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#91 of 116 Old 03-24-2005, 06:28 PM
 
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I've also been slipping off the bandwagon the past few weeks. I try to keep the sink clean, working on the 'zones' sometimes during the week, and trying to keep a few routines.
But lately I've just been feeling exhausted and have been doing the minimum as far as housecleaning/organising is concerned. I feel that taking that nap in the afternoon with my dd is a lot better than using that time to clean and organise.
Does anyone have any tips on how to build up enthusiasm again to FLY?

Single mama to a 5yo and 8yo

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#92 of 116 Old 03-24-2005, 07:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Hollycrand
Does anyone have any tips on how to build up enthusiasm again to FLY?
:

me too me too!!

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#93 of 116 Old 03-24-2005, 09:30 PM
 
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At least you guys are trying, I totally gave up. I was feeling overwhelmed and gave up. Bad me.
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#94 of 116 Old 03-25-2005, 02:13 PM
 
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I have a couple tips...some of them you guys might love and some of them you might hate :LOL

First, go back to the beginning. If you've fallen off the wagon, feeling burned out and overwhelmed, chances are, you've been doing too much. First, get dressed to your shoes (this DOES work, I swear it), and then shine your sink. And that's it, just shine the sink. Find out what zone we're working in, and spend 15 minutes in it, doing something; a 27 fling boogie, a hot spot fire drill, SOMETHING. But, just 15 minutes.

Go back to the beginning and start small; BABY STEPS.

Don't beat yourself up for not getting your house clean immediately. It didn't get messy overnight, it sure isn't going to get clean overnight.

Take care of YOURSELF. Shine your sink, hit the current zone for 15 minutes, and reward yourself that night by taking a bubble bath, or bringing the kids to the park, or something else that recharges your spirit.

Be proud of what you've DONE; don't worry about what's left to do!

No, you don't have to follow the flylady program to the letter. You should certainly adapt it to fit you and your family. But there are certain key points that cannot and should not be looked over:

The getting dressed in the morning, really. Don't hang out in PJ's all day. Dressed to the shoes? I was amazed at how well this worked for me. But it might not work for everyone, I don't know.

Shining your sink. It sounds like a little stupid exercise. But if you haven't done it yet, DO IT! The amount of pride you'll feel from looking at your sparkling sink is just amazing. It's the weirdest thing in the world. And, other people in your home may start to show pride in its appearance as well! My DH doesn't dump his leftover coffee in the kitchen sink anymore, because he doesn't want to "mess it up" :LOL

Not whining. This is a biggie. You can't make excuses and get you house clean at the same time. There is a challenge here. Everyone has something that they can use as an excuse. I made excuses last week, and this week. "I'm seven months pregnant. I'm tired. I have a cold." I made plenty of excuses, and my house suffered for it. The truth is, yes, I'm pregnant, i'm tired and I have a cold. But that didn't stop me from throwing the ball in the yard for the dog for a half an hour. It didn't stop me from shopping with my SIL. If I could do those things, why couldn't I run my dishwasher? Excuses don't do anything but get in the way of your clean home. Don't make them.

Let go of your perfectionism. Remember an earlier post by me, where I said that I coudln't do the dishes because the dishwasher didn't have enough room for all the dishes in the sink? Okay, I was being a perfectionist. Because it wasn't going to get done exactly the way I wanted it done (i.e. everything going in the dishwasher at once and getting clean together), it wasn't getting done at all. I overwhelmed myself with my perfectionism and let it roadblock me from doing what needed to be done.

Perfectionism works in another way against us, too. Let's say you shine you sink, and it looks great. But now you look at the counter next to your sink and it looks so not great. What's the point of having this gorgeous sink if it's surrounded by blech? So you scrub the counter. And what's the point of cleaning the sink and the counter if the range is speckled with pasta sauce splatters? And, wow, how did I miss that hand print on the fridge. Before you know it, you're in full frenzy cleaning mode. Your kitchen gets spic and span, you get tired and burnt out and when you child comes in and dumps a glass of milk into the sink, you don't even have the energy or inclination to clean the cup and rinse and dry the sink. Sure your kitchen's clean NOW, but it's not going to stay that way, because you've burnt yourself out. Perfectionism took over. Either that, or, you find yourself, after three hours of scrubbing and organizing, on the floor of your kitchen, surrounded by the contents of one of your cabinets, when you husband comes home from work and wonders if you've made any dinner. You shove the stuff haphazardly back into the cabinet and make a quick dinner, leave the dishes in the sink, and then collapse on teh couch. I've been there, too.

