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#1 of 27 Old 01-25-2006, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone here still using Flylady?

I keep subbing and un-subbing for years now It works when I do it, but I am never able to keep doing it. Yes, it's me whining, but I always end up finding myself resenting the fact that I have to clean. Period. Why wasn't I born stinking rich?

Anyway, I re-subbed a week or two ago. The emails are far fewer than I remember. The last time she had an email for every little thing. There were tons! She must have gotten some feedback on that because now I'm only getting about 10 a day. It doesn't matter to me because I still delete most of them I mostly read the testimonials but this time around I made a rule for myself. Every evening I delete everything in my Flylady folder whether I read it or not. Saves the email clutter (now if I could just do that for the rest of my inbox, )

I enjoy Kelly's special missions though. Not saying I do all of them, but we have done a few. One day was to go around the house and clean your door knobs. Now was that a job for a 7 year old or what? Gave her a cloth wet down with some water and almond dr. bronner's and she was in heaven.

I do a modified version of Flylady. I have my house divided into zones in the way that makes sense to me, not the Flylady ones. Also, I'm giving myself an entire week for deep zone cleaning. I do a little each day and try to involve the kids (anything that involves wiping or spraying or dusting they love). This week is the kitchen.

Day to day I'm doing a tiny job in one zone, like 15 minutes tops. I have a list set up, Monday thru Sunday, telling me what day to do what, so I just check that every morning. It's been trial and error, but I'm slowly whittling my list down to things I can actually do in that time frame. When I first joined Flylady you should have seen my ultra-amitious (intimidating!) control journal. Now it's more realistic (like today my mini job is that I just have to sweep two rooms).

Most of all, I totally love her ideas on perfection and how it SUCKS So if the day comes to an end and I haven't done what I was planning, or the week comes to an end and I didn't finish the entire zone list, I just move on. I don't save it, I don't decide to do twice as much the next day (thereby putting pressure on myself). I close that list (on the computer) and move on. That zone will always come around again in a week or a month and at least I did *something* this time around.

All her emails say something about "you're not behind, I don't want you to catch up". I love that


So, who else is attempting to Fly?
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#2 of 27 Old 01-25-2006, 03:17 PM
 
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I have tried FlyLady but it doesnt work for us and dh's schedule.


I am reading some books by Bonnie McCullough. They are olds books but they so much work for me I have made a 2 week cleaning schedule that works with dh's. Things arent perfect but they are soooo much better then they where.

I even have an organizer set up. Next year I think I will go with the daily one instead of the weekly one I have now. Its so cool to write things down and not have all these scraps of paper lying aorund to get lost and adding to clutter.
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#3 of 27 Old 01-26-2006, 01:58 AM
 
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I just started this out a few days ago. It seems a bit weird but I will try it. I acutally shined my sink for 2 days. I hate wearing shoes around the house so I think I will have to skip that....

How long have you done it? Is it working for you?
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#4 of 27 Old 01-26-2006, 02:05 AM
 
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I am a frequent sub and unsubber... she just does not do it for me.... I cannot wear shoes, I hate them. My house is so much cleaner now that my kids are older and I am older and I have given up on living in a clutter free home.

Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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#5 of 27 Old 01-26-2006, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Want2MakeAChange
How long have you done it? Is it working for you?
It's working for me because I don't do it exactly like she says I mostly read her stuff and take ideas and inspiration. How long I've done it depends, Like I said, I've been on and off her list for years. Some little bits have stuck all that time, but in the end I always drop off the routines. Which is sad because yes, my house is much nicer when I'm doing it. But then, each time I've dropped, I've kept a few more of her ideas so it's working in little bits This time I've been on for a few weeks (little more than 2?). My house is already looking better and the kids actually find Flylady fun (I really like her essays on not making your kids come to hate cleaning).

