on your clean-up.   I am in a similar situation in my home where things have gotten out of hand.   We have been renovating (actually it's stalled out due to lack of time and funds) our basement for over two years now, and just this week I realized that I need to start thinking of my home as half as big as it really is because who knows when we'll get that space back.   We have waaaayyyy too much stuff for the "new" size.    I started looking at the holiday grand plan and am going to do the housecleaning and decluttering portions of it to regain control!    

 

I can totally relate to the emotional ties of stuff.   That is the hardest part for me.   Good for you for pushing past that. 

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#12 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 11:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for this post! I feel like I should print it out so I can keep it with me as I clean. (but I won't as that would be clutter!).

 

I'm suprised at how emotional this stuff is for me. And I'm not saying that my home looks like better homes and gardens either-- I can defnitely see myself going through these rooms again and again in the coming years.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by snanna View Post

You should be very proud of yourself! Our whole culture has such a dysfunctional relationship with 'stuff" that to leave that path and forge a new one can end up being really, really hard. You are fighting on complicated emotional terrain, and doing awesomely! 

 

I wanted also to add support to the desire to teach the kids that a clean house is normal and a cluttered one is not-- I grew up in a VERY cluttered and even dirty house (though we were a very creative and happy family) and have had to teach myself the skills of taking care of "stuff" as an adult. I lived in Bohemian Squalor for many, many years, until having children put me over the edge to  slow, painful reform. My six-year-old daughter? When we do our daily/weekly cleanup stuff, I give her a zone, and she goes to town. Putting things away where they go, wiping surfaces, vacuuming (her favorite part). She doesn't do the kitchen, because she can't reach the counters without a stool, but she does the bathroom, bedroom, living room, entryway, playroom, craft table. Partly, it's easy because everything has its place. Partly, it's fun because we're all working together and we put on music and whatnot. But I see also that she enjoys the order it produces and the sense of taking care of our family by making a peaceful home. She has more self-care skills in this area at age six than I had at age 26. I love it that she won't struggle to function through the fog of "stuff" the way I did as a younger person-- she might choose to live in squalor (or Squalor) at some point, but it will be a *choice* for her in ways it never was for me. My three-year old, well... I don't know that he'll be as easy to indoctrinate, but he does get into the toy-putting-away if we time ourselves to see if we can beat the timer, or finish before 'Yellow Submarine' is over, or promise ourselves something fun after our tasks are done, which were all things I did with dd when she was younger. 

 

Anyway. Just wanted to pat you on the back for all your hard work. I've been there (including the boxes and boxes of college sentiment), and I know how much time and energy it takes-- but you'll never have to do it again in the same way, never.



 


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#13 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 11:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Jane View Post




This I understand. A certain amount of clutter feels right. But then it spawns. It can't be that way.


This is the thing I'm suprised about the most. Having a clear room for me is almost anxiety producing! No wonder I coudln't keep it clean. I wonder if having it decorated/pictures up on teh wall etc would make it feel more like home.

 


 

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am so pleased for you.

+ happy you posted about it (post # 5 and you wondering ...)

because I'm hoping that reading about your progress will help me in my own efforts that are ever so slow

(I work in spurts, I do experience the 'click" effect you mention in post # 1 but it usually affects a very small spot//short duration

so the task still seems enormous ...)


 

Thanks! I will keep posting my progress; mostly because I'm ashamed to brag to anyone else. About the click.... I cheated. I've recently started on antidepressents and feel better than I have in years!

 

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#14 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 07:16 PM
 
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I have GOT to do something about my house, too. It is so completely overwhelming. I actually came here to post something similar, I can't wait to update my own progress. WTG, Texmati!


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#15 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 07:18 PM
 
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About the click.... I cheated. I've recently started on antidepressents and feel better than I have in years!

 

That's not cheating!! That is taking care of your mental health. I have taken an antidepressant for years and have taken Adderall since January. Each of those have changed my life; I could maybe give up taking Zoloft, but I don't ever want to stop taking Adderall, at least not until I don't have kids in my house.

