Yep, I really am! I am finally cleaning up and decluttering this apartment!!
DH and I moved into this place almost 18 months ago and never really unpacked. And when we moved, I was really stressed out with a lot of family stuff, so I never decluttered before or while packing up. It was pretty much dump and go.
Then, right after we moved, I started back to school (finally, after an almost-10-year hiatus!) and signed up for 2 summer classes even though I was still working full time. So I had 3 hours of class Monday-Thursday nights right after work, and I would get home around 10:00p.m. and study and finish homework until 2:00-3:00a.m. and then start all over again the next day. It was terrible! As you can imagine, nothing much was done around the apartment.
Then, last Fall I had to take a College Algebra class and my teacher was a total UAV and I pretty much had to teach myself (even though math is my worst subject!) and it took so much of my focus that I still didn't get anything done around the apartment.
Then, during the Spring semester, I ran into some family issues again and had to drop the class that I was taking (for my own pleasure and personal satisfaction
and I also was downsized from my job, and even though I finally had the time to deal with the mess, I just wasn't in the finest of mental health (to put it mildly) to handle it.
Then this past summer, I had to take a Trig class. This time the teacher was great, but I struggle so much with math, and I was cramming a 16-week class into 8 weeks, I just couldn't handle the class, the mess, and my continued poor mental health at the same time. So I just focused on the math.
Then, this semester, I signed up for Calculus -- and only calculus, because I knew that was all that I could handle. (And I was right!!) But the other thing that I wanted to get a handle on was my mental health issues, and I have really been addressing that. And somewhere in the last few weeks, I have really jumped a huge psychological hurdle. And I am finally dealing with my messy apartment. I am finally thoroughly unpacking after 18 months. I am finally clearing my home of all kinds of unneeded crap. And just like *that* too.
I didn't have to talk myself into it at all. I just started working on it, as if I hadn't ever felt any kind of anxiety about it before, as if cleaning out every room in my home is the most easy, most natural thing in the world.
I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never thought I would get functional enough to do this, to take on more than one monumental task at a time. But here I am!!! I'm doing it! Finally, finally, finally!!!!!
So to anyone out there who is looking around them and wondering how they will ever start or ever finish or how they will ever deal with it all, just give it time. Really, just give it time. And try not to beat yourself up while you do.
I was really hard on myself for not being able to deal with the mess/clutter, but I think I had to face more critical life and family issues first. And now that I have faced those issues, I have all of this new energy freed up to make my home the warm and serene place that I want it to be.
Good luck to everyone going through this process.
And, just as a teaser, I did take photos of the mess a number of weeks ago, so once I am finally finished getting this place spruced up, I will show you some before and after pics!!
Thanks for reading my nutso post!