"Ugh, more crap to try and find room for."
"Another article of clothing she'll never wear- can I return it or should I just donate it someplace? I can't find a gift receipt!"
"Yeah!! Gift cards! She can pick out something she'll actually use!!"
Of course I kept all these thoughts to myself.
Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
They don't have a lot of money,so I hate thinking she spent it for waste, but I remind myself that finding little things for us makes us happy and she has no idea that they go to waste anyway, so she's happy and I love the gesture, I just wish we could do it without the dollar store being in the middle. Sigh.
|I've tried getting our families to cut back, but it just makes them angry, which makes me feel unheard and resentful. Sigh...|
And yes, I too have a dear friend that brings me tons of stuff. It's so much stuff that she usually hauls it over in a black plastic trash bag. I've told her that I love the thought, but that I don't even have room for some of my beloved belongings that are currently stored in my basement. It has helped some...but not much. Her heart is pure gold, but I don't dare let it slip that I have a yard sale coming up, because there are an awful lot of things in the sale that came from her. At least I told her how I felt I guess!
If someone comes over and likes it, take it home!
I have thrown away so much crap in the last few days!
I get so tired of all those gifts anyway, I'm just happy to see people and they don't need to bring anything! And I definitely don't want DD to learn that every time someone comes to see her, she gets something.
I think conditioning them to get you gc or museum passes or the like is key. You might have to be creative, but it's much better than the guilt and wasted money, yk?
I wish some one of my relatives would give me a bunch of stuff! Even used stuff! (Send those bags to me!) On the few occassions this happened to us, we jsut went through, took what we loved and took the rest to our 'free-store'. (A place at the dump for unwanted, usable items.) I love getting stuff.
My mother used to buy a bunch of cheap (dollar store) gifts, but then started giving me money to do the shopping for her. I bought museum passes, etc.
Now, no one gives us stuff. :
As far as B'day gifts, I feel that it's a roll of the dice. You might like it or hate it. If I hate it, I get rid of it. No guilt. It just dissappears. But I love the build up tyo opening it....the pretty wrapping, teh thought that went into it, the idea that someone shopped FOR ME!
As for the kids b'days, often something I thopught they'd hate wound up ceing their favorite thing! And they learned how to appear grateful, even when they weren't!
Just pack all that stuff up and mail it to me!
I feel bad about this, because I know she is trying to be helpful and caring... but I know it is going to get worse... my kiddos will be her last grandchildren, so she intends to spoil them.
/mil rant... sorry ladies...
At my house, we dont need more stuff, it might not be something I necessarily want for my kids, or its just too over the top. She does the same for me and dh. A lot of times w dh he will want to return whatever is given to him or I should say 90% of the time he wants to return what is given to him. So if its a holiday, if we return it- its a store credit, nothing fits him, then the credit sits beyond expirotation, or the item sits in our room until someone returns it....usually me and then the credit it about $8!
So I have said, please dont buy us things, we dont want to exchange- we are trying to simplify our life you name it. So now its- well I am giving you something even though its not an exchange. It goes on and on..
Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.
I mean, we're pretty close. We've had whole conversations about how I'm trying to simplify, and get rid of all the plastic stuff in my kitchen, etc. Whole conversations about how much stuff I'm purging. She came over before my recent move, and looked into a box of stuff for Goodwill. She saw a plastic pasta server thing with a handle like Mickey Mouse in there, that she'd brought back from Disney Land (or World, whatever), and she said something snippy about it. I've told her, if you give me a gift, once it comes in my house, it's mine to do what I like with it. If I want it gone, it's gone.
At Christmas, before coming home from my parents', I packed all the gifts separately: keep, return, donate. The ones in the 'donate' bag didn't even come into the house. Mind you, I've been very up front about not wanting battery-operated plastic toys for Sprogly, so everyone's had fair warning. It's a shameful waste, but I don't want the stuff.
I just moved into a place that's about 100 square feet smaller, with no garage. I'm going to have to be even more ruthless in getting rid of the stuff I already have, never mind the stuff we're given.
Every time my ds goes over there he comes home with bags of plastic made in China junk. So I told her for every one item he brings home, I'm bringing two to her house.
jeneca mommy to kamille, 6 lexi, 4
#3 due 2/28/12
I get so much of it from MIL and SIL for birthdays or christmas, either that or else SMELLY CANDLES -the fake really unatural smells I mean. Ick. Sometimes I can return it for store credit, but Bath and Body works hardly carries anything natural.
Tomorrow a bunch of STUFF is going to Goodwill. I can't bear it, it feels like drowning. Entire industries of making, importing,and selling useless, plastic, breakable STUFF. What a sickness in this society. One handmade gift or day spent with the kids is worth 2 Hefty bags full of STUFF.
I try to get rid of the stuff, but Dh insists on keeping it, saying that its "rude" to get rid of stuff his folks so generously give us! So instead it sits in our basement...
Mama to Emma (7) and Sarah (5)
She goes on lots of teacher conference trips, and always brings back junk--useless plastic gadgets for the kitchen, cheap plastic toys--
Since we're on the subject - here's an idea I had. Please tell me if this is incredibly tacky. My kids love to have birthday parties, and I love to throw them. Here's the problem - especially with my oldest - the super social one. She'll have a party with lots of kids and then gets lots of presents! She has a lot of stuff anyhow. I was really wondering if I could do something like this with the invitations this year. "Parents - please do not feel obligated to bring a present. If you want to give something to B, please consider giving her $5 and a handmade card, picture, or note. We will take her shopping on her birthday, so she can spend her birthday money on something she's been wanting. Again, please don't feel obligated to give anything. Your presence is the best present of all!" Please tell me if this is absolutely tacky!
Mooooom! to DS (1/05) and DSS (11/05). TTC our "ours" after VR on 10/12.
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