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is it possible?

2K views 12 replies 10 participants last post by  sillysapling 
#1 ·
Seriously, is it possible to
have 4 kids
cook every meal mostly from scratch
not use a maid or even have much help from anyone (kids or husband)
homeschool by creating your own curriculum (not buying any curriculum) (this means I spend time each night/week preparing the school stuff, I don't get to follow what came in the package)
Be with the kids 100% of the time (no friends to watch my kids, no night at grandmas, etc)
do 30 min of walking daily

AND HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE?

I literally feel like it isn't posdible, but rather than just have sympathy, I really want to know if it is possible. Is there someone reading this who can say yes to doing all those things and having a clean house? If so, I just need to know how. Because I really do want a clean house and I still want to do these things (I love cooking and homeschooling, etc...) help!
 
#3 ·
No.

It really isn't possible to do all of that and have a clean house. I couldn't do half of that and I only have two kids.

I gave up creating my own curriculum for my older kid, we still homeschool but we buy a syllabus from Oak Meadow. I don't exercise most days, I do cook mostly from scratch but lunch my kids mostly get for themselves. Everyone in our household has chores and helps to clean up. My house STILL isn't clean. And I do get help from grandparents occasionally, or have my oldest babysit.

Honestly if you're doing all that without help, I don't know how you're staying sane.
 
#6 ·
I suspect that, if anyone is doing all of those things and somehow has a clean house, that person does not have time to read the internet.

There are only 24 hours in a day, and sleep is a necessity. I think you have to make some choices about what's most important, and focus on those in the day to day.
 
#8 ·
If your partner isn't holding up there end of having a clean house, they aren't a partner. Husbands shouldn't "help" with the house work, just like they shouldn't "babysit". The house is where all of you live. Everyone who lives there should help with upkeep.
 
#9 ·
I would love to know how to change things up for the op - if the partner isn't pulling the weight, you can't force them to. If there are no babysitters available, you can't make them appear. I hate to sound negative but it's true. I'm homeschooling and have four kids and no family. I have absolutely minimal me time - but I take those moments and run with them. I know eventually I'll have more time. As far as the house goes - simplify as much as you can. Live ridiculously minimalist. The less there is to tidy, the easier it is to clean. And even if the house isn't "clean" per se, ie there's smudges everywhere from little hands, visually it's more appealing when it's at least tidy.

Also, try to enforce bedtimes as much as possible. I'm a big fan of quiet time in rooms at the end of the day for everyone. And I clock out of chores at their bedtime too, unless I have a project I *want* to work on. After that, it's "sort of" me time. (I catch up on bills and emails and such usually but on some nights I just zone out and let my mind rest.)

And homeschooling? We mostly wing it. I don't really do much prep. We read aloud from textbooks and discuss, I assign the kids workbook pages, sometimes I throw on a documentary or take a field trip, or else do some art / music appreciation / whatever. I take a week or two in the summer to map out where we're going, get our books, etc. and one evening a month I compile our online blog / portfolio of highlights. You'd be surprised how much you accomplish without noticing.
 
#11 · (Edited)
I thought I'd give you a sample routine for our day; maybe it'll help and maybe it won't. :)

Kids are 8, 7, 2, and infant.

So in the morning, the two older kids like to wake up very early, but at this point they entertain themselves in their rooms until I get up around seven, when the toddler wakes up. (Usually I'm already awake, nursing.) I say good morning to the big kids and if I did a load of laundry the night before, I'll dump it in the hallway and the two of them will sort them into piles for each family member, and/or fold towels and napkins. They put away their own clothes in their dressers (don't bother folding, but sort into drawers of shirts, pants, dresses, socks, etc.) and the little kids' clothes and fold the towels; I put away the rest after breakfast. Since we do a load a day usually it rarely piles up (unless we're sick).

Meantime, I shower and get dressed (in about three minutes flat) while the toddler sings to herself in her room, then I get her dressed and make my bed. The older two are usually already dressed with their beds made. We all go downstairs together and have breakfast. Since they take their time and I'm not huge on breakfast, I usually do dishes at this point. (Our dishwasher broke, ugh.) Or else I tidy up the kitchen.