 

P.S. "Gone With the Wind" is one of my top 5 favorite books, love the reference in the thread title!
 

 


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#16 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 07:20 PM
 
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OP, I'm so happy for you!
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#17 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 08:19 PM
 
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I just stumbled across this forum by accident as i joined the site seeking breastfeeding support and saw the title of your post on a random list of newest posts on the site and was intrigued..
I was raised in a cluttered home and think that has contributed to my comfort within a cluttered environment..there r days when i look around and finally realize how cluttered or untidy things have gotten and think my kids deserve better and we need to clean up, so we do, but within a day we can have it looking like that again..it is as though we are happiest to just let it be that way..but yet i hate it. I hate that i dont want ppl to stop in unannounced, or tbat i have to scurry around when company is coming because things aren't in order the way they should be. We r not talking a true vision from that show..we can walk around in all of the rooms, but mantles, side tables etc have things that dont belong just cluttered there..toy boxes and shelves r in need of purging and reorganizing, and the empty space behind the stairs is used like storage closet. I also identify with some of the traits of a hoarder ie. dont want other ppl going through and decluttering my stuff and lack the motivation to do it myself..
How do u get motivated to get on top of things, and more importantly how do you keep it that way? I feel like i can spend rediculous amounts of time reorganizing but reclutter in no time..
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#18 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 10:02 PM
 
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WTG!!! I say you take the $250 and use it to get some frames for pictures, maybe a throw blanket that you'll use to stay warm, and see if making an area more like home doesn't help with the anxiety. I know it has with mine. Candles in a favorite, comforting scent are nice to have around as well.


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#19 of 53 Old 08-27-2011, 10:32 PM
 
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I'm so excited-- my home will never be as clean as my inlaws, nor as well decorated; but I do *not* want to be ashamed of the way I live (and by extension, my husband and children live) any more.

 

I so hear you on this.  An example from this afternoon:  the battery in my upstairs smoke alarm has been "cheeping" forever.  I keep meaning to change it, but you know how that goes.  Today, my neighbor brought over his ladder AND a new battery and offered to change it for me.  I wouldn't let him because I was so embarrassed for him to see the inside of my house.  That's just nuts.  I've gotta get on top of this!


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#20 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 07:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tincia View Post

I just stumbled across this forum by accident as i joined the site seeking breastfeeding support and saw the title of your post on a random list of newest posts on the site and was intrigued..
I was raised in a cluttered home and think that has contributed to my comfort within a cluttered environment..there r days when i look around and finally realize how cluttered or untidy things have gotten and think my kids deserve better and we need to clean up, so we do, but within a day we can have it looking like that again..it is as though we are happiest to just let it be that way..but yet i hate it. I hate that i dont want ppl to stop in unannounced, or tbat i have to scurry around when company is coming because things aren't in order the way they should be. We r not talking a true vision from that show..we can walk around in all of the rooms, but mantles, side tables etc have things that dont belong just cluttered there..toy boxes and shelves r in need of purging and reorganizing, and the empty space behind the stairs is used like storage closet. I also identify with some of the traits of a hoarder ie. dont want other ppl going through and decluttering my stuff and lack the motivation to do it myself..
How do u get motivated to get on top of things, and more importantly how do you keep it that way? I feel like i can spend rediculous amounts of time reorganizing but reclutter in no time..

I think the trick is not just reorganizing but decluttering, getting rid of stuff so that you have less stuff cluttering your space, less stuff to care for and find homes for, and monitoring what is brought into your house in the first place. At least those are the things that have been working for me. It feels good to donate items I don't use and just to see clear space. Also, I hate dusting with a passion and love that I have less individual items to dust. Good luck! thumb.gif
 

 

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#21 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 06:45 PM
 
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just wanted to say a big "me too!"  I hate the clutter in my house, but i am attached to most everything i have.  i have tried (but not ruthlessly) to declutter, but it always just seems overwhelming.  we have avoided people coming over a lot, and have birthday parties elsewhere, which i hate because my house was always the "get together" house growing up... now i would be mortified if someone just dropped by to hang out.  i hate this and want to change it but it's so overwhelming!