I started this time around because I'm having a really bad winter and am pretty depressed. I've tried doctors in the past and they are frickin useless so I'm on tons of supplements and trying to get my house in shape to see if that helps perk me up. Usually being depressed means my house gets worse (and it did for awhile there), but a few weeks ago I got some major bee in my bonnet about getting the place clean and suddenly I'm cleaning regularly. I won't say I'm happy and cheerful or anything, but not tripping on things in every room has at least kept me from getting pissed off regularly.

My sink is not always shiny (and we don't use bleach in this house). but I get what she means by it. I started making my bed every day because of her. She's right, make your bed and suddenly there's a huge expanse of prettiness in your room no matter how bad the rest is

Though I have to admit I do wear shoes all the time now I tried it out years ago on her advice and was surprised to find that the nasty skin on my feet got smoother. I don't have to bother with lotions and stuff as long as I wear shoes every day. I do like being bare foot so it's a trade off but for me it's worth it (I'm talking cracking heels and pain - gross stuff - and lotion doesn't do nearly as good a job as just wearing shoes).

Momto, what about on the computer? I have my control journal (schedule) on the computer and I just open the Word page to what I want for that day/week. As I do the items, I highlight them in red so I see what's getting done.
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#6 of 27 Old 01-26-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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i have looked at the site and read many posts about it. I don't think I quite get it. Does she just send out a dozen emails a day telling you what to clean in your house? I am not sure how that would be helpful.
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#7 of 27 Old 01-26-2006, 05:32 PM
 
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I've also been on and off Flylady. I couldn't handle the number of emails every day, so I stopped subscribing. I've definitely kept certain things though:

Cleaning the sink - when I'm overwhelmed with the mess, the sink is a great place to start - from there I clean the counters around the sink and stove, and then if I don't continue, at least I have a place to cook.

Hot spots - the dining table, the counter between kitchen and living room, and the entryway, they're just magnets for stuff, EVERY DAY. So if I can focus some energy there, at least it keeps the stuff moving....

making the bed - ShannonCC I totally agree about the clean expanse. It looks great.

Kelly's missions/zones - I just look them up rather than having them emailed.

Control journal - I just call them routines. I have a weekly routine rather than really a daily one.

Quote:
I won't say I'm happy and cheerful or anything, but not tripping on things in every room has at least kept me from getting pissed off regularly.
I can SOOOO relate to that - I've finally accepted that having things clean makes ME happier, noone else really cares all that much. I feel more stable, and it does cheer me up to come out in the morning and NOT have it be an ordeal to make a cup of tea.

I haven't seen the essays about not having your kids hate cleaning. Where are those? I need that!
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#8 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wausau, she's not for everyone If you have no problem cleaning she's probably not for you. Flylady is for those of us who look at a messy room and don't know where to start so we get overwhelmed and don't even try. She's very inspirational with her "just 15 minutes" and telling you not to worry about perfection, and just talking you through being totally overwhelmed.

Quote:
I've finally accepted that having things clean makes ME happier, noone else really cares all that much
You know, I wonder about this. It definitely makes me happy to have some order but my kids don't seem to care. At the same time, I grew up in an absolute pig sty and even if I didn't say anything at the time, I cared. It affected me. I wonder if it's the same for them and they do care, even if they don't realize it yet. But then, this house is no where near what I grew up in, so maybe it really isn't a big deal.

I don't think you need the emails either I just re-subbed this time because I enjoy the daily testimonials. I find them very inspirational (I don't think they're on the website are they?)

Urg, the children thing. I don't know if they are on the website (to be honest, I'm not overly familiar with the site). It's just that every time she writes about children it's very inspirational to me as a mother. It's funny so many people say you can't do Flylady with kids because you're neglecting them and I wonder if they're reading the same things I am!

First, she's big on modeling what you want your kids (or others) to do instead of nagging/lecturing/scolding. She's always saying if you want your kids to clean up, then YOU clean up, and model the habits you want them to pick up, and show them that cleaning can be something other than torture. She talks about how so many people blame others for the mess in their house when really you should start to change yourself first and be a good example for others to follow (like my mom always saying the house was a mess because of us kids - no kids have lived there for about 10 years now and it's still a filthy pit). Anyway, I've found this to be true with my kids at least. My dd thinks the idea of Flylady is really cool and whenever I do it she wants to help I'm not saying she does a huge amount of work and yeah, her room is still a mess, but when I clean, she often joins in, and I think that's very significant.