And lastly, Stop being a martyr. Thoughts like, "I'm the ONLY one who does ANYTHING around here" and "I am so unappreciated! I clean and cook and no one cares" and "No matter how many times I clean things, they just get messed up again!" don't do a thing to bless your family. In fact, I'd say they probably do whatever the opposite of "blessing" your family is. It's hard to stop these thoughts. Believe me, I know. But I am so much happier since I've been able to get a handle on them. I don't think of it as a negative thing anymore that I'm cleaning or doing laundry. I think of it as helping my family by doing these things. I don't resent them. I show my husband I love him in hundreds of little ways; like making surethere's toothpaste, washing his socks, making him dinner.

It's also been easier for me to see the hundreds of little ways he shows me he loves me, since I've stopped playing that negative record in my head.

And my house is usually pretty darn clean.

What's cool is that all this stuff is on the flylady website. There's nothing that I just typed here that you can't go read there. When I'm feeling uninspired, I go check out Kelly's mission and if that doesn't work, I go find some testamonials. If that doesn't work, I think about blessing my family. That usually does it.

Good luck guys!

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." 
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#95 of 116 Old 03-25-2005, 02:41 PM
 
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Thanks! It's good to re-read those things!!!!
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#96 of 116 Old 03-28-2005, 10:10 AM
 
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Hi everyone,

SharonAnne - Awesome post!

I am feeling very motivated today.
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#97 of 116 Old 03-28-2005, 01:28 PM
 
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I decluttered and organized my bedroom closet and dresser drawers! And folded up all of my mans' clothes pile that overtakes the chair in our bedroom.

I now have every closet in the house decluttered and organized. I'm so proud of myself.
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#98 of 116 Old 03-28-2005, 01:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SharonAnne
I don't think of it as a negative thing anymore that I'm cleaning or doing laundry. I think of it as helping my family by doing these things. I don't resent them. I show my husband I love him in hundreds of little ways; like making surethere's toothpaste, washing his socks, making him dinner.

It's also been easier for me to see the hundreds of little ways he shows me he loves me, since I've stopped playing that negative record in my head.
Great post Sharon. I thought this part beared repeating. The last week or so I've been slacking as I've been struggling with two episodes of Mastitis. I'm getting back on track now and so glad. I've been feeling so bad that little things weren't done like the towels weren't put away or the sink wasn't shiney. But I noticed the last week that DH actually HELPED by doing some things that I couldn't get to like some laundry the other day and last night he actually did the dishes (he NEVER does the dishes) and this was following the baby's Baptism so there were a ton of dishes out there. (He didn't shine the sink though ) I think the fact that I've stopped playing the martyr both in my head and sometimes, out loud, has really helped us both.

Great for nature studies! http://www.pleinairkids.com
Plein Air Kids - Handmade wooden art boxes for Budding Artists.
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#99 of 116 Old 03-28-2005, 02:20 PM
 
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How awesome! I'm so glad that you guys enjoyed my post! You know, it's easy for Flylady to say things like "quit whining" :LOL It's not so easy to say it when people are going to be replying to your post! :LOL I was worried y'all were gonna kick me right outta the club.

I'm struggling with the beginning of my third trimester. Really seriously struggling. I am just so tired, I could sleep all day if I didn't have to go to work. While I was in the shower yesterday, my wonderful DH cleaned up the kitchen for me. And he rebooted the laundry. It's little things like that, like what you posted, Kitty, that really keep me hanging in there with Flylady, and that get me back up on the wagon when I fall off.

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." 
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#100 of 116 Old 03-28-2005, 02:39 PM
 
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I popped into this forum because we are finally heading back to Oregon after a 6 week extended trip to California and I am overwhelmed just thinking of everything that needs to be done when we get back to our apartment!

