Having trouble decluttering the toys - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 06-09-2005, 05:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BowNessMonster
I box them up every so often and rotate&donate.

I will never forget the day I gave away Curly Sue It was dd's first dolly love; Nana had given her to DD. She was "just" a thrift store dolly, nothin' special (to me anyway ) with annoying felted hair that I could never brush through. She got another dolly for her birthday and I slipped Curly Sue into the outgoing box. When dd noticed, it was utter devastation. "but Mama! I loved Curly Sue!!!" She still, to this day many years later, sees pics of her 'nursing' Curly Sue and gets sad and asks why I gave her away. The only thing that gives her any comfort is that I told her Curly Sue belongs to a little girl now who had never had a dolly before and it made Curly Sue happy to go and love her.

That right there (!!!) is what I'm afraid of. It's what stalls me in my zealous efforts.

Actually, it happened to me too. . . .
I had an original, cloth-faced, signed Cabbage Patch Doll that my mother bought for me when I was about 8 or 9. I'll never forget the day she took me to pick it up . . . . it's a really sweet memory of my childhood, especially since my mother passed away suddenly three years ago.

Well, lss, my dd was given a plastic-faced Cabbage Patch Doll a few years ago. I had given that one to a friend not long after getting it (we didn't need two) and then, one day, was cleaning up/letting go/packing boxes really fast because I was overwhelmed by the clutter and the decisions, etc., when I hurriedly put the (cloth-faced) doll into one of the boxes without even glancing twice (but all I did was glance) and thinking it was the plastic-faced doll, and forgetting that I'd already passed that one on. Dropped the stuff off at Goodwill and never thought twice. . . . until, three days later, I was washing the dishes. . humming a tune. . . had 5 or 6 dc in my house from friends dc coming over to play (their mamas were working). . . . and then I suddenly realized!!! Felt my heart sink and my stomach lift.
I couldn't just jump in the car b/c I had all these dc over and not enought seatbelts or I might have even considered it! I had to wait until the last child was picked up that day. When I called on the phone, no one spoke English that they could find, and I don't speak Spanish, so I couldn't communicate with them that way.
Unfortunately, by the time I got to the Goodwill at the end of the day, she was long gone. By then, there was an English-speaking manager there. He said, "Oh yeah, I remember that doll. We threw her in the dumpster b/c she had no clothes on -- we can't sell dolls without clothes on, nobody buys them." And the dumpster had already been emptied.
How ironic, I told the guy, b/c even without clothes on, that doll was worth several hundred dollars! (They only sell the CLOTHED dolls for a couple of dollars at this place!)

But, of course, the doll was priceless to me and I would never have sold her or given her away, consciously.

Gives me panic feelings and post-traumatic-stress feelings b/c I have that doll emotionally tied to my mother, and losing both of them. Makes it hard to decide even MORE now that that's happened.

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading a chapter of my life.
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#32 of 41 Old 06-09-2005, 06:04 PM
 
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May May, I'm sorry that happened to you. I constantly try to convince myself that it's the memory, not the object, that matters. It's hard, though.
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#33 of 41 Old 06-09-2005, 06:20 PM
 
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May May s

I'm almost in tears! My mom accidentally threw away a doll I would've liked to have kept (I formed my imaginary friend in her image).
But that's the thing, my mom and I saved ALL my toys, and just recently she's started going through my stuff and donating things that haven't been payed with in a decade, but aren't what i want my kids to play with...
including an old FP farm. Sorry those old fp little people are hazards, and we have almost no plastic toys.
So, I regret saving everything, and yet I also regret one simple item that got donated...
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#34 of 41 Old 06-11-2005, 02:31 AM
 
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Oh MAN!!! That's awful

I have some My Little Ponies from my childhood that I've passed on to dd...but they aren't the good ones at all. I had like 60 of them, and a LOT of accessories. I gave them away when I was 14 to a family friend whose mom had been murdered by her dad, because they had nothing for Xmas...I don't regret that, but I wish I'd kept Starshine at least, my very first pony ever... Ironically, I packed the ponies into the garage in my pre-bday decluttering of dd's room and then what does she get for gifts? LOL - PONIES!!! So she asked for the rest, of course...

I also wish that I'd kept my Barbies. I had tons and great clothes, lots hand made by my Grandma. (I know, I know, Barbie Barbie Barbie LOL, but I *loved* barbie and so does dd!).
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#35 of 41 Old 06-11-2005, 12:44 PM
 
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Thanks, mamas.

It's nice to feel heard and supported about this -- it felt pretty traumatic at the time. . . .

The truth is, though, that from reading about decluttering, it seems it's always emotionally challenging to let go of the stuff you DO want to (but are still somewhat attached to) and that it never gets any easier. (This is almost a direct quote from Don Aslett's books.)

