Anyone else dealing with partners clutter? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 11-15-2007, 06:55 PM - Thread Starter
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I spent the entire summer decluttering my own things. Donating clothes and other things that I don't use.

DH is in the process of decluttering his own things, which I am thrilled about. He has kept a lot of things from childhood that it is unlikely our future children will want, and he has tons of books he wants to donate.

Except that he has sort of piled boxes and boxes of things in the living/dinning room area and our kitchen. I keep encouraging him to let me help him load it in my car and I can take it to work with me ( I work at a DV shelter, anything that we can't use we pass along to a soup kitchen who sells the items to raise money for food). He keeps putting it off.. saying he will do it later, he wants to give his brother a chance to look through the things, etc, etc.

Meanwhile I can't see my dinning room table and I can't even get to the washer and dryer :

My DH is usually compusively neat, so this surprises me. I don't know, I have tried many suggestions but I am to the point where I don't want to seem like a nagging wife. But when our laundry room is part of the kitchen and the living area and dinning room table are all in the same room, I don't have a lot of space to play with here. I am to the point where I can't walk without bumping in to a box and I am embarassed to answer the door.

I don't know if I wanted to just vent or if I want advice

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
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#2 of 3 Old 11-16-2007, 06:26 PM
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We just moved into our first house and my MIL is bringing all of DH's old toys and stuff. Dh is putting it all in storage. I don't want the stuff at all! But... he's not emotionally ready to let go, so there's not much I can do. Some stuff I make a deal with him that if it's not used in the next 12 months we throw it out. Other stuff I might have to wait a few years before I can bring it up again. Rather than nagging him about decluttering, I suggest you ask him about the real problem - you can't see the dining room table and are embarrassed to answer the door. That way he can propose solutions that he can live with.

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#3 of 3 Old 11-16-2007, 06:55 PM
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Yes, my dh will just not deal with all his stuff. Thankfully he doesn't really care where it is as long as it is in the house. So everthing is clutter free except his side of our bedroom closet, which is full of crap!

Of course what I'd really like is for everything to be out of the house, but this is kind of a compromise. Basically I told him "You move it or I will." He told me I absolutely could not get rid of any of his things so I said I wouldn't but that if it wasn't being used it had to be put away. The closet is the compromise. Can you make some kind of deal with your dh like that? Rather than asking him, remind him that your living room etc is family space, not the place for his personal things, and if he doesn't take care of them in the manner he choose by this date, you are going to do it?

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