I think it is time to let them go - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 01:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
Zamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have finally come to realize that it is time to let the china set go that I inherited from my Grandmother. Here are the photos of them:

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...a/IMG_1273.jpg

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...a/IMG_1278.jpg

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...a/IMG_1283.jpg

They are pretty, but I never use them. I don't know if they are even worth anything. They take up a lot of space, and some pieces have gotten damaged from being moved so much. I have come to realize that I am only hanging on to them because I feel it is my "responsibility" to keep them. Sitting here looking at them, I realized that she didn't really use them either. Once a year she would pull them all out and wash them, then put them right back in the cubboard, not to see the light of day for another year. I pulled them out thinking I was going to do the same, but then I had to ask myself "why?", and I had no real answer for it. I already have dishes that I like to use daily.

So, my next step - what should I do with them? I know if I offer them to family, they will guilt me into keeping them. So, here are the options I am thinking about:

~ freecycle
~ donate to salvation army or other thrift store
~ sell them (but I am not sure how to go about it, and will the effort even be worth it?)

So, what do you all recommend? Am I crazy for doing this? Any other suggestions are welcome.
Zamber is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 01:34 AM
 
lisalulu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think you're crazy. We have two sets of china-one from our wedding and one from my grandmother. The only reason we use them is when we have a big group over-its the only set(s) we have big enough for such a large group. I would see if you can find out the going price for them-can you sell them locally to an antique type store if they are worth enough?

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
lisalulu is offline  
#3 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 08:26 AM
 
tessamami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: New York City!
Posts: 1,578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
www.replacements.com

http://www.replacements.com/misc/packship.htm

The second link is info about selling to them. You can also do a search on the pattern, to get an idea of what it's worth. . . .I do like the idea of freecycle, too because you get to directly benefit someone else . . . .what comes around, goes around.
tessamami is offline  
#4 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 09:13 AM
 
Mom4tot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Pemberley
Posts: 15,236
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would probably check the value first. Then you can decide about giving them away or looking for a local consignment shop. If pieces have been broken and it isn't a complete set, you might want to keep just a teacup and saucer or something?

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
Mom4tot is offline  
#5 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 09:20 AM
 
aisling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was going to suggest replacements.com as well. I'm pretty sure this is the right pattern, isn't it?

http://www.replacements.com/webquote/FLPFLP1.htm

It looks like there are a few pieces that they don't have in stock. It might be worth talking to them about what you have and seeing what they offer.
aisling is offline  
#6 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 09:41 AM
 
IncaMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
another option - use them. use them daily. if you like them...why not? you deserve to eat off of gorgeous china every single day.
IncaMama is offline  
#7 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 10:17 AM
 
wonderfulmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by IncaMama View Post
another option - use them. use them daily. if you like them...why not? you deserve to eat off of gorgeous china every single day.
Absolutely!
wonderfulmom is offline  
#8 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 11:19 AM
 
marybethorama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Western MD
Posts: 3,376
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by IncaMama View Post
another option - use them. use them daily. if you like them...why not? you deserve to eat off of gorgeous china every single day.
That's what I do I don't have "everyday" dishes-just thrift shop stuff. Anyway rather than buy everyday dishes I decided to use the good stuff. I'd rather have it get used than sit on my shelf.
marybethorama is offline  
#9 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 12:00 PM
 
UUMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 9,207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We're the party house, so serving plates and large sets of things come in very handy for us. I have some pretty antique dessert plates from my g grandma that I use frequently. (They must be handwashed, can't be thrown in the dwasher). All b'day parties, all holiday parties etc. There is usually one person in an extended family who ends up hosting all the special occassions, and that's me.

If you aren't going to use them it seems a shame not to have someone else use them. So, I vote, don't store them ever again!
UUMom is offline  
#10 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 12:11 PM
 
organicmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you want to get rid of them I would sell them personally.
We have 2 sets of good china, one from my grandmother and one from dh's. We hardly use them, the one from my grandmother are actually boxed up, when my sis gets married I will pass them on to her. DH's set will get used here someday, I love the set but would rather wait til the kids are bigger or for special occasions to use them.
Good luck in your decision
organicmommy is offline  
#11 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 12:21 PM
 
Starr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
They are so pretty. I am no help because I love my grandma's china and getting everything all ready and the silver polished before Thanksgiving... but I'm just weird that way : . I would try to sell them myself.
Starr is offline  
#12 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 12:38 PM
 
Zach'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Rockin' the suburbs...
Posts: 1,121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
They are beautiful!! I would use them for everyday dishes!!!

Mom to Zach eat.gif , 2 cat.gif, 1dog2.gif, and a whole lot of goldfish.gif!!!! 
Zach'smom is offline  
#13 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 12:46 PM
 
babz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 242
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Why don't you keep one piece - like a serving dish or a teacup that you can use and remember your granny?

Then, pick out one piece for each member of your family who was fond of grandma and give it to them for Christmas. For instance, if auntie likes to entertain, give her a platter or gravy boat, etc. This could be in addition to another gift if you normally give them something. Tell them how meaningful it is for you to think of grandma every afternoon cup of tea or when you serve veggies and that you wanted to share that with them.

