Having people over - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
ShannonCC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just last night I wrote an email to a de-cluttering group saying that I could have someone over without freaking. That's sort of big for me. I grew up in a pig sty and didn't have my friends over. That's sort of carried over to my adulthood and it's only recently that I've realized my house is NOT the house I grew up in and yes, I *can* have people over. MAN, childhood takes forever to get past doesn't it? :

Well, money was tight this week so I couldn’t do a full grocery shop on the weekend. My husband got his paycheck last night so I was going to go deposit it today and go shopping. We’re out of all the kid’s staples and the fridge is pretty bare (plus I don’t have anything for dh’s work lunch tomorrow). Basically, I pretty much have to go shopping today. We had a playdate planned but I figured we could do the shopping in the morning and get it over with and have plenty of time to meet our friends.

So we get up and guess what? Owen (4) is sick with a fever. He walks slowly down the stairs and falls asleep on the couch. He’s up now, had a very pathetic breakfast (the last apple and dry toast since we’re out of jelly) and is watching videos on the couch.

I called my mom to see if she could come here for an hour so I can shop but she’s not feeling well herself. She suggests I call my MIL.

My immediate, knee-jerk reaction is that I can’t have my MIL over here. MIL is a really nice woman, really sweet and likes me, but she’s my MIL!! I can’t have her over here!

I hang up with my mom and look around and realize that I *can* have her over here! No, it’s not perfect, yes, there’s lots of clutter, but you can walk in every single room without tripping over things so that’s good right? (don’t go in the basement, !). Plus all the items I've been getting rid of are really making a difference. Some areas look really nice but even the areas that aren't done yet, still look better than they did. And recently, inspired by my de-cluttering, I’ve started making more of an effort to clean (there didn’t seem to be a point when the place was so cluttered you couldn’t see things you know?). So just last night both toilets got scrubbed, the mirrors were polished, the bathroom counters were wiped (ok, I still can’t really wipe the kitchen counters because they are too cluttered), the bathroom and all the upstairs doors were dusted and I swept or vacuumed every room. This morning I made my bed (not that she’ll be in my bedroom but it looks great )

So I called and left a message asking if she could come and watch the kids here for an hour. And I’m not freaking

I also should say that when I first met my dh’s family, MIL and FIL lived with younger SIL in a house that was not immaculate. They had one room in particular (their tv room) that was extremely cluttered. It made me feel right at home Now, younger SIL has moved out and FIL has passed on and MIL is retired and living alone so spends a lot of time decorating her house (when she’s not jet setting around the world, going to plays or going on road trips – she’s pretty cool!). NOW her house is really neat, . But I’m glad I met her when her house was more normal. I keep having to remind myself she is a really nice woman who won’t judge me for having a cluttered house. AND remind myself that my house is not as bad as I keep thinking it is

Ok, thanks for reading, I just had to ramble
ShannonCC is offline  
#2 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 11:58 AM
 
moms3kids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 315
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is my goal to have my new home good enought that when someone stops by w/ out notice (which happens quite often when you dh is a cop) I don't have to worry about how awful it looks!!!
moms3kids is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 12:10 PM
 
kangamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: MT
Posts: 251
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Shannon- I think you're doing a really great job. I'm really proud of you. You're teaching your kids a very valuable lesson on how much is "too much". Something that obviously got lost in translation during your childhood. And how great is it that you can have babysitters??

