Anyone else NOT allowing video games? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-28-2006, 08:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe View Post
I finally told her she could buy it as long as she gives me the reciept so I can return it.
I would SOOO do that. Our families are pretty respectful of our wishes, and NONE of our extended family is into gaming so it's not something we have to worry about at gift-giving times.

hippie.gif+reading.gif= Peanut (2004), Pumpkin (2007) and Butter Bean!! (2011)

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Old 11-29-2006, 03:40 AM
 
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I didn't have video games growing up for a long time. My bestfriend had a Nintendo - one of the early ones. And she was so obsessed with it. ALL we did was play that when we were at her house. I just remember finding it incredibly boring, and only played because she was so bossy!

And then, one year, my dad got a Sega Genesis for me. Actually, I think it was more of a gift for himself. I played it once, but again it bored me. Around the same time my bestfriend got the playstation that was out, again bored the heck out of me.

I was much more into reading and getting out with the dogs (we always had at least 5 or 6). Reading was a BIG thing in my family from the beginning. I was read to from the time I can remember. I learned to read at an early age, and spent a lot of time buried in a book. Of course, I also want to be published (as a writer now) so that could have something to do with my obsession ... er passion.

I won't be buying video games, etc. for my kids. And I highly doubt anyone in my family would get them that for presents. I wager they'll be getting a lot of books, though. If they want to play at their friends' homes - that's fine. I can't really control what they do there. But, I won't have any in the house.

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Old 11-29-2006, 05:15 AM
 
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We dont allow them.

EXCEPT- we bought an Atari for ourselves- super old-school - Asteroids, Tank, Combat. It's so lame but fun. DS loves it. He can turn it on, work all the games, play for five minutes and he's done! Theres just not that much too them, so he doesnt drone out on them.

Maybe we're selling out, but it's kept the whole "how come Kevin has video games and I dont" argument at bay.

My un-smart in-laws have been sternly warned against getting ds Gameboy or playstation, etc. They got my nephew every video game thing possible and he's a zombie now. And he's FIVE.
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Old 12-03-2006, 02:15 PM
 
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When I was a kid my father forbid us from having any video games. I think he felt it was a waste of money, and that it would rot our brains. However that didn't stop my mom from buying us a nintendo when I was eleven. We hid it in the laundry room under a towel, and only played it while he was at work. After a couple of weeks my six year old sister ratted us out. My mom and I walked in the door to hear her say "I'm not supposed to tell you that we got a pretendo, Daddy." He let us keep it anyway. The only person to really play it was my mom anyway. I think over the years we ende up with a super nintendo and a nintendo 64 as well. I barely played any of them, though no rules were ever established about it either way. I did have a minor addiction to the Sims for several years, but I have lost interest in the last couple of years, and I avoid playing for fear of becoming addicted again.

However I truly think that video games are detrimental to young children while their brains are still rapidly developing. I think playing video games and watching tv can wreak havoc on their creative, sensory, and social development. I really don't think children should be exposed to video games until they are in their midteens, and then only in moderation.

Unfortunately, I know it's a losing battle in our house. My husband is the director of Engineering for a small video game company. So for us video games are something I can't live with and I can't live without. They pay the bills and put food on our table. It's been years since we had a new console system though. Until now. My husband got up at 5 am on Nov 20th to stand in line at our Target for a new nintendo Wii. It's hard to deny him something like that though because he rarely buys himself anything fun. I just want him to get it out of his system before the baby is born in the end of January. He says he knows how I feel about games and tv for children, but I wonder what will happen while he and the baby are home all day, and I'm at work. I have visions of coming home to hear my daughter say "I'm not supposed to tell you mommy, but daddy and I played pretendo all day."

Jennifer, mama to darling dancing Juliette, and sweet baby Jameson
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Old 12-03-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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I think its hard to make a decision when your children are really young. We have Gamecube and PS2 and the older boys have GB's. However, I can't even remember once in the last 30 days anyone has played the first two. My kids never take the GB's in the car not because I say no they just don't consider it. Mostly when they play is when its pouring rain outside for days and they can't get outside much. Even then its minimal. I think video games are just like candy...if you make it off limits it only intices the want more. Once they play its like OK that was fun but now I'm ready to do something else. I want my kids to learn self control not mommy control. And so far they are doing a great job. If they crossed over to not controlling themselves then we'd sit down and work out a plan we could all live with.
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Old 12-03-2006, 02:59 PM
 
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We said the same thing about guns when our oldest was a toddler. THen relatives bought him and his cousin Nerf guns when they were 4. THen they got him squirt guns. We had a very stern talk with him about real vs. fake, nad never shooting at people or animals. Ds doesn't even like playing with them.

Then we said the same about games. We will never have that in "our" house, and surprise surprise, fil gave ds money when he was 5 to get a gameboy. We didn't set any limitations on his playing, but we wouldn't buy his games. He could get them for holidays from others, or use his weekly $5 he gets from us. He played it for about a week and then never played with it unless friends wanted too. Then for the last Christmas fil bought the "family" a game cube and a couple of games, and a tv for gaming to put in ds room. I didn't say anything. Ds only played it when dh had time to play, and they only have Mario World and Mario Cart. Again we will not pay for games. Then for his last bd he got a DS light, and my brother gave him a PSP with a game and movie. I was pretty upset about it all and wanted my brother to take it back and give him something else, but it was to late.

The interesting thing is that with all these systems and games, ds and dh NEVER play them! We do alot of art, snowboarding, mountainbiking, reading, playing outside, etc. and he totally forgets we even have the stuff, or it seems. You can always tell the friends that come from homes where they are not aloud to have these though because it is the ONLY thing that they want to do . It makes ds mad because he wants to go outside and play and his friends are glued to the games. I think that doing anything in moderation is best, and everytime my parents or other parents that I see limit something so completely makes the kids later in life resent the parents and use or play with it all the time anyway.

