I'm in a similar situation....two 6-year-olds and a 3 month old baby. We just bought a home (end of May) and we also have two pets! DH has two jobs, days during the week, nights on Sat and Sun, and he goes to school three weeknights. Needless to say, he is unable to help with my overwhelmingness!
I've come up with somewhat of a plan because I noticed that I wasn't really getting ANYTHING done because I was soooo overwhelmed.
What I did is break down chores. I made a list (I love lists!
: ) of daily chores (ex~dishes, laundry, take out trash if can is full, water plants).
Then I made a list of weekly chores. For example, I wrote out~Monday~pay bills, return email/phone calls, balance checkbook, wash sheets. Tuesday~clean toilets, tubs, and bathroom sinks. Wednesday~dust, sweep, mop......you get the idea.
Then I walked through the house room by room, closet by closet (even outdoors) and made a list of EVERYTHING that I saw that I wanted to do/needed to be done (we bought a fixer-upper). These incude things such as: organize sewing area, wash windows, repair screens, clean ceiling fans, weed the area by the deck, hang curtains in living room, paint kitchen, etc.
I broke these down into very individual, specific tasks. Like hanging curtains. Yeah, we need to hang curtains in every room, but just writing "hang curtains" was too overwhelming for me. If I see that I need to just "hang curtains in the living room", it seems like a task I can accomplish and I'm more apt to get it done.
That being said, when I wake up in the morning, I look at my 3 lists. First I accomplish everything on the "daily chores" list, then I move on to the "weekly chores" list. If I get all these done, GREAT.....if not, the dirt will still be there next week! If I do, by chance, get my daily and weekly chores done, then I pick something from the BIG list to get done. Like yesterday, I got all my chores done and then sewed up a plastic bag holder (which was on my big list of things to do) and cleaned up all those plastic bags we had wadded up in a corner.
As for the kids (we homeschool too).....we eat meals around the same time each day and they go to bed around 8:30-9:00. I don't usually worry about them getting dressed and things unless we are going somewhere. They know they have to get dressed before they go outside and so they do this on their own.
Anyway~just some things that I've come up with that worked for me. I'll definetly be watching this thread for more ideas!