Realizing your relationship with stuff can be broken. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-19-2014, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Today I woke up angry. Angry because my house is very messy, angry because for the fourth week in a row, we are sick with something new and I'm simply and utterly exhausted, angry because my husband has such a tight schedule now with work and I receive little to no help from him and I also have no outside help at all. Angry because everyone keeps giving me the crap they no longer want, but never gives me their time or help in managing it all.

 

So I decluttered. And boy was it good. Decluttering when your sick and angry works wonders against sentimental and emotional reasoning for holding onto stuff. I looked at so many things and thought "If I can't be bothered taking care of you on a day like this (sick, exhausted), then you don't belong here". It didn't matter where it came from, how much great use it could have ONE DAY or whatever.. TODAY, I could not take care of it. TODAY, is my real everyday life (busy, sometimes sick, tired as all f**k) and if it has no place in my house TODAY, then it shouldn't be here tomorrow either. Because tomorrow is not usually much different than today. The only exceptions I made are for seasonal things - easter baskets, christmas decor and special occasion clothing (which in my opinion, is pretty reasonable).

 

I wanted to put this out there, in case it helps anyone else to come to their own realization about stuff. I'm over stuff. I have so much to do, so much to take care of, so much to occupy my mind and time.. I certainly don't need to be babysitting objects that don't serve me, on top of that.

 

Goodbye several bags and boxes full of stuff. I wish you well in your continuing journey.


 

Me:  run.gif  DH:  hammer.gif 

 

Our babies:  reading.gif  blahblah.gif energy.gif moon.gif and a  stork-suprise.gif  coming in July

 

 

 

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#2 of 7 Old 03-20-2014, 09:31 AM
 
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Wow!! Good for you! I know that's not always easy, but definitely feels good in the end. That's awesome!

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#3 of 7 Old 03-20-2014, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you HopeAlive! Decluttering is the easy part, but coming to realizations about the stuff surrounding you I would say is more difficult. I've been decluttering consistently for over 7 years now and whilst I knew in the back of my mind that I am ridding of stuff that I don't have a need for, I would still keep things that I may have a need for one day in the very near future (which for most items never really happens), or are too good to pass up (like a working near new small appliance) or stuff that will all be used that one day in the distant future where I wouldn't wake up tired, feeling sick and having my house the way it is. That perfect day where everything will finally fall into place and I'll be able to take care of my 1001 possessions on top of my usual schedule. I think I am finally accepting there will be no golden moment like that coming up in the future, so instead of fighting it, I might as well as go along with it and change everything else to suit the situation.

 

What makes me laugh is that the same time last year, I honestly thought I was down to bare essentials with just a few superfluous items. Oh how wrong I was! Having gone through everything a few times since then, I can say about a third more goods have left. Now my next big project is tackling unwanted goods from family and friends. I admit it angers me a little that everyone seems to hand over their unwanted goods to us and our already bursting at the seams home, then remarks that I need a better house keeping schedule cause we've got so much stuff everywhere. Hmmm, yes! I do need to better schedule my time to take care of all your unwanted crap that you've so lovingly dumped on my doorstep, you're right! I'm finally angry enough to say "no thanks - I don't have the time nor space" and stop it before it enters. I used to struggle with this a lot as I don't like confrontation. Baby steps.. 

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Me:  run.gif  DH:  hammer.gif 

 

Our babies:  reading.gif  blahblah.gif energy.gif moon.gif and a  stork-suprise.gif  coming in July

 

 

 

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#4 of 7 Old 03-21-2014, 04:24 AM
 
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Love our Babies, thank you so much, your posts have really helped crystallise some thoughts for me.
 

Funny as today I was in the worst mood ever, so for some reason it made me want to declutter, I could throw all my anger into tossing stuff out! So could definitely relate to your post. I have been sick too, must be something going round here in Australia? ;)

And yeah that about people dumping stuff yet judging our mess...sure reminds me of well-meaning (?) mother in law, who oozes judgement about my messy over crowded house, but keeps trying to give me her awful cast off clothes that would not suit me at all, and if I say no thanks she looks so offended.


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#5 of 7 Old 03-21-2014, 05:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello fellow aussie! wave.gif Oh, I'm sorry to hear you're unwell too. There must be something in the air. It's the crazy weather. Storm.. Hot.. Cool.. Rain.. :dizzy

 

Bad moods are so good for decluttering. I'm glad my post gave you something to think about. I was walking around the house putting things here and there and as soon as I realized what I had discovered, I dropped it all and went down to write. 

 

The expectations placed on us with housing other people's unwanted stuff AND having to cherish it all and keep it in good order, is utterly ridiculous! I've had to put up with commentaries from my in laws as well, but my husband told them where to go! Thank God he did because I'm very much the non confrontational type. But it still creates anger and resentment that such things should be said when they certainly don't help the situation.

 

My DD had an epiphany yesterday when she saw me packing some stuff up for donation.. She said "Mum, why do other people give us their unwanted stuff? What makes them think that we want it, if they don't even want it themselves?" Definitely an Aha moment for both her and I. 


 

Me:  run.gif  DH:  hammer.gif 

 

Our babies:  reading.gif  blahblah.gif energy.gif moon.gif and a  stork-suprise.gif  coming in July

 

 

 

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#6 of 7 Old 03-21-2014, 07:55 AM
 
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Good for you! And, yes, baby steps. :)

 

I'm totally the same as you when it comes to my thought process while I'm giving stuff away, especially with clothes. I always think, "But what if I need to wear it again?!" ...Even though it will have been like two years since I've worn it. :/ Haha

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#7 of 7 Old 03-31-2014, 04:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Haha I can definitely resonate with that! I noticed I had stuff that I was continuously putting in the "what if I'll use this" basket, year after year. And in all those years, I never used it once.

 

I'm still plugging along and clearing the house room by room - It's so refreshing to look around and only see what you *actually* touch to use or admire and nothing more sitting around in your house. It feels so.. calm.  


 

Me:  run.gif  DH:  hammer.gif 

 

Our babies:  reading.gif  blahblah.gif energy.gif moon.gif and a  stork-suprise.gif  coming in July

 

 

 

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