You sound really frustrated, I totally can relate. I go crazy over having my dd keep the toy parts that belong to that toy in a container so she can find all the little parts. What helped me is, I do not let her bring her toys upstairs, she plays downstairs. Otherwise, I was spending time getting all the stuff from all over the house. Also, I try really hard to do the one toy at a time rule, however, it is hard to do. I put some of the puzzles and small part toys in an area where she would have to ask for it, this really helps because it allows me to make her put away something before she can play with the next toy. I also have a "sanity bin" that I throw everything in and hope that someday i can put it where it belongs. When I am pms ing this is really helpful, otherwise I can become a screaming mad woman! My dd is 4.5 and hates to put away anything, so I ask her to put 5 things away and I'll her with 10. Small bins from IKEA really help keeping all those tiny Barbie toys. Also, we use ziplock bags with the zipper to keep stuff and dump those in larger plastic tubs. Just today, my husband was yelling at her to clean up and I had to remind him that it was ok, she is so precious and life goes on. Take a deep breath and love them. Oh, and when she has a playdate, the friends mom call with a heads up, so the girls have to help clean up. I hope it helps. Do you have a sister or someone that can help, I always take advantage of that as well, my sisters are a lifesaver.