How to get DH to not ruin my work - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 02-17-2006, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
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I have a very high needs daughter. I rarely get to put her down. When I get the chance I always clean the house. I'll scrub as much as I can spotless before dd needs attention again. I'll be satisfied with how the house looks. Within HOURS dh has made the house just as dirty as it was before I cleaned it! I keep asking him to just keep it the way I had it by doing simple things like putting dishes into the dishwasher instead of the counter, throwing away all trash instead of setting it on the desk/counter right next to the garbage can, but all of this goes right over his head. The thing that really gets me is that he'll complain that the house is dirty! So when I'd really love to enjoy an hour not being touched, instead I'm cleaning up after him. How do I get him to just keep the house clean after I've done the hard stuff? It feels like I have 2 kids!
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#2 of 5 Old 02-18-2006, 02:15 AM
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Simple sit him down and say I am going to do 'x' like wash the floor once a day, once a week we'll mop spills, take our shoes off and if one of us messes it up (ie him) you will clean it up.

And why are you doing it all yourself? Start doing the housework as a together thing, don't let him get out of it the house is partly his Sit down have a meeting, old habits are hard to break but find out what he's thinking, ask him how you are going to teach your kids to pick up after themselves, and not to see you as molly maid if he won't?

Then divy up chores that he wants to do some people hate dishes but like to clean ovens etc. Also play the a man who doesn't cause me more work is sexy card

8 might be enough?
Or maybe 9 will be?
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#3 of 5 Old 02-18-2006, 02:19 AM
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Assign him a couple of zones that he's in charge of cleaning. Make it places that are not labor intensive, but places that he tends to clutter up. My dh has our bedroom as one of his zones and he's in charge of keeping it picked up. Which means that there are no more piles of clothes. He also has the entryway where he tends to drop his stuff when he comes home from work. I have the kitchen and bathrooms.

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#4 of 5 Old 02-19-2006, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by bailey228
things like putting dishes into the dishwasher instead of the counter, throwing away all trash instead of setting it on the desk/counter right next to the garbage can,
this is my dh too.
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#5 of 5 Old 02-19-2006, 05:57 PM
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You might consider cleaning house only when he's home to watch your dd. That way your other breaks throughout the day could be spent doing something you *enjoy* and your dd and your dh could get into the habit of hanging out together. He can meet her needs, too, not just you.

And have a serious talk with him about how when he can't respect your mutual space by tidying up after himself, it makes you feel angry/frustrated/whatever. He might not be totally clear on how his behavior affects you.

Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

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