 

one thing that helps keep me motivated is taking before and after pictures, even if nobody else sees them but me, shows me i've really accomplished something, as i can always tell myself "well, it should look like..." instead of saying "way to go!"

 

Also, i noticed i get a lot more accomplished and feel a lot better about it when i clean out of a good mental place (i'm doing well in general) versus times when i clean out of a reaction to my anxiety over how awful my house looks. 


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#22 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 07:09 PM
 
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I do find that having color and texture and interest "built in" rather than coming from "stuff" can make a decluttered space a lot more homelike and suppress the desire to add clutter. Paint color (abandon "realtor beige" and go with real color!), upholstery texture, curtains, nice-looking and well-placed light fixtures, pictures hung on the wall (you have to dust them sometimes but at least you don't have to shove them aside all the time), a good-looking coat rack, and so on. 
 
Even doors and windows and blinds and door and window trim and hinges and towel racks and doorknobs and plumbing fixtures and tile can be interesting. In general I'm suggesting going in for visual interest in the built-in and highly functional items rather than the less-functional added items that can be clutter.
 
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#23 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 07:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tincia View Post
I feel like i can spend rediculous amounts of time reorganizing but reclutter in no time..

 

I'd say that organizing is only really useful after purging. It may be unavoidable before you're done purging, just to maintain your sanity, but it doesn't "build" the way decluttering does. Every item that you get out of your house is an item that you'll never have to clean or organize again, while every shelf that you reorganize is a shelf that you'll have to reorganize again soon.

 

So I'd say, do only as much reorganizing as is absolutely necessary to keep life tolerable, and focus most of your time on purging. For example, if you're thinking, "I'm going to reorganize the linen closet and decide what goes on the shelves and re-wash the dusty stuff and re-fold everything and get rid of those ratty old towels", I'd suggest that you just focus on "get rid of those ratty old towels" - go to the closet, find those towels, throw them out or donate them, and let the rest of the closet stay in chaos while you hunt down other things to get rid of.

 

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#24 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 07:45 PM
 
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I so agree with u about getting stuff out of the house , however i struggle with the fact that my kids have too much stuff, but yet love most of it..we have a rule that prior to birthdays and christmas that donations must be made to get rid of older items they no longer use in order for new things to be brought in..but they still have too much for our small house. Organizational issues are a struggle too because we live in a century farm house with only one closet in the whole house and no garage or basement, so there is honestly no where to store things..
We live in a rural area and previously have not had kids coming over unless preplanned, however my daughter's school friend is moving to the home "next door" ( which out in the country includes a large soy bean field between us lol) so we r likely to have her coming over alot, i really want things to be in order so that this is not a problem. I'm hoping this will be my motivation to get and keep it together!
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#25 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 08:19 PM
 
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Quote:
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my kids have too much stuff, but yet love most of it..
(snip)
we live in a century farm house with only one closet in the whole house and no garage or basement, so there is honestly no where to store things..


Two thoughts:

 

- Could you add shelves along the walls of some rooms for storage? Or is there any chance that you could hire a carpenter to add closet space?

- On the kids' toys, if you can't bring yourself to make them get rid of as much as is needed, what about stashing some things out of daily use, maybe in storage bins? (Where to put the bins? Good question.) I realize that that wouldn't clear actual space, but it would reduce the total number of objects "in play" - they can't make a mess with things that they can't access. Periodically, you could rotate some toys out and some back in.

 

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#26 of 53 Old 08-28-2011, 09:02 PM
 
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Gratz to you, Texmati!  That is really awesome.  I think, if it isn't too "out-there" for you, to look into some basic Feng Shui principles--not anything complex, but just the general ideas.  A good friend of mine is very well-read in Feng Shui, and she says that's it's essential to LOVE every item that's in your home--have it really resonate with who you are and who you'd like to be.  If you've got things in your home that make you feel badly, get rid of that negative-energy baggage!  ASAP!  (examples?  size two jeans from highschool, expensive jewelry from a nasty ex, gifts that mom bought you that are useful but HER style, not yours....I could go on..! biggrinbounce.gif

