Why do we have such frivolous attachments? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-11-2005, 09:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It doesn't make any sense to me that a normal, clean-living-room-coveting woman would have such a strong attachment to a little stuffed dog that someone gave my son when he was born, or a journal that I haven't written in, read, or even looked at in over ten years. Why is it so hard to just throw this junk away?! How do you break your emotional attachments to things that bring back happy memories, or belonged to a loved one who has died?

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#2 of 5 Old 11-11-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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It's hard. It really is. I'm not sure how you break it, but I just have to be real with myself. Do I really need this tube of lipstick that I've worn once? No. I don't need these pants that haven't fit in 2 years, either. This book, which I've had for 4 years, never read, can go too.

Just think--will I miss it? When throwing away about half the stuff in our apartment when we moved, I had to remind myself that if I forgot that it exhists, I obviously don't need it. If I haven't thought about it in 6 months, then someone else can use it more than me.
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#3 of 5 Old 11-11-2005, 11:55 PM
 
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When I find myself clinging to something I know I should get rid of, I ask myself "if the house burned down and everything was lost, is this something I would really miss?" Most of the time the answer is "no."

I've also found that as I've started decluttering, I find it easier to get more and more hardnosed about what I keep. An example is my books. I've gone through in waves and each time got rid of books that I was more and more attached to and never thought I'd be able to give up. Know what? Haven't missed any of them.

Now if dh would just get rid of some of his crap....
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#4 of 5 Old 11-13-2005, 12:27 AM
 
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Why do we have such frivolous attachments? Because we're raised/live in a society that would have us believe that with stuff comes happiness. We're marketed to so effectively that we forget that these things are just things. (I just watched The Corporation... really made me think.)

I also find that the more I get rid of the more I want to get rid of, and I rarely miss anything I've sent off into the world.

My newest game is to see how hard it would be to get the item back if I needed it. All the videos, books, etc. can be obtained from the library. Clothes are easily found at the Good Will down the street. The rest of it is usually not all that necessary in any case.

Good luck!

Melanie
Magical Mama, joyfully home educating my three wonders: FR (12/02), EG (05/05), DK (06/09)
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#5 of 5 Old 11-14-2005, 02:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nova22
It doesn't make any sense to me that a normal, clean-living-room-coveting woman would have such a strong attachment to a little stuffed dog that someone gave my son when he was born, or a journal that I haven't written in, read, or even looked at in over ten years. Why is it so hard to just throw this junk away?! How do you break your emotional attachments to things that bring back happy memories, or belonged to a loved one who has died?
Well, I have a little stuffed rabbit from when i was 5 and I had tonsillitis and my mother smuggled in my best friend, who brought me the stuffed rabbit. When my husband first saw it, he thought, "Oh gross...I have to throw that out" as he found it in my son's room...until I stopped him. I'm glad my mother kept that rabbit for me and I'm glad that I still have it. [by the way, it is the only stuffed animal I saved from my childhood, but I used to have another, which my evil stepfather threw out...something my father won for me at a fair when I was a newborn, would have been nice to have still, but it's not here. ]

As for the journal, who knows, when you are 70 or 80, don't you think that it will be nice to read back in that journal? Or what about keeping it for your great-great-grandchildren...perhaps they will read it, think it's an amazing slice of life and will publish it. Or they will just save it as a postcard of days gone by.

I guess I'm not a good person to ask. (hee hee) But I think those two items ARE good things to save, they don't take that much space, can be easily stored in a box, hopefully, yet have stories of their own which you can pass on to your relatives.
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