Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I'm finally here!
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if the said packrats lived elsewhere & it was a 'concerned' relative that was tossing the house, i would concur absolutely. but it is more complicated than that. ani lives there, & is getting a rath of $#*! for not maintaining their hoard to their standards. that starts making it her business.
i have my hoards too. if dh just walked in out of the blue & started throwing stuff out, sure i'd be upset. but if i'd had my hoard piled in mutual living space & he'd asked me to stow it repeatedly, & i insisted on keeping my felt crafting hoard (for example) on the couch (instead of in a basket in the closet), i feel he would be within his rights to either store it (as i do with things of obvious value, like his functioning tools) or find it a new home.
one person's right to hoard does not supersede someone else's right to have a functional living space.
and no one has died from a panic attack (i should know!) if someone throwing out your 578 yogurt carton lids that are strewn about the cupboards & covered with mouse droppings (which does happen, because of course, clutter makes it impossible to either clean properly or childproof. it *is* a safety issue) brings on an anxiety attack, it is your responsibility to do some serious cognitive therapy, not your right to say 'wah, my yogurt lid collection is gone forever!'. if it was that meaningful, clean it up & put it away.
rules for how to deal with hoarding issues in other people are modified when those people share a home. it's a delicate issue, & i'd hate for some cleanfreak to feel i was advocating throwing out mom's china dog figurine collection because she felt it was cluttery & in bad taste. moderation.
ani has to live in these conditions, & regardless of hoarding being a mental illness, she has some rights too.