I, OTOH, am not doing as well. But I two toddlers running under my feet. I can't keep up with them. Yesterday I was exhausted from being up all night with Ethan. We are also running low on groceries, only I don't go to the store with 4 kids in tow, and asking my mom to babysit is sometimes like asking her to give me a kidney. She'd do it, but not without letting me know how much she's sacrificing to make me happy. So Iris kept ducking into the kitchen and doing things like taking one bite out of a cucumber or pouring a whole glass of milk, dinking 1/4 of it and pouring it down the sink. This is her usualy routine whenever I sit down to nurse a baby. Meanwhile Ethan is teething and also exhausted form being up all night, and hungry, and wailing his head off. I got mad because I had to put the baby down to get her to stop and I started yelling at her. Then Ayla shows up and gives me this look like a deer in headlights. I ask her "what are you doing? whats going on?" (I'm still yelling, mind you) She just stares at me. So I realize someone is at the door and I go to see who it is, thinking its a solicitor of some kind. Nope. It was Iris's preschool teachers coming by for their home visit. I'd scheduled it a week ago. I had completely forgotten about it. I and my house was a a disaster. Luckily I had picked up all the stuff from the floor, so the living room wasn't bad, but not anything else. I was in the middle of diaper changes so one baby was in a diaper and the other one was naked. The kitchen was nasty, and of course she just walked right in there. I hadn't vacuumed the floor and there was crumbs and stuff all over it. I was so embarassed. I quickly changed my clothes and dressed the babies. Then dh got home in the middle of the meeting. I got really mad at him because he had to tell me how embarassed HE was the the house was such a mess, and he pretty much blamed me for it. I could just shake him sometimes. But that is a separate issue I guess. So I told him that there was nothing we could do about it now, the damage has already been done. The only thing we can do is make sure it doesn't happen again.
kangamom is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 12:17 PM
 
pilesoflaundry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: getting comfy again
Posts: 9,073
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is so great! Growing up I never wanted to have friends over, my mom is a hoarder and there was always stuff everywhere.

I don't mind having people over because it's not as bad as my childhood home (it is still cluttered here though, I need to purge more) but dh doesn't want anyone over because it's still too cluttered in his opinion, ironically he never wants to get rid of anything!

Good for you for clearing out stuff!
pilesoflaundry is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 02:05 PM
 
broodymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Watching the rain
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Congrats on being able to have someone over!

I'm still in the stage of being ashamed to open the door myself. I hope to get to that point someday. One step at a time!

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

chicken3.gif

broodymama is online now  
#6 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 06:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
ShannonCC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got home and the house wasn't wrecked It took me five minutes to get it back into shape.

Thank you all

Kangamom, I'm sorry you're having problems. I hope things look up for you soon. I have trouble enough with one baby at a time, I can't imagine two.

Pilesoflaundry, are you on the children of hoarders thread? (my memory is shot ) That's sort of where I'm coming from too.

Good luck to everyone on this de-cluttering journey with me. Rah rah us! We can do it
ShannonCC is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 08-30-2006, 11:08 PM
Banned
 
accountclosed3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my mother's house was a museum--seriously. always spotless--still is.

my house is a bit more 'casual.' that's the term we agreed on. i allow dust bunnies (i have a bunny, so most of them are made of his sheddy-sheds), a few dishes drying by the sink are ok for guests to see. and, if i have a book out or i'm working on a paper (writing), it's ok for my stuff to be on the desk.

my mother says "i could never live so casually!" my friends say "you're so organized."

it's a strange place. my MIL says that i'm a horrible, messy person who hoards things--but she's the real hoarder. it's wild. LOL
accountclosed3 is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 09-02-2006, 03:02 PM
 
ollineeba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Doing better than I deserve..
Posts: 5,549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congrats on being company-ready!

I have a little ways to go before I can be...

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
ollineeba is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 09-02-2006, 11:50 PM
 
IansMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the house on the hill
Posts: 1,792
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ShannonCC...you are inspriring me! Yay for you!
This week, for me too, is the first week I have been able to relax a bit before guests came over.
It feels so good to be able to see my floor.
Must. Keep. Decluttering!!!

(...but don't actually go upstairs in my house...that hasn't been done yet):
IansMommy is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 09-03-2006, 12:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
ShannonCC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Heh, I won't go upstairs in your house if you don't go in my basement,

I feel totally good about playdates now! Now if we could just schedule one, ! The next two weeks are really busy for us (and most of our friends). Well, that just means the house will be that much nicer when we DO manage to have one here
ShannonCC is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 09-03-2006, 04:24 AM
 
~Megan~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 15,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish I had inlaws with a clean house. My fil's measure of a woman is if she can cook and keep her house clean.

I'll just settle for being a good mom.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
~Megan~ is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off