Ugh! I don't think it's going to happen... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-20-2005, 02:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really really wanted to declutter and have an organized home by the time this new little one arrives in May...it's just not working. : It seems like the more we try to organize, the bigger the job gets. I did manage to get rid of 4-30 gallon trash bags of clothes from my closet. : Is that crazy or what?! But there is still...the garage, the basement, the office...at night I feel the piles and piles of clutter weighing on me. Ack! How in the world will I ever get it done with a toddler and an infant? I wish I could just call someone to come and do it for me, but there doesn't seem to be such a person...believe me, I have looked. :LOL I guess this is just a vent. I wish it didn't affect me so much. {{{sigh}}}

Tina ~ SAHcarrot.gif- head Mama to - 

  DS blowkiss.gif(07/'03), DD energy.gif(05'05), DS, unplanned UC sleepytime.gif(01/'09), DD joy.gif(06/'11) ...

SURPRISE!  dizzy.gifNew little one, due Sept. 2013

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#2 of 5 Old 04-20-2005, 10:02 PM
 
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So maybe you can't get it ALL done before the little one arrives- you can still do something!!! Break it up into baby steps and do what you can.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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#3 of 5 Old 04-21-2005, 11:38 AM
 
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I am in the same boat as you mama. I have until June.

With a toddler that wants to be in the middle of every project that I am working on (with me constantly saying - Please do not touch, Let's not do this, Play with this instead honey....) and a DH that is going through an aquisition that is requiring him to work many 16 hour days and weekends - I too have often said - I can't!

They key thing that is getting me through the seemingly endless clutter and the newly appearing piles/projects is - I CAN, I AM and I WILL. If we tell ourselves "I can't" then we usually don't. I am terribly bad about doing this to myself and sometimes to my hubby or even going along with it when talking to friends in similar situations.

I am slowly (and really late in the 9 month ballgame) seeing that "I CAN" is extremely motiviating and enabling. I seem to find ways to get things done that an hour ago or last week when I was saying "I can't" and just seemed too overwhelming to approach. They are still overwhelming mind you, and take a while to get through, but the "I CAN" gives me a light or a clarity. As I work through the project, I get a sense of peace and accomplishment.

I made the mistake of not being serious enough in the first pregnancy about decluttering and organizing before DS got here. I used my medical condition and physical limitations much of the time as my excuse to myself. Well, DS is 19 months old and I have regretted it pretty much the entire 19 months. I find my frustration with the "state" of things or not being able to get things done effectively or quickly, seems to flow over into my demeanor. I get fussy, less patient, etc. I see this in my reactions to say my DS or my DH and even the traffic!

One of the most alarming things I have learned from this is that the "sate" of my home, my personal space, my car, my schedule has a direct reflection on my patience. I am a much more patinet person when ther is a similance of organization, lack of clutter, etc. (I by no means and referring to total organization - HA that won't happen, it is reality!). I have the same medical condition and limitations with this pg and have to remind myself daily that "it" is not an excuse.

I KNOW this will be a nearly impossible task to take on with an infant and a toddler, so I have to get it done while the circumstances are as ideal as they will get.

I hope this gives you some motivation and insight into the world of a mama that said "I can't".

Lastly, pat yourself on the back for each little or big thing that you do get done! HURRAY for you getting all of those clothes outta there!!!!!!! The self praise is vital. Saying "I DID" : is as important as "I CAN"!

If you want or need to chit chat about this or the frustrations that you run into, feel free to PM or email me. Shoot, I could use the chit chat myself. I need constant reminders that I am in the "I can't" mode.

Good luck with this mama!
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#4 of 5 Old 04-23-2005, 03:13 AM
 
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You don't have to get it ALL done. Look how much progress you have made already! That is something to be proud of. It is OK for your home to be a work in progress.
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#5 of 5 Old 04-24-2005, 02:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mamas!
Whimsy, I could have written lots of your post. I was on strict bed rest for 6+ with ds (21 months). I just kept thinking, "why wasn't all this organizing and decluttering important to me before I was pregnant." :LOL It is amazing how much it affects me patience-wise as well. I just love the feeling of organization.

Tina ~ SAHcarrot.gif- head Mama to - 

  DS blowkiss.gif(07/'03), DD energy.gif(05'05), DS, unplanned UC sleepytime.gif(01/'09), DD joy.gif(06/'11) ...

SURPRISE!  dizzy.gifNew little one, due Sept. 2013

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