She also talks about how if you do cleaning in tiny bits (like her 15 minutes at a time thing) then you *won't* be cleaning all day long and you *will* have plenty of time for your kids. But then, like above, she suggests involving your kids so when you clean you're spending time with them too (again, not involving them by force, but by saying sure, come help, instead of "no, let me do it alone fast and then we'll do something fun" - which teaches them that cleaning is an awful, horrible thing that you have to get through before you can have fun).

And she wrote a lot about involving the kids by making it fun Find something for them to do that they'll enjoy. My kids love dusting and spraying. The other day my dd asked if she could wipe down the stove so I said sure (even though there were a ton of things I'd rather have gotten done - the important thing is she's cleaning and enjoying it!). And of course Flylady's ideas on perfection fit in here too. When my dd wiped the stove I didn't re-do it after her or point out things she missed. I just said thanks

I just searched her site and can't find anything she's written on kids, just some member tips. Bummer. I haven't seen any emails on kids since I re-joined a few weeks ago. This is all stuff I'm remembering from years back.
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#9 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 01:26 PM
 
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I am also a FlyBaby.
I started out last year and did it "religiously" for a long time. It totally worked for me, being a SAHM. They have ones that are modified for working mom's too, I think. Not positive, but I seem to remember something like that.

Lately I find myself deleting the testimonials and just doing the missions and different zone tasks. Maybe I should read them anyway? LOL Goodness knows I sure could use some inspiration lately!

When I first got PG this time I was very sick again..and with ZIP for energy, so I got off track. It's taken me a very long time to get back on the flylady wagon again, and I'm still not really "there". But I'm trying.

I also delete the ones that done get completed, like you do. My only real fault, that would make FlyLady cringe would be that instead of just doing the task for the day in that zone, I tend to NOT think my house is clean unless I do her detailed cleaning list for EACH room. KWIM? Kinda discouraging, if you're me, since I just can't feel good about my house and it's level of clean unless I get it ALL done...EVERY day. I TOTALLY need to let go of my perfectionism.

Sounds like it's back to reading testimonials for me.
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#10 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 02:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShannonCC

Momto, what about on the computer? I have my control journal (schedule) on the computer and I just open the Word page to what I want for that day/week. As I do the items, I highlight them in red so I see what's getting done.
I cant take the puter everywhere I go When I leave the organizer goes in my purse. When I am home it sits on the desk next to phone and puter. It has a section for note and addresses. Its wonderful to have all my info all in one place, kinda like a second brain.

Bonnie McCullough has a great ideas for using an organizer to it max. Tips such as writing down book tiles, wants, needs, ideas


I have a calendar on the puter that can pop up reminders that we also use.
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#11 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I cant take the puter everywhere I go When I leave the organizer goes in my purse.
I think we were talking of different things I thought you meant the cleaning list for the house and here I am wondering why you'd need to take that with you when you're leaving?

For me, I just prefer to do it all on the computer. I could print out my Flylady control journal thingie (which she suggests you do), but I haven't found a need to yet. For *me* the computer works

Quote:
I TOTALLY need to let go of my perfectionism.
Yup

I don't read all the testimonials, just the ones that speak to me.

I don't think they have non-SAH lists do they? My sister once said she couldn't do Flylady because she works and didn't get the reminders "on time". I said what, you think I sit here refreshing my email every 5 minutes to get them? It's not about doing them when they come in the email, it's about getting routines going, doing things in little bits, not getting overwhelmed, etc.
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#12 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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I guess you're right. I went back to the site and they DON'T have something more Working MOM friendly. How sad. I had thought they did. Well, someone should develop one for those mommies.

