I think it is time to let them go - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 01:37 PM
 
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i use our china sets any chance we get, including the 60+ year old crystal given as a wedding gift to my grandmother. we use it and the kids do too. i just don't see the point of holding on to something beautiful unless it is going to be used. using it is so fun!
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#32 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 03:18 PM
 
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Well, just got off the phone with Auntie - she'll take them! She didn't fuss about me giving them away or nothing (did I mention how much I my Auntie?). She will be clearing out some stuff to make room. Now had I offered them to my other relatives, they would of pitched a fit, and been b*tching about me for weeks. I will be keeping a teacup and saucer from the set, so it all works out.

Thanks for those of you who posted the information for selling them - I'll be passing on that information if she decides later on she doesn't want them (she doesn't remember my grandmother using them either). It makes me feel better that she is getting them, because she barely got anything in the will, where as I did (bonus - she loves vintage). She doesn't resent me for getting what I got like the rest of my family (as if I had anything to do with my Grandmother's choices ).

to everyone that responded. It helps to hear things from other view points, both for and against my decision to let them go.
That sounds perfect! So glad you found a solution

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#33 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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On the topic of saving heirlooms: I guess for me, the most important things to hang on to are photos, stories, and family history. Recording the family tree. Information on how my family came to be here in the United States. Their struggles and triumphs. The verbal stories passed down from generation to generation. Sure, having a couple family heirlooms can be very nice to have. But, when you think about it, they are not essential to life. Letting some heirlooms go does not remove the memories. If you are worried about forgetting, take some pictures. And if you keep some heirlooms, I think everything should have a story behind it, kwim? The china had no special memory to me or even my Aunt. No stories of eating Thanksgiving dinner on them with family. But then that example right there brings forth a question - what is more important, the time spent with family, or the dishes? If I hanged on to the china, all I could tell my son is that they used to be his Great Grandmothers. That's it.

And I personally feel there should be limits to what you hang on to. You only have so much room to keep things. I shutter when I see someone's rooms filled to the hilt with heirlooms on those Cleap Sweep and Clean House shows. I don't want to do that to my son. If the items are so important, they should be used or displayed, not shut away in storage.

My goal is to preserve the old memories most special to my family, and most importantly, allow room to make new memories.
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#34 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 07:36 PM
 
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this is us

I have all sorts of stuff from MY Grandparents and some from MY greastgrandparents....all either on display or labled and boxed neatly for the future display for for our kids......we have NOTHING -- to show from DH's family, nothing to hand down to our kids. i have 3 baby pictures (ie under 5) of DH and that is all. Makes me very sad for our kids that no one ever cared enough to put the effort in to savings a few things (a few baby outfits from DH -- how hard would it have been to save that?? MIL is just lazy). I know my kids will be smart enough to see that DH's family did not care... and while it is true .. it makes me so sad that my kids are going to have to realize that about someone they are related to.

Aimee
We have the same sort of situation, tho MIL did save DH's teddy bear so we have that, and a few photos. But what my kids will come to realize is that no one from that side cares enough to come visit them or call them. We only get regular visits from my side of the family, and phone calls several times a week. The IL's call every few months if that, and if one person from that side comes once a year that is a lot.

I agree with Zamber that it is indeed the memories and stories that matter most. But having some heirlooms around helps to keep those stories alive, and also prompts us to remember the people associated with them. (That's not to say I don't agree with her decision to get rid of the dishes in the OP, I completely agree with that!)
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#35 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 09:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Zamber View Post

On the topic of saving heirlooms: I guess for me, the most important things to hang on to are photos, stories, and family history. Recording the family tree. Information on how my family came to be here in the United States. Their struggles and triumphs. The verbal stories passed down from generation to generation. Sure, having a couple family heirlooms can be very nice to have. But, when you think about it, they are not essential to life. Letting some heirlooms go does not remove the memories. If you are worried about forgetting, take some pictures. And if you keep some heirlooms, I think everything should have a story behind it, kwim? The china had no special memory to me or even my Aunt. No stories of eating Thanksgiving dinner on them with family. But then that example right there brings forth a question - what is more important, the time spent with family, or the dishes? If I hanged on to the china, all I could tell my son is that they used to be his Great Grandmothers. That's it.

And I personally feel there should be limits to what you hang on to. You only have so much room to keep things. I shutter when I see someone's rooms filled to the hilt with heirlooms on those Cleap Sweep and Clean House shows. I don't want to do that to my son. If the items are so important, they should be used or displayed, not shut away in storage.

My goal is to preserve the old memories most special to my family, and most importantly, allow room to make new memories.
I absolutely agree. I have my grandmother's cookie cutters because her Christmas cookies meant so much to us... they remind me of her and I tell the story of her cookies every year when my daughter, niece and I bake them together

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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