So I'm bracing myself to get ready for letting go of things that are very sentimentally valuable to me, but that we just have too much of. TOYS are a big one in our house -- WAAAY too many.
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#36 of 41 Old 06-20-2005, 01:36 AM
 
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I think this is my first post here at mothering; I can't believe I haven't really checked out these forums before now! (Edited to add - okay, no, it's my third - the first two must have been a long time ago!)

What a sad story, May May. My parents didn't save anything of mine, and I wish, sometimes, I had at least SOMETHING to pass on to my children...who, however, already have too much and probably wouldn't appreciate it. I'm sorry you lost something that was such a tangible reminder of your mom.

This has been a struggle of mine, as I have three children and a range of toys for different ages. DD2 is almost 1 year old, and I admit that I have already boxed up a small amount of baby toys to sell on craigslist. I worry that I'm doing it too quickly, but I tell myself that I'm not selling ALL of her toys and there are plenty awaiting her.

I have noticed that when I remove toys from circulation, and empty their playroom out a bit, that they still happily find things to do - play with remaining toys, play with each other, go outside (but in central FL, that's not always fun to do in the summer), or their favorite, find the craft scissors and cut up endless amounts of paper. It's hard, though, when you think about how much was paid for something, but curiously, as I have started packing things away, and started reclaiming some space in that too-cluttered room, I have found that it is more peaceful in there, and they are more inclined to play in there, when there is less *stuff* in there. And BTW, the entire room is all toys - some shelves to hold the toys, a kid desk, a kid-sized table and chairs, and a train table-turned-playmobil staging area.

Someone mentioned boxing items up for the grandkids. ...I just did that! And it was so surreal to me - definitely "a moment". I boxed up ds's playmobil - the big machines (he still plays with the knights, vikings and pirates), mainly - because he doesn't really play with them anymore. Of course, if dd2 seems interested in any of that, I'll gladly pull it all back out, but otherwise, it's going in storage.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble here - I think I'm going to have to be visiting a lot, as the toy room is just the tip of the iceberg - my whole house needs to be clean swept. :
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#37 of 41 Old 06-20-2005, 12:13 PM
 
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Thanks for your kind words, mama.

And I know what you mean about the 'whole house' part. I am sooo there too! I find that, whether it's toys or whatever, it's good to take it slow, for me. I like just doing a little at a time. I'm finding that just sitting and meditating on a room and it's clutter really helps me to hone in on the items that need to go. That way, I don't pass anything on that I didn't really mean to (not going to let that happen again!) and I also don't overwhelm myself with the decision-making aspect (what will be passed on and where will it go).
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#38 of 41 Old 06-21-2005, 03:34 PM
 
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Sometimes when I don't want to store an item I'll probably never use but am very emotionally attached to (like an old toy or something that belonged to a grandparent), I take a good quality photo of it, and let it go. The photo is enough to make me happy.
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#39 of 41 Old 06-22-2005, 11:41 AM
 
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My dd had to visit the ER three times last year for astham attacks and once got admitted. The time she got admitted, they gave her a little bean bag puppy to play with, and when she went up to her room for the night the ER staff said she could keep the puppy. I was surprised because it seemed used and worn to me so thought it must be for kids to play with when they are there. But at any rate it made a huge difference for my dd to have that puppy - she really focused on it.

I have trouble decluttering her toys too, for many of the reasons already mentioned. But I was able to cull out two bags full of her stuffed animals that all looked like new and bring them to the hospital. It made it easier to give up the stuffed animals knowing first hand how they might really make a difference for a kid who winds up in the hospital!

Rockin' mama to Allison (9), Asher (5) and Alethea (3), head over heels in love with my sexy husband, Tony.

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#40 of 41 Old 06-22-2005, 02:36 PM
 
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My son asked for a toy today that he hasn't seen in over 6 months. So, the three month rule might not be best for everyone... Although, in reality, if I told him someone else had it and loved playing with it, he'd probably be just fine.
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#41 of 41 Old 06-23-2005, 12:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wugmama
My dd had to visit the ER three times last year for astham attacks and once got admitted. The time she got admitted, they gave her a little bean bag puppy to play with, and when she went up to her room for the night the ER staff said she could keep the puppy.

But I was able to cull out two bags full of her stuffed animals that all looked like new and bring them to the hospital. It made it easier to give up the stuffed animals knowing first hand how they might really make a difference for a kid who winds up in the hospital!
What a great idea! I just removed a large bag of stuffed animals that my dd claims she doesn't want. I'll go through them and pull out a few that I suspect she'll be asking for later on, and take the rest to the hospital. BTW, I did the same for some children's books; when my ds had to vist the ER a couple years ago, they had a large stack of children's books from which to choose (kids could take them home, too). I went through my ds' books and took a bag full over there, so thanks for the reminder.
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