 

That said, I'm sure my Feng Shui friend would be more than a little disturbed to come over my place!  I am an aspiring minimalist, lol--but I also live in the home that used to be my parents' home, along with my aging father.  He doesn't cope with change well, and is a total pack-rat.  I feel like I'm waging war on the house, clearing out absurd items that have been squirreled away for decades..!  innocent.gif


Freethinking Earth-mama of five. uc.jpg

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#27 of 53 Old 08-29-2011, 07:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all the responses! i'll reply more at nap. This weekend we didn't get as much done as I expected. Hugs to all of you dealing with this problem! I'll write more soon!


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#28 of 53 Old 08-30-2011, 08:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by texmati View Post

Anyone else want to join me in making the change from shamed to proud?

 

 

 



I'll join you! Much of our house is nothing I am too embarrassed about, at least a good amount of the time, but my "office" is where all the extra stuff ends up and I need to deal with it finally! It's really a catch-all room:  it's my desk, computer and papers, but also it's an overflowing toy closet (with lots of toys/costumes just in a heap in the corner, many toys in containers but just stacked on the floor, etc.  It's also the piano room, a work/desk area for the kids, the kids' clothes dressers, and the guest bed. I have a bunch of giveaway stuff lingering here too, and kids' school art/papers in stacks (what to do with those things!) on my desk, boxes of kids' books on the floor (where can I put all this? They do use them!) and more stuff mixed in.   It's a mess.  This is the one room that looks like a hoarder lives here.  I'm not a hoarder, I'm just not a naturally organized person - but like you, sometimes hearing about hoarding hits a little too close to home and makes me resolve to clean up .....   Thanks for sharing your successes!

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#29 of 53 Old 09-02-2011, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK! Sorry folk's kids have literally not been sleeping at the same time so I never had a chance to update. But hubster's is on duty now so I can get back to everyone!

 

Firstly, my progress... I did organize the nursery, scrub all the downstairs base boards; wash all the walls I could etc. I only have the kitchen and master bedroom to reorganize. (I know those will be hardest for me!). So, all in all, I could invite any of you all over and not be embarrassed as long as you stayed out of my master bedroom *and* I had a chance to clean the bathrooms before you came.

 

The house isn't show ready at ALL; but It doesnt veer form 'bad taste' to abnormal. We have hardly any pictures on the wall, some boxes in the living spaces; and I"m sure my son has thrown some food on the floor since I vaccumed half an hour ago. But I feel like it's normal. I still have to do a 'clean up' before someone comes; but it's 10 minutes, not 10 days.

 

I do need a lot of advice on systems to keep it this way. I feel very overwhelmed; and I feel like I could clean all day long (like, if I had a chef and sitter); and still never get done. How do ya'll do this with the kidlets?


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#30 of 53 Old 09-02-2011, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope I don't miss anyone! I've been a member of this forum a long time; and so very much appreciate teh advice I get here. I know it takes time to read and reply to a post; and really want everyone to know that I read every post. Thank's so much for all teh congratulations and well wishes!
 

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Originally Posted by tincia View Post

I just stumbled across this forum by accident as i joined the site seeking breastfeeding support and saw the title of your post on a random list of newest posts on the site and was intrigued..
I was raised in a cluttered home and think that has contributed to my comfort within a cluttered environment..there r days when i look around and finally realize how cluttered or untidy things have gotten and think my kids deserve better and we need to clean up, so we do, but within a day we can have it looking like that again..it is as though we are happiest to just let it be that way..but yet i hate it. I hate that i dont want ppl to stop in unannounced, or tbat i have to scurry around when company is coming because things aren't in order the way they should be. We r not talking a true vision from that show..we can walk around in all of the rooms, but mantles, side tables etc have things that dont belong just cluttered there..toy boxes and shelves r in need of purging and reorganizing, and the empty space behind the stairs is used like storage closet. I also identify with some of the traits of a hoarder ie. dont want other ppl going through and decluttering my stuff and lack the motivation to do it myself..
How do u get motivated to get on top of things, and more importantly how do you keep it that way? I feel like i can spend rediculous amounts of time reorganizing but reclutter in no time..


