DH totally supports MY decluttering...but has jumped ship on his 'stuff' - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 02-11-2006, 11:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay dh totally supports me unloading my crap.
but his crap is sacred...sigh... he's got too much crap.
I don't even mind buying replacement stuff like for the half full drill bit set..
but he gets pissy.

what do I do?
He has one room of just his crap.
the biggest bedroom total crap.

8 might be enough
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#2 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 12:39 AM
 
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Honestly? Just keep working on yours. If you still have crap of your own in the house (stuff that you actually think is clutter and needs to be gone) then I wouldn't focus on anyone else's until you're done. Sort of a beam in your own eye thing, yk? Also, when you do finally clear yours, his will stand out all that much more and he'll be more likely to get on board
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#3 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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I agree ... finish your decluttering project and hopefully it will inspire him. Would he let you consolidate all his clutter to one area? That would help fully declutter the rest of your home and also maybe get him to realize just how much junk he has!
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#4 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 01:02 AM
 
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I have the same problem. My dh has way too much crap. : I finally talked him into getting rid of some of it. I'm hoping to really declutter this spring, the clutter is really getting to me.
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#5 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
I'm hoping to really declutter this spring, the clutter is really getting to me.
Yeah the better I get at tossing my stuff the more his stuff bugs me!
I just want to get our life to where we can use the squarefootage we got.
He is consolidating his stuff into his 'office' fearful I will just go through it all I guess lol.

But it irks me he has his own room in some ways I mean its wasted space as he works all the time anyhow...grrr... But sigh. Why my stuff is useless (kitchen stuff etc) but owning 45,000 screws, nails for apartment dwellers is sacreligous to ask him to sort through it all! Oh well he's going to have to.
Or I just might

8 might be enough
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#6 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 01:49 AM
 
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Spring cleaning :

Springs a commin

I say declutter your stuff first then if the eye sore of his stuff doesnt get him in gear I would do it for him.
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#7 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 11:38 AM
 
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I don't know how bad your dh is, but a whole room sounds like a lot of stuff. My mom is a terrible pack rat. It's hard to understand this, but I know it has nothing to do with wanting the stuff, it goes much deeper. There is a book out there (can't remember title or author, and not at home at the moment) who helped me understand, at least a little how to deal with this. Her best advice is to just help the person organize the stuff so it's easier for everyone to deal with and the person who doesn't want to get rid of stuff doesn't feel forced to part with things.

Kat - mama to Clara (9/29/03): & Iris (5/30/06)
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#8 of 11 Old 02-12-2006, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know how bad your dh is, but a whole room sounds like a lot of stuff. My mom is a terrible pack rat. It's hard to understand this, but I know it has nothing to do with wanting the stuff, it goes much deeper. There is a book out there (can't remember title or author, and not at home at the moment) who helped me understand, at least a little how to deal with this. Her best advice is to just help the person organize the stuff so it's easier for everyone to deal with and the person who doesn't want to get rid of stuff doesn't feel forced to part with things.
Totally for me it was depression immigrant grandparents and a mother who thought we were 'poor' after the divorce, I started to hoard stuff, didn't like to wear the same clothing too close together, needed stuff for security.

For dh he's territorial more about his stuff, he sees 'value' I see value now in having the space we pay for! Its "HIS" stuff, he didn't do a great job combining our houses when we moved in together (my stuff goes). I have to get him to see that value is relative like his freaking coin collection he's doing for our kids (assuming they have any interest in coins) but I tell him they will care about a few sentimental ones or valuable ones not necessarily full sets (it takes up one cabinet). I've done well as he wanted us to take his grandfather's ENTIRE HOUSE of furniture I said I don't like it, you don't like the style why do I want it?

But yep one full room like 20x15.

8 might be enough
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#9 of 11 Old 02-13-2006, 02:11 AM
 
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I resented when my dh had his own room with his stuff. It was our office, but 99% of the stuff in there was his. : He has a ton of baseball cards that he can't put in the garage because of the heat. When our third child was on the way I made him clean out the office and move most of his stuff into our bedroom. I wanted a room for the new baby. We have now moved the baby in with his brother and made that room a playroom. Our bedroom is now really cluttered and we started working on decluttering it some this weekend. I'm going to start little by little and hopefully get some of this clutter gone. Good luck with your decluttering.
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#10 of 11 Old 02-14-2006, 01:53 PM
 
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I call my DH's office the black hole maze. I have no idea how he spends all day in there! I get sick after 3 sec. I just go in there randomly (while he's in there working) and I just start throwing away papers. He starts flipping out thinking I'm going to throw away something important (uh, duh I can tell the difference between a credit card offer and a bill) so he starts cleaning. Evil and sneaky? Sure (I never have any intention of cleaning his office, I just scare him into doing it himself), but hey it works and he's always happier after it's done.
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#11 of 11 Old 02-15-2006, 05:30 PM
 
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I can totally relate. It's really hard to de-clutter when the other half isn't willing to pitch in.
I agree with pp's that the only thing you can do is continue to de-clutter everything but their stuff and then hopefully they will see the light.

We live in a tiny house with 2 bedrooms, one bedroom is ours and the other is kid's bedroom/office. The office is the most overwhelmingly cluttered area in our house, to the point that you can't really sit comfortably at the computer because there is no place to put your feet under the desk, but you cant move the chair back because there is too much stuff in the way.
It's mostly dh's domain, but since there is no room that is only dd's, I have been on his case a little to clean it up some more so she can have a better space. He has a super hard time with the idea b/c "it's his only personal space". Which I have a hard time with, because I don't actually have any personal space and he also has a jam-packed full of stuff band room in the garage.
Anyway, I just continue to clear out the rest of the house, have our 3 yard sales every spring summer and fall every year and freecycle like crazy.

Eventually it will all work out, hopefully sooner rather than later.



So, anyway, I feel ya sister!
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