Then sell or freecycle the additional pieces. There are lots of sites for completing old china sets that buy pieces and where you could get an idea of worth.
babz is offline  
#14 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 01:02 PM
 
momto l&a's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Idaho
Posts: 13,100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do you have a dd?

If so I would pack and save them for her. She might really enjoy having something of her greatgrandmothers.


I am all for decluttering but not when it comes to family heirlooms.
momto l&a is offline  
#15 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 01:29 PM
 
AngieB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by momto l&a View Post
Do you have a dd?

If so I would pack and save them for her. She might really enjoy having something of her greatgrandmothers.


I am all for decluttering but not when it comes to family heirlooms.
I agree, I've always wished I had some family china. This is something pretty special and I think you should save it for your children or at least give it to another family member.
AngieB is offline  
#16 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 01:41 PM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Personally I would keep them : :

they are a link to your family that actually -- IMHO -- belongs to your children, not to you. : :

I would box them well, lable them and pack them away if you choose not touse them -- we use Grandmother's china and will use it a lot more as the kids are older ....... but if you choose not to -- box it and store it.

You could JUST START USEING IT. WHAT A FAIMLY TIE. and it is nice looking. and qulity. just get it out and start useing it.

grandmother always said "if it is made to be used, use it" My aunt who passed it on to me on Grandma's death told me to use it.

There are a lot of things to get rid of in life -- Grandmother's china is NOT IMO one of them.

you will regret it when your dcs are older.

If you really and truly do not want it -- pass it on to a family member.

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
#17 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 02:31 PM
 
mommaof3boz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I had a set of dh's grandma's. I mean a huge set!! I kept a couple of bowls and a six place settings and sold the rest. I still have some if we want to get them out and use them but not a huge space eating amount.
mommaof3boz is offline  
#18 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 02:37 PM
 
Denvergirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Foothills west of Denver
Posts: 2,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My mom just asked me last week if I wanted her wedgewood china, I told her I would like a piece of it, perhaps a serving piece and to sell the rest.

As for using china, we already do use china as everyday pieces but they all came from the thrift store and it's all mixed and matched. If a piece breaks, I toss it and don't get teary eyed.
Denvergirlie is offline  
#19 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 02:45 PM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
As for using china, we already do use china as everyday pieces but they all came from the thrift store and it's all mixed and matched. If a piece breaks, I toss it and don't get teary eyed.
just me but i would rather use my Grandmother's set -- again -- if a peice gets broken -- it was borken being used......

Quote:
My mom just asked me last week if I wanted her wedgewood china, I told her I would like a piece of it, perhaps a serving piece and to sell the rest.
why have you mom get rid of HER china that is a family tie and use something from a thrift sort?????

JMO

Aiumee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
#20 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 03:16 PM
 
PeacefulSeams's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: My Zen state of mind
Posts: 1,980
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Since it is an heirloom, I would box it up and pass it on to your daughter. Or gift pieces to family. Maybe pass it on to someone else that would have like to have it.

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" --Leonardo Da Vinci
 blogging.jpg  780/2014 decluttered

PeacefulSeams is offline  
#21 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
Zamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denvergirlie View Post
As for using china, we already do use china as everyday pieces but they all came from the thrift store and it's all mixed and matched. If a piece breaks, I toss it and don't get teary eyed.
This is the thing that bugs me most with this set. Before my Grandmother passed away 5 years ago at the age of 73 (she could of lived longer if she didn't smoke ), the set was intact. Each move the set was carefully wrapped up and the boxes moved with care. Each time pieces have gotten damaged, and I feel like crap (I love her, but my Grandmother use to become very abusive if anything broke or spilled in her house, and that fear still hits me sometimes). I also used to use them, and a couple plates have gotten stained in the process. More heartache . The likelyhood of us staying in Michigan is pretty slim. These things are super fragile. I don't think I can handle seeing any more pieces broken.

As for preserving my Grandmother's memory, I have plenty of gorgous photos of her and my Grandpa, and a lovely old sewing machine that I plan on learning how to use. I remember her pulling that machine out and using it (she always was smiling when she used that machine). The plates, she bought them because they are pretty, and back then when you got married buying china is what you were traditionally suppose to do. Growing up in her house, I never saw her use them once. To me, the plates are not my Grandmother, and I am tired of beating myself up over them. They don't bring me joy, they serve me a heaping plate of guilt. As for passing them down, I have a son (and currently not planing on having any more little ones), and a step daughter who is already slotted to get stuff like china from her Mom's side of the family.

Quote:
Why don't you keep one piece - like a serving dish or a teacup that you can use and remember your granny?
I was thinking about keeping a teacup and saucer. I may just do that.

I think am going to offer the set to my Aunt to see if she wants them (I have no idea where she is going to put them though). She won't give me as hard of a time as the rest of my family.
Zamber is offline  
#22 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 04:05 PM
 
SleeplessMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5,113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think there is a good chance the plateful of guilt could turn into $$$. Even if Replacements pays 25% of their resale price, you will be looking at a good contribution to the college fund. Email them and they will let you know.