Tincia; I have been suprised in teh past few days how it *is* much eaiser to keep clean when there is less stuff. It's hard for me to throw out things as well. I also would not be able to just have someone else go through my stuff. It's taken me a while to come to this point, but I realize now that every object in my environement has an effect on my life. It does *cost* me something to have so many sewing items; even if they do have some value. The first few rooms were hard; but I'm getting better at realizing the stress that these objects cause me; and asking myself-- are you worth it?
 

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WTG!!! I say you take the $250 and use it to get some frames for pictures, maybe a throw blanket that you'll use to stay warm, and see if making an area more like home doesn't help with the anxiety. I know it has with mine. Candles in a favorite, comforting scent are nice to have around as well.


Wow!!! I feel like I have so much to do before i can even start thinking about decorating! I don't much enjoy (or have much talent for, ) decorating... maybe I can just hire it out when the time is right?

 


 

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I think the trick is not just reorganizing but decluttering, getting rid of stuff so that you have less stuff cluttering your space, less stuff to care for and find homes for, and monitoring what is brought into your house in the first place. At least those are the things that have been working for me. It feels good to donate items I don't use and just to see clear space. Also, I hate dusting with a passion and love that I have less individual items to dust. Good luck! thumb.gif
 

 



I just wanted to give a thumbs up to this. I really couldn't understand it on the other side. I remember reading in flylady that you were only supposed to declutter in an area until it was completely free of clutter before begning any cleaning. I never could understand this; but it really does work. Things just seem to clean themselves when there is not clutter. Even mess looks less messy!



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Originally Posted by kt~mommy View Post

just wanted to say a big "me too!"  I hate the clutter in my house, but i am attached to most everything i have.  i have tried (but not ruthlessly) to declutter, but it always just seems overwhelming.  we have avoided people coming over a lot, and have birthday parties elsewhere, which i hate because my house was always the "get together" house growing up... now i would be mortified if someone just dropped by to hang out.  i hate this and want to change it but it's so overwhelming!

 

one thing that helps keep me motivated is taking before and after pictures, even if nobody else sees them but me, shows me i've really accomplished something, as i can always tell myself "well, it should look like..." instead of saying "way to go!"

 

Also, i noticed i get a lot more accomplished and feel a lot better about it when i clean out of a good mental place (i'm doing well in general) versus times when i clean out of a reaction to my anxiety over how awful my house looks. 


The bolded is what really got to me. I want to be able to say "come on in," warmly at the door, instead of feeling panicked!

 



Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by reezley View Post





I'll join you! Much of our house is nothing I am too embarrassed about, at least a good amount of the time, but my "office" is where all the extra stuff ends up and I need to deal with it finally! It's really a catch-all room:  it's my desk, computer and papers, but also it's an overflowing toy closet (with lots of toys/costumes just in a heap in the corner, many toys in containers but just stacked on the floor, etc.  It's also the piano room, a work/desk area for the kids, the kids' clothes dressers, and the guest bed. I have a bunch of giveaway stuff lingering here too, and kids' school art/papers in stacks (what to do with those things!) on my desk, boxes of kids' books on the floor (where can I put all this? They do use them!) and more stuff mixed in.   It's a mess.  This is the one room that looks like a hoarder lives here.  I'm not a hoarder, I'm just not a naturally organized person - but like you, sometimes hearing about hoarding hits a little too close to home and makes me resolve to clean up .....   Thanks for sharing your successes!


This is exactly what happened to me. At some point; I started treating entire rooms like closets. My sewing room was like this; and then when MIL moved out; her livng area (which is between the living room and garage) became like that. Not the whole room, but thigns would get 'parked' there goign in and out of the house. I realize that I'm always going to need a 'catchall space' just because of how my mind works. Right now it's the kitchen counter. DH and I have institued an 'arsoo rekha' which means line of laziness. Basically, if the catch all area expands past that line; it's just too much; and we need to clear it.

 


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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