Cleaning methods - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-29-2007, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
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So DH has been off all week. This has been great, because he's been doing projects around the house (he's a HUGE homebody) ALL WEEK. We have lots of decluttering and reorganizing to do before BOB comes in May/June-ish, so this time off is precious.

I have questions about different cleaning methods and how you and your DP handle them. DH and I got in one of those great marital spats that ended in me yelling "oh go **** yourself!" and storming out of the basement (totally ridiculous now that we look back ) over organizational techniques.

I pick a room, and do a clean sweep. Top to bottom, everything cleaned, the way I want it, and back in place. That way, even if the rest of the house is a shambles, I can go into the study, take a deep breath, and say "ok, I did the study, so I can do the rest of the house."

Keith will do all the floors in the house, leaving everything up on tables and couches, then do a project in the kitchen, then do one in the bathroom, etc. By the end of a couple hours, the whole house is trashed and all of the rooms are completely unusable (can you tell this isn't an unbiased opinion?? ).

His POV is that he likes seeing a little bit of progress in each room because it makes him feel like something's getting done in a big way. I told him that all it does is stress me out because the whole house looks TRASHED.

Do any of you have this same problem with your DPs? How do you deal with it?

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#2 of 3 Old 12-29-2007, 03:41 PM
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Would your husband be willing to do a compromise version of his plan, where he does a little in each room, but cleans up afterward? For example, he can do all the floors in the house, but then the stuff that belonged on the floor goes back on the floor, and the stuff that didn't goes in boxes or whatever, so that the rooms are usable.

That way, you're not forcing him to do it your way, where you do the whole room before moving on, but he's also not forcing you to deal with chaos.

Alternatively, can you agree on an interval at which he will "clean up after the cleanup" so that he can have freedom of action for a few hours or a day or two, but you can have the reassurance of knowing that the mess has a limited lifespan?

Odds are that I'm thinking of this as much simpler than it is, but I thought I'd mention it just in case you haven't discussed compromise positions.

I know that I wouldn't like to do the all-of-the-room plan, because I like to just sort of amble around doing each task as I feel like it. But I also regularly stop and clean up after my cleaning, plus if I'm going to make a mess sorting or folding or knocking down boxes or whatever, I'll try to choose a location where that mess is more tolerable. (Like my own miniscule den, where I'm entitled to have it as messy as I please.)

I do have a similar problem with my SO, but in his case it's not usually house-wide chaos, but small heaps of junk (tools, parts, scraps, instructions) wherever he's done a project like installing a light switch, hanging something, etc. So it's an annoyance, and I'm working on getting him to clean up after his projects, but it's more tolerable than what you describe.

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#3 of 3 Old 12-29-2007, 03:53 PM
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Cleaning is just about the only thing dh and I argue about...and we have some real doozies! Right now what works is that I have a list of what gets done daily and weekly. I make a real effort to get done or delegate these items. Dh does help where he can when he is home (usually with laundry).It brings dh peace I guess to know I have it on paper and it will get done eventually on this schedule.

Any deep organizational things I have to do when he is not home because if I didn't he would drive me insane just by being present. Not his fault I just prefer to work alone. I do the bulk of the organizing as I am home considerably more often than he (he works out of town several days a week)When dh organizes things (like his computer stuff) he is rather anal about it and gets crabby too which in turn also makes me insane so I try to make myself scarce when he does these things thankfully it is rare.

Not much help I know. I have nev er met a couple who truly saw eye to eye on these things.

Mommy to Alonzo (11), Jacob (9), : Lucas (8) & Trinity (almost 2!!)
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