If you decide, years from now, that you "need" this china pattern, then you can always get it on eBAY, in August when the prices will be lowest.

You may want to get a lead test kit at Lowes. The red glaze could be a low-fire lead containing glaze. This kind of china is not microwave safe (sparks!) can be damaged in the dishwasher, and can loose its finish very easily with normal use. And it breaks easily too! :

I have a similar made-in-Japan pattern, and I really wonder why.

You could save the chipped pieces (no resale value) and make mosaic art with them.. or not. Lots of vintage dishes go this route on FleaBay.
SleeplessMommy is offline  
#23 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 04:49 PM
 
mommaof3boz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
If you don't have any attachment to them, they are a pia to use and you don't want them GET RID of em.

The rules:
Do you love it?
Do you use it?
Can it make money?

I think you can answer no to each. The sewing machine is your treasure.
mommaof3boz is offline  
#24 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 08:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
Zamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SleeplessMommy View Post
This kind of china is not microwave safe (sparks!) can be damaged in the dishwasher, and can loose its finish very easily with normal use. And it breaks easily too!
Sparks: Yes, they have gold on rims. DH made the very big mistake of putting one of the plates in the microwave. 4th of July anyone? I can't remember if the sparks ever came off the plate designs though.
Can get damaged in the dishwasher: Yes, at my old apartment we had a dishwasher. Learned really quick they were handwash only.
Looses it's finish with normal use: I would say yes. Some of the pieces even have noticable firing imperfections.
Breaks easily: DEFINATELY!!!!
Zamber is offline  
#25 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 09:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
Zamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, just got off the phone with Auntie - she'll take them! She didn't fuss about me giving them away or nothing (did I mention how much I my Auntie?). She will be clearing out some stuff to make room. Now had I offered them to my other relatives, they would of pitched a fit, and been b*tching about me for weeks. I will be keeping a teacup and saucer from the set, so it all works out.

Thanks for those of you who posted the information for selling them - I'll be passing on that information if she decides later on she doesn't want them (she doesn't remember my grandmother using them either). It makes me feel better that she is getting them, because she barely got anything in the will, where as I did (bonus - she loves vintage). She doesn't resent me for getting what I got like the rest of my family (as if I had anything to do with my Grandmother's choices ).

to everyone that responded. It helps to hear things from other view points, both for and against my decision to let them go.
Zamber is offline  
#26 of 35 Old 04-02-2007, 09:36 PM
 
greenmansions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,982
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm in the 'get rid of it' camp. I did not keep my grandma's dishes because I didn't need them and did not like the pattern, even tho she used them.

I did keep all of the littlest bowls that went with the set, as I don't see that size much with new sets. I figured a little accent bowl like that can be used here and there. We put soy sauce or other dipping sauces in them usually. So that might be an alternative to keeping a teacup.
greenmansions is offline  
#27 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 12:12 AM
 
HipGal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: CA
Posts: 830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Yay! I'm so glad you found such a perfect solution!!!

I was just going to say that I almost sold some stuff to replacements, but decided it wasn't worth it because you have to pay for the shipping yourself (replacements doesn't pay for shipping). By the time you box everything well and ship it, you really don't make very much at all.

Anyway, the point is moot because I think you made the absolute best choice. It is great that everything is staying in the family, but out of your house!
HipGal is offline  
#28 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 12:33 AM
 
UmmBnB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,003
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd keep them, even if you are just storing for the next generation. We have lots of family heirlooms and even though some are in storage, I'd not give up a single one. Dh's family doesn't have a darned thing and its heartbreaking.

I'm the only granddaughter on both sides. I have 4 sets of china, 3 silver and 1 crystal. I have one set here and the rest is at my moms. I'll pass my paternal gma's china and silver on to my cousin's daughter on that side, the rest I'll keep for my kids when they are older if they want them, otherwise they'll go to cousins.
UmmBnB is offline  
#29 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 02:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
Zamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HipGal View Post
I was just going to say that I almost sold some stuff to replacements, but decided it wasn't worth it because you have to pay for the shipping yourself (replacements doesn't pay for shipping). By the time you box everything well and ship it, you really don't make very much at all.
Thanks - that is good to know for future reference.
Zamber is offline  
#30 of 35 Old 04-03-2007, 09:56 AM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I'd not give up a single one. Dh's family doesn't have a darned thing and its heartbreaking.
this is us

I have all sorts of stuff from MY Grandparents and some from MY greastgrandparents....all either on display or labled and boxed neatly for the future display for for our kids......we have NOTHING -- to show from DH's family, nothing to hand down to our kids. i have 3 baby pictures (ie under 5) of DH and that is all. Makes me very sad for our kids that no one ever cared enough to put the effort in to savings a few things (a few baby outfits from DH -- how hard would it have been to save that?? MIL is just lazy). I know my kids will be smart enough to see that DH's family did not care... and while it is true .. it makes me so sad that my kids are going to have to realize that about someone they are related to.

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off