Then we have a brief circle time with prayer, talk about the day ahead, etc. Mondays and sometimes Fridays I do grocery shopping, but I admit that's something I leave the older two home for. (DH stays at home during the day so they're not alone.) The other days' mornings are either an outing (rare), worksheets, them doing crafts or playing outside or whatever it is. I float in and out and join in on their activities while also trying to entertain the toddler. We have an open floor plan house so I have to stay on top of her, because she's at a very creative stage and would just explore everything if she could. Usually I prep lunch at this point, with the toddler's "help". While lunch is cooking (it's our main meal of the day), the toddler has quiet time in her room (nap time in theory) and I nurse the baby while we do a homeschool lesson (i.e. read from a textbook). We usually get in a good hour.

Then we have lunch together and clean up. The older kids usually have more work to do (I usually get ideas while we read the textbooks, like the other day we were reading a story about writing a letter to one's grandparents - so I told them to write a letter each (we talked about how to do it "properly" with heading etc.) to their grandmothers to talk about camp. So they finish up whatever and then usually go outside for a little bit while I do a thing or two around the house (vacuuming takes precedence, cleaning the bathroom a bit, etc.). Then we usually take a short-ish walk to kill some time, then have a snack. Older kids amuse themselves with Legos or some other thing inside while I play with the toddler in the playroom. (Sometimes I read for pleasure at this point too while she plays and I make appreciative ooohs and aaahs every once in a while.) Baby naps on me and nurses.

Then there's dinner. We prepare it together. It's usually simple; sandwiches or leftovers or something. On "date nights" I usually don't eat; DH and I order take-out and watch Netflix. Otherwise I eat with them. Then baths and pajamas. The toddler goes down then, and the older two go to their rooms for quiet play, drawing, or reading. I kind of have to hang out upstairs at this point because they love to sneak into each other's rooms and get silly, and then they get loud and wake up the toddler. But if I'm hanging out upstairs, they're good. They both love reading and drawing so it's a nice way to wind down. If the baby is cooperating (rarely) I can take a short bath at this point. While the water runs she's usually OK; I think it soothes her, and then she fusses. Then I put on pajamas myself, throw the hamper into the washer, and either do online courses, pay bills, watch Netflix, read... whatever. And then I go to bed pretty early, around 10.

So yeah. This is what's working now. Things change when kids grow into different phases, like dropping naps etc. Things never stay the same for long. This time last year I was able to fit in a part-time job working at home, but now life is too busy. You just have to keep finding new solutions to new challenges. It's maddening sometimes when I see fellow moms with built in babysitters (like grandparents etc.) jetting away for solo spa weekends sans kids to recharge - yes, seriously! - and I know that's just not in the cards for us. But all in all, it's a lot of work but I'm content. Tired, but content. :wink: That's the goal, to find that happy spot, OP.
 
#12 ·
If the youngest child is over 3, then yes, if not, then no. 3yo's create even more disorder than any other age, i have found, due to their love for emptying boxes of things, and creating one big giant pile just when you had cleaned it all up.

But once they get older, then kids can actually *help* you.
 
#13 ·
I agree that you should try to get the kids helping. Kiddo is 2 and special needs and can help a bit with cleaning and cooking. Although he's at the stage where helping takes longer than us doing it ourselves, it lays the groundwork for him to help later. It takes more work now to reduce the workload later.

Especially if you're homeschooling, you should be getting kids involved with housework and cooking, particulalry any sons because they need to learn how to be equal partners and it's not uncommon for daughters to get the brunt of housework. Those are vital life skills, they really are.

You do have to decide your priorities, though. An immaculate house has never been our priority. A reasonably uncluttered house where we can find things without having to send hours searching is.

I have a friend who does side jobs to get money to pay a local teenager to clean the house. That's her priority. I realized it's something I have no interest in doing and stopped feeling as bad for the state of our house. (And I do wonder why her husband can't help more, either by cleaning or taking the kiddo so she can clean)
 
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