How many toys do a 7 yo need? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 08-18-2005, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been lurking here at MDC and finally decided to join society!

I have been on a rampage lately... we have too much STUFF! UGH!

We have been successful purging through our stuff but my 7 yo is a different matter. She is quite materialistic. We realized we have a problem when the other week, we left a store and I wouldn't buy her a new pegasus (from the new barbie movie coming out) and in the car she whines that she only has 1 pegasus and she had to have *that* one.

So I have 4 big boxes of toys I want to sell off... but I have a couple of questions...

1) How do I sell them (we really really need the money ATT) and not have to deal with her whining about them? Right now they are in a storage unit (yup! a storage unit we can't afford) because she kept getting into the boxes and taking toys out of the boxes!

2) Even with purging these toys, she still has "Toys R Us" in her room. What does a 7 yo really need? She has a wide range of interests (Barbies, Sweet Streets, dogs, horses, dress up, etc.). She also gets lots from her bio dad, her na-na, etc.

We do have issues with her in other ways (she's in counseling because of other issues) so I think by simplifying her life, it will help cut out the chaos in her mind. I hope...

Any thoughts, ideas, or just plain encouragement?
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#2 of 11 Old 08-18-2005, 12:59 AM
 
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I definitely think by simplifying what she has, it will help her in all areas of her life. I know I get overwhelmed when I have too much "stuff". Here is what I did recently and it's working out GREAT!. I bought one of those organizer/sorter things from Target. It has several bins. I filled it with my ds's favorite toys and whatever didnt fit, I bagged up and donated! I did this when my older son (5) wasnt around....he doesnt even notice any of the missing toys....but he has been playing in his room more now than ever before!!!! I would suggest maybe sticking to only 4 or 5 categories of toys.....and maybe let her pick what those categories are so she feels somewhat in control of what you're doing.......
You can always tell her you're donating the toys to the local childrens' hospital or something like that to make her feel like she's doing something good as well......good luck......you can do it!!!!!

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#3 of 11 Old 08-18-2005, 02:14 AM
 
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we just explain to my 6 yo how much roomwe have for toys and then talk to him about only keeping what we really need/enjoy. and then we talk about donating the eextras to goodwill....

sometimes when we are doinga purge, he will be really ruthless, and I have found myself putting things back! lol!
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#4 of 11 Old 08-18-2005, 02:42 AM
 
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I have a room of toys my kids rarely play with. I keep meaning to go through it since my youngest is 3 and some of them are for 18month olds, I just hate doing that job.

If these toys have been in storeage does she ask about them or has she forgotten they're there? My kids forget most of the toys they have until they go into the playroom and it's like Xmas all over again. If she doesn't remember them it'll be easier to get rid of them.

Alot of people do the giving toys to the needy kids thing in Dec.

My oldest will be 7 in Nov and though she loves her toys and is a packrat but is getting into other non-toy things now. For her bday we were given a bedframe that has the bed on top and a desk on the bottom, we're sanding/painting it and giving it to her for her bday. She's also getting a watch and I haven't figured out anything else yet but I'm thinking of surprising her with painting her room(she already has pink carpet) and then for Xmas getting her things to decorate it with. She gets enough toys from everyone else that we've stopped buying them for her. She's a girly girl and loves jewelry, clothes(especially if it sparkles, has fur or designs on it), mirrors, pretty much anything from those teen/jewelry stores in the mall, diary's, journals

Does your dd get an allowance or bday money? Perhaps if she really wants that toy she could earn money by doing chores so she can buy it herself. I know my dd sure changes her mind if I suggest she use her own money. All the sudden it just isn't that important to get that new toy anymore.

Could you talk to her bio-dad and grandparents to see if they'd put money into an education fund instead of buying presents(or half and half), or buying clothes or other things she needs. Will she need a new bike in the spring, can they give money to put her into an after school activity.
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#5 of 11 Old 08-18-2005, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF
If these toys have been in storeage does she ask about them or has she forgotten they're there?
Mine doesn't. She remembers and bugs me forever (whines) about going to get them! UGH!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF
Does your dd get an allowance or bday money? Perhaps if she really wants that toy she could earn money by doing chores so she can buy it herself. I know my dd sure changes her mind if I suggest she use her own money.
She doesn't get allowance yet - although we have been kicking the idea around a bit. When she does get money, she usually buys the first thing she sees and then later complains because she sees something else she wants instead. She hasn't learned the value of money or the art of patience. Saving is not in her vocabulary.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF
Could you talk to her bio-dad and grandparents to see if they'd put money into an education fund instead of buying presents(or half and half), or buying clothes or other things she needs. Will she need a new bike in the spring, can they give money to put her into an after school activity.
I've done this. But daddy does it because of guilt trips. I have asked him for help in other areas (i.e. extra curricular activites) but he doesn't help. Just buys toys. (But I posted this issue in the step-family forum! : )

