Anyone else live with slobs? I need to vent. - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-18-2005, 06:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We live with our inlaws to save money. It's agreed that this is a roommate situation and that everyone has to do their part. Well my inlaws are complete slobs and it's very frustrating. I'll clean and basically unless I clean it, it doesn't get cleaned again. My MIL told me that she would vacuum the living room before I came home from the hospital with the baby. She had the vacuum sitting in the living room but didn't actually use it. I told her a few times over the next two weeks to do and and she never did, finally I started to do it then she finally took the vacuum after I was halfway done with it. Then when I got angry with her for messing up the kitchen I just cleaned and told her that I'm sick of her not cleaning up her crap she said "I clean all the time, I just vacuumed the other day" uuh yeah, after I did half of it.

I stopped taking turns with the dishes. I never leave a dish in the sink, and never eat until the pots and pans are washed first. Well she hardly does dishes and lets them pile up, finally I had to tell her that she gets one sink and I get the other and no more taking turns because I was ending up doing them all the time. They let theirs pile up for days then tries to say that some of them are mine. GRRR

I'm not a dirty person, my home is usually spotless. I can't stand to look at the mess around here but at the same time it's not fair that I should have to do all the cleaning. No one has even cleaned the kitchen or bathroom besides me since being here. And when I do clean I don't even get a thank you.

This might seem kind of petty and I'm sure some of you might say that I shouldn't complain because we live here rent free but I would like to say that they wouldn't have this house if we hadn't helped. They paid cash for it (so there is no morgage at all) and DH quit his job (making $2500 a month)and came down here (from WA) to help renovate it. During that time I had to move in with my MIL and pay almost twice as much in bills because she couldn't afford to live where she was living on her own. We have bent over backwards to help them so they owe it to us to let us live here while we renovate our own home as was our agreement when we agreed to help them out years ago.

I would also like to say that MIL doesn't work and FIL rarely works and does odd jobs to get the bills paid but he's also home the majority of the time. Every month we pay our share of the bills but they slack on theirs, so when a big shut off notice comes in the mail guess who usually has to pay it (because they don't have the money) Us. I use to just give them cash for our share but I found out they weren't paying the bills with it so I started to just call and pay with my debit card instead to make sure it actually gets paid. Extremely frustrating.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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Old 07-18-2005, 06:50 AM
 
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Wow, that DOES sound frustrating. Are you thinking of moving soon to your own place? It doesn't really sound like you're saving muh money living there - at least not enough to make it worth it. I know in my case, I can deal with my own family's mess but I have a difficult time tolerating it from other people.

We lived with another couple for a short while before we moved here (while we were selling our house). Now, we stayed in their home, so I had no room to say anything, but they were messy people. In the kitchen, anyway. The rest of the house was fine, but the kitchen got the most use and the most mess the quickest. Dishes everywhere, the kitchen a mess (she was an amazing cook). I was almost compulsive about picking things up after they were used. I was her soux (sp?) chef in that way, I'd follow her around cleaning up after she cooked. I loaded and did the dishes every day and would go around the house and find all of the used dishes to make a full load in the dishwasher. I think my cleaning up all the time drove them as crazy as their leaving stuff around did me.

But in my case it was a very temporary situation and since it was their house, it didn't really get to me too much. But if we all had to really LIVE together? I just don't think it ever could have worked.

And when a baby is involved? I think it must be that much more stressful. (for you).
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Old 07-18-2005, 09:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chasmyn
Wow, that DOES sound frustrating. Are you thinking of moving soon to your own place? It doesn't really sound like you're saving muh money living there - at least not enough to make it worth it. I know in my case, I can deal with my own family's mess but I have a difficult time tolerating it from other people.
I had thought about it but it would cost us at least $500 extra to live on our own and that would really cut into our house repairing. As it is it's probably going to take at least a year before our home is complete (we are paying for supplies as we go along and DH is doing the work on his days off) I'm just going to have to suck it up until we get the house done.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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Old 07-18-2005, 01:53 PM
 
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Yep they sound like slobs

And there's not much you really can do but do the dishes, and try to accept it. They have helped you out and its temporary, don't think of it as roommates think of it as 'camping'

Okay so put your resources and effort into getting dh going on fixing the house! Or see if you can trade your services for some house help, it sounds like FIL is midly handy. Offer to clean the house, do the dishes if FIL gives you the same hours of work with the dh at the house?

8 might be enough
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Old 07-18-2005, 02:11 PM
 
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It's even worse because nce you leave... they're still family!

I hope you find the grace to just suck it up while you're there. I think having the BABY is what makes it so hard. You're (justifiably) looking for some HELP in taking care of the home from your maternal elder, and when she's sitting there gleefully adding : to the chaos, you're disappointed and frustrated.

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Old 07-18-2005, 07:24 PM
 
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Oh, so you do have a house to go to eventually, once you get it fixed up - that is a good thing at least. Light at the end of the tunnel? I imagine it looks so far away though, that end.

I can so imagine how frustrating this must be. Have you tried talking to them - or having DH talk to them about it? It sounds like you probably have, though. And no resolve. It's just so hard when it's their house - even if you are paying the better portion of the bills they can still say that it's their house, their rules, etc.

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