I started the Flylady system a few years ago right after DH and I bought our first house and I was SOARING! But as life does I "fell of the wagon" and hit my head hard! So reading this has been really helpful.

Quote:
Be proud of what you've DONE; don't worry about what's left to do!
I love this! This is actually an affirmation for me.

"I am proud of myself for what I have gotten done today!" I have it written on an index card and taped to my bathroom mirror.

It helps a lot when I don't feel like I have made any head way in the pile of tasks.

One other thing that has really helped me out is Flylady's reminder of "do you know where your laundry is?" That simple phrase helps keep my family in clean socks and underware!

Now with getting ready to do major spring cleaning and nesting to get ready for this baby the zones are going to be a huge help!

Blessings,
N~
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#101 of 116 Old 03-28-2005, 09:23 PM
 
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#102 of 116 Old 03-29-2005, 11:02 AM
 
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I may have quit the emails but I'm still hanging in there with the routines....sorta. I'm still slowly working on my control journal. I check the website for zone missions and news when I think about it. My house needs a major home blessing. I have skipped the ritual 2 weeks in a row. (stinky) LIttoe potty trainer has peed all over the bathroom.
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#103 of 116 Old 04-04-2005, 12:04 PM
 
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Started my Control Journal.....this week is the first one where I will trying daily routines.... : Hope I can do it.
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#104 of 116 Old 04-20-2005, 04:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I was doing well for a while then I don't know what or when it happened, but I reverted back to my old ways and my house is not a nice place to be.

Amazing how far my thread has gone... Wow...

Any one purchase FlyLady's Control Journal after trying to build one of their own and fail?

I tried to build my own, but it got out of hand.

I know why I seem to never get much done, I am constantly cleaning other things that weren't dirty. I spill, the children spill -- my kitchen. The clean laundry is still dirty -- redo some pieces, still dirty. I pick up the floor of toys only to have the entire basket dumped before I come back with the vacuum.

I tried to start our grill to have pork ribs last night. I marinated the ribs at 1pm, I tried to start our grill at 5:30, the charcol has been moved, so I was 15 minutes late starting that, at 6:30 I still had cold coals!!! My dh came home at 7 expecting dinner and I hadn't even gotten the grill luke warm, I was really steamed. I try so hard and things just get worse the harder I try some days.

Yesterday was my ds2 3rd birthday, I was working on his cake most of the day. He decided to help while I nursed, I had to basically start all over.

Do I do this to myself? Would any other mother start over, or would you have said it's your cake, so be it?

Sorry about the little vent...

Now I have to go see where the wasp came from in my interior bathroom. My dd was in there screaming, I went in and heard something funny, I started to look around and saw a big hornet looking wasp flying around. I grabed her off the toilet and shut the door. I went back in for a looksy, no wasp!!! Where in the world did it come from and where did it go???

And now that I've found the sucker and sprayed him to pieces, I have to clean all the bug spray up before anyone can use that only working bathroom in the house!!! See, it's a never ending battle, of making more mess for me to clean up and not just little messes -- hours long messes to clean up. It will take me a good 45 minutes to wash down everything that was sprayed.
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#105 of 116 Old 04-20-2005, 04:31 PM
 
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I feel for you because I am doing the same thing. I am a little depressed and lonely with staying at home with my kids and the home day care so I kinda got lazy. I do know, however, that if I just keep doing small efforts when I can that they will all add up. And when I am back on my feet, everything will still have a place. I can and will get back what I once had. I would have started over on the cake too.Toys are the number one reason my floor doesn'tget vacumed or swept.
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#106 of 116 Old 04-21-2005, 09:14 PM
 
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I have been FLYing for about three weeks now. So far I have taken 11 trash bags to goodwill :LOL I do not yet have a weekly home blessing I find that in my busy household that it is difficult to get an entire hour to go at it.
I really enjoy the "zones" i like how for one week that room is getting lots of attention to get it clean and organised. Some of the reminder emails have had me doing things that I should have done a long time ago, but would never think to do on my own.
I would never think to "boogie" my purse or diaper bag, but they are organised now thanks to flylady.
I don't yet have a control journal, but I like the idea.
So far I have taken what i have needed and erased the rest, and to me, thats ok.
But I would never think of wearing my shoes in the house. That is just rude (at least where I live) :LOL
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#107 of 116 Old 04-28-2005, 10:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If you bought FlyLady's Control Journal, did you like it? Was it a super help? Or was it waste b/c it really wasn't much more than a binder $5 with paper that could have been put together in a hour from her website instructions?
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#108 of 116 Old 04-28-2005, 10:42 AM
 
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Electra, I havent' gotten it, because it is essentially everything that is on the website. Besides, I do things on different days than she does, so it was better for me to make my own.