So I'll keep working on purging. Is it wrong to purge when she's not there to have a say so? I mean, it will never go unless I do it behind her back?
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#6 of 11 Old 08-18-2005, 11:04 PM
 
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if they buy the toys for her they can keep them at their house
load up a big box for each of them, she has too many toys at home, I thought she should have more here ...

and since you bought these for her I thought it would be nicer!

8 might be enough
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#7 of 11 Old 08-19-2005, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That would work if we lived closer! Her na na lives in TX, her bio-dad in LA. We live in MI. She rarely sees them.
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#8 of 11 Old 08-19-2005, 03:10 AM
 
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Hey, good luck with this! I *highly* recommend selling as much as you can on eBay--eBay's made us so much $$ over the years. Whatever it is, just do a search and see if any others are listed and what they're selling for (you'd be SO surprised what sells). eBay $$ has paid our bills once or twice--it really makes a difference. You can let your dd spend the eBay profits too--maybe get some nice toy catalogs together and browse thru them, picking out say, one or two really nice toys in place of a boxful of junky cheapo ones. Try to get her to understand quality over quantity...?

Just last nite we were up until about 2:30am going thru Ian's stuff--he has SO much stuff. I was reading some Waldorf info the other day and I guess it inspired me, lol. So as we went thru everything I pointed out what was broken or looked poorly made, and made a point of asking whether he really liked this or that. He was more cooperative than I expected; we got about three full bags of stuff from his room to donate and he wasn't the least bit upset--in fact, I think he'll enjoy the rest of his stuff more now that it's not such a struggle to shut the drawers!

As for allowance--my son gets an allowance. Sure, the first month or two he was just compulsively buying the first thing he saw and/or whining HARD that we couldn't take him to the comic shop the instant the $$ touched his hand (action figures are really cheap there), but we refrained from lecturing, let him have fun, and tried to be patient. We usually don't stop for icees or cookies anywhere b/c I don't carry cash, but if we would be at the mall, he might say, "hey, can we get a pretzel?" And I might say, "oh, that would be good, huh? But I don't have any cash babe. Do you have any of your allowance with you, or did you leave it in the car?" Or I might buy him the pretzel w/a check and point out that it only costs $3, "and you have more than that in the car--cool, huh?" Etc.

He gets $4.50 a week now; it's been about 3 months since we started the allowance, and now the big thing is, he forgets his wallet at home a lot. But he's not whining about action figures anymore--he's thinking about prices and how many weeks he'd have to wait to buy X, and I've noticed that he usually keeps a buck or two un-spent in case he wants a soda or he and his sister want to buy lollies at the gas station--he's actually pretty generous w/his money. It's working pretty well so far.

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#9 of 11 Old 08-19-2005, 07:02 PM
 
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After a purge, tell her that for every toy that comes into the house, she must give one away or sell it. Be very firm, and hopefully she will "get it". Let family members know of the one toy in, one toy out rule too so that they understand that when they get her a toy, she will have to give up something else. After a while she may star complaining that people get her too many toys! Also, I like the idea of a sorter or toy box - tell her she can keep any toy she can fit in. This way she will only pick the most special items to keep.

HTH
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#10 of 11 Old 08-19-2005, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've done Ebay before but some of our stuff seems like such junk! But I know! One man's junk is another's treasure, huh? Thanks all for your advice!!
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#11 of 11 Old 08-21-2005, 07:49 PM
 
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lets see, my kids are 4, almost 7 and 8. They dont have "toys" They have a bunch of legos, a bunch of knex, a heap of stuffed animals, a couple of other building things, playdoh and all the fun things to do with them, some dinos and rain forest animals, blocks, wooden trains and that is about it. They have one small bucket in their room that holds "toys". Everything else is gone. The more stuff they had, the less they played. Right now they are on day three or four of constant lego play
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