I shouldn't have deleted all of those testimonials from today and yesterday. I am needing some motivation right about now. LOL

I know this: I need to buy a timer like they have...or one similar. Guess I'll make a trip to Walmart or Target. LOL
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#13 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by JefsJen
I guess you're right. I went back to the site and they DON'T have something more Working MOM friendly. How sad. I had thought they did. Well, someone should develop one for those mommies.
But Flylady's point (Which you may disagree with of course ) is that there doesn't need to be a SAH-Flylady, a WOH-Flylady, a Homeschooling-Flylady, a SingleDadWhoWorksPartTimeInASupermarketAndAlternat eFridaysInTheCIA-Flylady. You don't have to follow her items at the exact time or in the right order. Her point is that you need to set up a morning routine that works *for you*. And an evening routine that works *for you*. And all the other routines that work for you and your house. Getting stuck in the "well I'm different so I can't do it" mindset is just what she refers to as whining Sure, a SAH mom has different issues than a WOH mom, but so do different SAH moms and different WOH moms work different schedules too. Everyone is unique so you have to adjust it to your life. I mean, otherwise, I'd have to spend all my time looking for a system just for Homeschooling, SAH moms who have playdates on Thursdays, ice skating on Tuesdays, go to the library on Mondays, etc. Not gonna happen

I was trying to explain that to my sister. It doesn't matter if (for example - just off the top of my head here) Flylady's laundry reminder comes in at 11:28 in the AM. It doesn't mean you have to do laundry at 11:28 in the AM or BAM you're off the system. It means that *when you get that message* it reminds you to *think* about laundry. So you get home from work at 3 am (she often works nights) and you log on and see the email about laundry. Now think, did you already do it? Do you need to do it? Is it not a laundry day for you? Whatever. Think about it and delete But my sister and others don't get it and focus on the idea that you have to do things at the "right" time. Seriously though, I hope there isn't anyone out there who *does* sit at their computers waiting for reminders

Oy, I'm souding like a flylady freak now, I don't think she's a Goddess or anything and frankly, sometimes the woman just annoys me. I just like the system. It's not even her system It was started by two women who called themselves Sidetracked Home Executives. But they did it on index cards and Flylady took it to the computer.
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#14 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 05:50 PM
 
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I tried flylady for a while. I WOH and I just found the email to be overwhelming. I did manage to get dh to adopt the habit of shining the sink every night

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#15 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 05:54 PM
 
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Shannoncc,

I want my cleaning list written down in my daily organizer.
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#16 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 07:18 PM
 
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Okay, I've always wondered this and this thread seems like a good place to ask--what's with the shoes? What is the reasoning behind wearing shoes all day? That seems so weird to me.
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#17 of 27 Old 01-27-2006, 11:59 PM
 
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FWIW, I have the paperback and there IS an entire chapter devoted to people who work outside of the home (referred to as "Payroll SHEs).

I'm definitely not what one would even call a "flybaby", but I find her general message to be confirming and encouraging... my house looks better, but I think it was my decision to finally get my house under control that has done that... and that's probably what made me buy this book, too. A good read, but try to check it out or borrow it. I don't think I need to keep it around since most of the stuff is on the web.

Darci

Raising our babies: 2003, 2004, 2006, 2008, 2010, and 2012
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#18 of 27 Old 01-29-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lckrause
Okay, I've always wondered this and this thread seems like a good place to ask--what's with the shoes? What is the reasoning behind wearing shoes all day? That seems so weird to me.
I've been doing FL for about a year. I can actually answer this! She says that "shoes on your feet tell your brain it's time to work."

Honestly, I don't even wear lace up shoes OUT of the house, so I only wear sandals inside as well. But I have adopted the principal of getting dressed first thing when I get up--I nurse the baby, then we get up and get showered and dressed and try to get moving for the day. Otherwise I'd just be lazing all day in my pajamas and would end up never going anywhere and getting depressed. That is part of why she came up with that too--she went through a major depression and was hospitalized and they made them get dressed and made up every day.

