|I wonder, though, do husbands just need a certain amount of space that is theirs to store junk in and that their wives will never attempt to clean?
When my dh (
husband) and I first got married, we had to combine two households. I had been living in my apartment for YEARS, and he in his for YEARS. I really had no idea just how much stuff he had. When the moving truck arrived, I was over there to help.
OMG! It was coming out of the kitchen cabinets, the closets, the linen closet, just bags and crates of crap! I was astonished at how much junk one man could have. I tried and tried to get him to reduce some of this stuff before he moved into our house, but he wouldn't. When we got to our house with the truck, I remembered we had two storage rooms in the garage, and basically we hooked up the washer and dryer in MY storage room, and all his crap went into his storage room.
I had so few things to move into the house except the furniture, dishes and pots, small appliances and rugs. I had clothing and about 10 small boxes of knick knacks which were sentimental. I also had a piano and one bookcase of music books.
He literally had garbage, and bags and bags of those plastic grocery bags.
Well, it certainly wasn't a great way to start a marriage.
At some point I tossed all the garbage and he was so mad.
We both had furniture. My furniture was in excellent condition, and he had bought his ...all of it...for about $50. It was junk. He was emotionally attached to it and I just couldn't understand it. We had agreed that we would sell his furniture, and keep mine. When it came down to it, at the moment that the people were paying way too much for it, he almost backed out! We didn't even have room for both sets. Fortunately he did sell it and I was very relieved. He told me no matter what, that he wanted to keep his bed, and so we stored it in the his storage room. We moved it with us everywhere we have moved. That and all the crap he never got rid of. It had an impact on our marriage.
You know, I think when men get married, they are happy, but there is a part that doesn't want to let go of their bachelor life. I think he wanted to keep all that junk because it reminded him of when he still had full control of his life. Getting married means comprimise, and while most men want to do that, they feel like they have to hang on to their crap. I saw a show once where the husband kept all his stuff in one of those monthly storage rooms that has the pull up door. He arranged it like an apartment, and spent HOURS there playing games, listening to his music and inviting his friends over to his secret pad. His wife didn't know about it and when she finally did know, she was livid. I think what came out of that was that he still needed to hold on to some of his past, to remember the day when he didn't need to ask his wife first before doing something.
For some reason, women move into marriage prepared for comprimise, and men have to slowly move into that position. My husband didn't want to lose control of his old life, and must have had alot of reluctance to get married even though he asked me to marry.