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." 
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#109 of 116 Old 04-28-2005, 10:48 AM
 
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I bought the FlyLady Control Journal and I think it has helped me. I think having everything laid out for me helped my work on it more that if I had prepared my own.

I also do stuff on different days (I have a full-time job outside the home) but the Control Journal actually has blanks so you can write your stuff on whatever day you do it. I also photocopied blank versions of those pages so I could revise the later if our schedule changes.

Oh, by the way, it doesn't come with the binder (you have to supply that).

I think you could easily build one of these yourself from the information on the website, but buying it gave me the kick in the backside to get started

hth
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#110 of 116 Old 07-31-2005, 05:06 AM
 
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Oh good, I was beginning to think I was the only one who liked FlyLady.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, and found that FlyLady gave me the control over my life that I did not have. I really like the structure. I have not always been successful, I don't receive the emails, and I almost never wear shoes, let alone ones with laces, but I have been able to customized the control journal to fit my abilities and the needs of my household, and I LOVE Kelly's missions.

My morning and evening routines are very simple, and if I have gotten just those done in a day, I consider myself lucky and congratulate myself. If I get anything done on the regular daily and weekly lists, I'm ecstatic. That is the key. My normal inclination is to be so overwhelmed, and to not know where to start, that I just don't start. So, if I only get a few things done, that is worth celebrating. I can berate myself for having newspapers and books spread out over the living room floor, or I can congratulate myself for having a sanitized toilet and cleared kitchen table.
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#111 of 116 Old 07-31-2005, 06:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by alisaterry
Oh good, I was beginning to think I was the only one who liked FlyLady.
I also like her system!!! I too adapted it to fit my needs. I'm still working on the shoes....it reminds me too much of Mr. Rogers (you know, "won't you be my neighbor?"). That, and I keep the floor clean for my baby to crawl on, and I don't want to forget and run outside with the indoor shoes on and track anything in. Also, I only get her e-mails in one bulk e-mail to save reading time. Other than that, my house is starting to look great.
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#112 of 116 Old 07-31-2005, 01:14 PM
 
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I fell off the FLY wagon I really need to get back on, my house (and life) are so chaotic. I do wear my shoes though I think I will give FLYing another try, I'm dedicating myself to my spiritual path this week (special ritual and everything) so maybe I will incorporate FLYing into my "new life"
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#113 of 116 Old 08-01-2005, 04:30 AM
 
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I just ready your birth story! How inspiring! And my family is scandalized because I want a water home birth with a midwife! I visited the UC website and found those stories very encouraging. Luckily, I have a midwife who I know will be very hands off if I need it. However, every once in a while I get a primal urge to dig a dark cave in the yard and retreat there by myself and emerge later with my son.

I admire you for knowing and trusting your body so much.
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#114 of 116 Old 08-02-2005, 08:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry
I just ready your birth story! How inspiring! And my family is scandalized because I want a water home birth with a midwife! I visited the UC website and found those stories very encouraging. Luckily, I have a midwife who I know will be very hands off if I need it. However, every once in a while I get a primal urge to dig a dark cave in the yard and retreat there by myself and emerge later with my son.

I admire you for knowing and trusting your body so much.


Thanks!!!!
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#115 of 116 Old 08-02-2005, 10:16 AM
 
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I read it too and it is amazing. another OT question.... what does this mean )o( ?
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#116 of 116 Old 08-04-2005, 01:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by christeenybeany
I read it too and it is amazing. another OT question.... what does this mean )o( ?
)0( symbolizes the full and cresent moons, and is the symbol of the Goddess ( )=maiden, 0=mother, (=crone) and Pagan/Wiccan religious beliefs.
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