We do not belive in moderating food, sleep, toys, tv, etc, and our boys rarely watch tv, eat only when hungry (vegetarian and no junk in the house anyway), fall asleep when tired, etc. Of course we have limits, but I think that when you raise your children in a good way, and give choices for these things, you would be surprised at how they respond.

Aidan 8/11/99 Bryn 9/7/04 Jardin is here! 8/23/10 ~Kindness is My Religion~ Dalai Lama
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Old 12-03-2006, 05:21 PM
 
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No video games.

Peiredboy, I looked at your links. It depends on your view of healthy development. I've researched this academically as a part of a Maste'rs program. Video games play no part in healthy development in my opinion.
Healthy brain development is almost always hindered, and oftentimes violent habits are formed. Making art, writing, reading and healthy play...real life discovery and social interaction...are core to what children need. Video games tend to counter those activities.

I have a 10 yo who I allow to dabble in computer programs in the library very occasionally, mostly because I want him to understand what his friends are talking about. He doesn't want to play videogames, but he wants to fit in with friends and know what they are discussing at school to a degree. Home should be a sacred place and a safe place in my opinion. Regime change begins at home. Bringing violence in any form into the home means you are contributing to the problem imho.

I recommend reading Jane Healy, whose research I found to be some of the best. Also Joseph Chilton Peirce, whose study and discovery of the human brain is incredible.
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Old 12-03-2006, 08:26 PM
 
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Not here. My DH had an X-Box for the longest time and then I made him get rid of it. He was playing daily until 4-5am in the morning and then complaining that he was too tired in the morning!!! That and playing shotting games in front of the kiddos!!! He is trying to talk me into an XBOX 360 but I told him no way!
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Old 12-04-2006, 03:52 AM
 
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Who said the games have to be shooting and violent? There are a variety of available games out there that don't include either one. Racing games, Crash banicott, just to name a few. Then there is the Scrabble, wheel of fortune, jeopardy, etc.

I am not condoning kids playing video games for hours on end. Nor am I encouraging violent games.

My kids will pick outside stuff and board games with parents, chess, etc anytime over video games. I'd rather they learn now about controlling the video game monster than when they get to college and get hooked in online gaming/fantasy life where I have no idea what's going on.

Be careful with saying My kids will never...
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Old 12-04-2006, 04:09 AM
 
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Stay anti video games as long as you can.

The day may come when it doesn't seem like such a big issue.

In fact, I almost guarantee the day will come when video games don't freak you out compared to other issues.

But enjoy the time before that point

Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children--William Makepeace Thackeray
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Old 12-04-2006, 01:22 PM
 
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The first time I set up a computer network it was because I was wanting to play a video game with a friend.
The first time I figured out how RF and A/V signals worked it was because I wanted to play a game.
The first time I opened up a computer and swapped components, it was for a game.
The first time I wrote a computer program, it was so I could figure out something in a game.
The first time I got a job it was so I could buy myself video games.
The first time I saved money it was for a game.
The first time I typed more than 60 words per minute it was because of a game.
The last time I connected with my brother who I haven't seen for 18 years he helped me with a video game
The best exercise of my abstract thinking skills has always been video games.
My abstract thinking skills have provided a wonderful life for me and my family, financially speaking.
The first time I completed a 3 million dollar software suite it was because of the skills I developed playing games.

I am not saying that video games are categorically valuable, but I do not believe them to be categorically useless either. I am positive that my life would be significantly different if it wasn't for video games and the hours I spent with them and my life is great, so I would not be able to risk completly banning them in my own or my children's lives.

There are brainlessly useless video games (most of those are labeled as "educational" in the store) and there are thrill-kill violent video games, but there are some gems there that teach and/or exercise the skills to make hard decisions instantly, how to creativly solve problems, how to develop extremly complex strategy involving sacrifice, decoys, calculated risk, and cost benefit analysis all on the fly in real-time.

Imagine Chess where there are a constantly changing number of units, hundreds of different types of units, a very flexable battle field, and up to 8 simultaneous opponents. Sounds like an extremly mentally taxing game huh? I just described "Starcraft" a game that costs 9.99 and will play on pretty much any computer, and was the most popular game in the U.S. and South Korea (the two biggest comsumers of video games) for half a decade.

I would have no problem banning games which do not involve either physical interaction, problem solving, or critical thinking. But I am going to be more deeply involved in my children's video game habits than probably a lot of other parents. Mostly because They do not have the background to easily make these kinds of assessments.
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Old 12-04-2006, 02:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bendmom View Post
We said the same thing about guns when our oldest was a toddler. THen relatives bought him and his cousin Nerf guns when they were 4. THen they got him squirt guns. We had a very stern talk with him about real vs. fake, nad never shooting at people or animals. Ds doesn't even like playing with them.
See, in my family, the rule was "there's no such thing as a toy gun" when we took our hands and made pretend finger guns, Mom had us doing low-crawls across the back yard, and reciting "there is no such thing as an unloaded gun" "never point your gun at anything you don't want to shoot". Squirt guns were used for target shooting, to get each other wet we used spray bottles and were "spraying" not "shooting".
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Old 12-04-2006, 02:20 PM
 
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On the original topic of video games. I've found that I'm most likely to get fixated on videogames of any sort when I'm depressed or anxious. Ditto, television. (Television was worse than videogames however. We now have a *ton* of videogames and movies, but no cable or broadcast stations.) I plan to help my children develop the same skills I've learned to keep my screentime as something fun to do instead of something I do to numb myself.
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