Whoops, baby is crying, got to go!
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#19 of 27 Old 01-29-2006, 11:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, what she said The idea being that if you get dressed and wear shoes (and make up if you do that - I don't) then you are more motivated and feel like you're ready to do things. If you stay in your jammies, unshowered, unshod, you just loll around all day. Which is good sometimes of course And of course there are people out there who can walk around in jammies and barefeet every day and still get things done.

I find her history inspirational. Flylady suffered through serious depression as Kavita said, but she also left an abusive husband and at one time her house was a cluttered hole. Not that I wish those sorts of things on anyone, but at least it's not some perfect person who's had an easy life and just needed help getting her baseboards cleaned or something.
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#20 of 27 Old 01-29-2006, 04:32 PM
 
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I joined yesterday and cleaned my sink!
I think if I put too much hope into flylady I will just disappoint myself so I am trying to do her 31 tips for 31 days thing (although I'm still in my pyjamas ) but I won't beat myself up over it if I am not perfect.

Oh. Did anyone else laugh when you read the part about going to bed at the same time every night?
She obviously doesn't have an infant

mama to 8 year old h  and 3 year old z

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#21 of 27 Old 01-29-2006, 09:19 PM
 
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And here I thought it had something to do with shoes giving you better posture or something.
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#22 of 27 Old 01-29-2006, 09:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ShannonCC
I just searched her site and can't find anything she's written on kids, just some member tips. Bummer. I haven't seen any emails on kids since I re-joined a few weeks ago. This is all stuff I'm remembering from years back.
There are several links in the "Table of Contents" (on the left of the homepage) about FLYing w/ Children.

http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_Expecting.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_Baby.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_Preschoolers.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_Children.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_Teenagers.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_HS.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/AskFlyLady8.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyFocus4.asp

And there is also a section regarding "Payroll SHEs" in there too.

http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_PayRollshes.asp
http://www.flylady.net/pages/chaos_control.asp
http://www.flylady.net/images/OCJ.pdf
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#23 of 27 Old 01-29-2006, 09:36 PM
 
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I'm a FLYBaby and am loving it. There are days when I don't feel like doing it, but when I just get off my butt and DO IT, my house looks better and I feel better.

I tried "adapting" it to my liking, but I found that it didn't work. If I just do what she says it does work!
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#24 of 27 Old 01-30-2006, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ryleeee
but I won't beat myself up over it if I am not perfect.
You have the attitude down already

SaraMama thanks! I'll check them out later and see if any are what I was thinking of.
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#25 of 27 Old 01-30-2006, 12:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Aw bummer, not what I want. I checked them and they are all member tips. Which might be useful, I don't know, but it's Flylady essays I wanted. I think she doesn't keep them on the site maybe? But I know she's gone into detail many times on not yelling/nagging/threatening our kids into doing things. About making housework a natural part of life and even something that can be FUN - not drudgery. About not holding kids to perfect standards and nitpicking their efforts. Stuff like that.
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#26 of 27 Old 01-30-2006, 12:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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See, I write all that above and then this morning get an email from Kelly (one of the Flylady helpers) about throwing her dd's backpack out the door when she didn't remember to put it away. Sigh. That's not the message I'm getting from MARLA (the Flylady) at all. Sometimes I wonder if these women are on the same page,
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#27 of 27 Old 01-30-2006, 05:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShannonCC
You know, I wonder about this. It definitely makes me happy to have some order but my kids don't seem to care. At the same time, I grew up in an absolute pig sty and even if I didn't say anything at the time, I cared. It affected me. I wonder if it's the same for them and they do care, even if they don't realize it yet.
Good point - my dd actually DOES care and so does dh. When things are clean, everyone is happier. BUT it seems like I'm the one who cares enough to do something about it. I used to really resent that, but now I'm just accepting that since it's important to ME I'm just going to do it.

Lately, I am working on enlisting their help more. Now that things are a little more organized, it's easier to SAY what will help, rather than just throwing up my hands in frustration! DD is interested in helping if she knows what to do and it's not just mom being grumpy and resentful. I would still be interested if you do find essays about kids helping though. I liked the member tips too - it's pretty long though!
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