Anyone else enjoying Flylady? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 03:21 PM
 
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The most helpful thing of all for me was the change in attitude. I really did go from resenting all the housework to seeing it as blessing my home and my family. Even if I gained nothing more from her than that, it was worth it.
I will look at it again (I think I did the first 3 days and then I got real busy with something and forgot to pick it up again). But I do not resent housework, and feel it is a blessing for my family. My problem is just that I feel so overwhelmed.

I understand FL helps with the overwhelm by just having you do a little at a time, but the part that gets me down every time is that it takes exactly 2 days for my house to fall COMPLETELY apart. Only 2 days. So I feel like I have no margin for error. If I'm sick or if I spend my energy for a day or two on another project (outdoors or something), then boom, I have to start from the very beginning again.

I hate that, and it saps my energy. It's like, why bother.

If it took a week to fall apart, that might be ok. But, god, 2 days??

And I don't even mean that 1 day of letting it go is still close to good, it's already close to terrible after 1 day, but 2 days is all it takes for the house to get to the WORST it gets.

And if you think I'm a perfectionist, and the worst is not bad, that is not the case. I'm talking dishes everywhere, mountains of laundry all over the floor, food spills on the floor from DD, EVERYTHING.

So I feel like even with FL, if the routine is disturbed for a mere 2 days, I have to spend enormous amounts of energy to get it back (either all at once, or just by starting all over again with FL and spending weeks or months).

Any thoughts on the above? Is that just the reality, that you just HAVE to stick with it at ALL costs?

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#32 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#33 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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Is there an official Flylady book?

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#34 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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I will look at it again (I think I did the first 3 days and then I got real busy with something and forgot to pick it up again). But I do not resent housework, and feel it is a blessing for my family. My problem is just that I feel so overwhelmed.

I understand FL helps with the overwhelm by just having you do a little at a time, but the part that gets me down every time is that it takes exactly 2 days for my house to fall COMPLETELY apart. Only 2 days. So I feel like I have no margin for error. If I'm sick or if I spend my energy for a day or two on another project (outdoors or something), then boom, I have to start from the very beginning again.

I hate that, and it saps my energy. It's like, why bother.

If it took a week to fall apart, that might be ok. But, god, 2 days??

And I don't even mean that 1 day of letting it go is still close to good, it's already close to terrible after 1 day, but 2 days is all it takes for the house to get to the WORST it gets.

And if you think I'm a perfectionist, and the worst is not bad, that is not the case. I'm talking dishes everywhere, mountains of laundry all over the floor, food spills on the floor from DD, EVERYTHING.

So I feel like even with FL, if the routine is disturbed for a mere 2 days, I have to spend enormous amounts of energy to get it back (either all at once, or just by starting all over again with FL and spending weeks or months).

Any thoughts on the above? Is that just the reality, that you just HAVE to stick with it at ALL costs?
I hear you. My kitchen is almost always a disaster and it bothers me so much. I can make it look really nice and keep up for days, but then if something happens (toddler needs me right after dinner/older kids fighting/etc) and I can't do it after dinner, it's a dump and I can't get out from under it. It's horribly frustrating and I'd love to hear thoughts as well.

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Is there an official Flylady book?
Sink Reflections. Everything in the book is on here website though, I think.
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#35 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 04:07 PM
 
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i love flylady. it works when i do it
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#36 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 05:48 PM
 
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laohaire, I know what you mean. That happens around here, but it's because 1. there is too much stuff in our home (so more mess can be created), 2. storage is too full of stuff so it's hard for family members to put things away, 3. there are some organizational issues where it's not convenient enough for family members to put things away. I am making babysteps on dealing with this stuff and I am finding that things don't fall apart as quickly. Having too much stuff in a room doesn't just make it take longer to clean/tidy, it can take double or triple the length of time and make it feel more overwhelming in the process (making it more likely that giving up will happen). Flylady is really hardcore that you start with decluttering 15 minutes a day -- that really makes sense to me. All the other stuff is not do-able if you have the practical and emotional barriers of living with too much stuff. Even seeing small changes is really motivating me to get going on this. One of the best things that I've done is declutter some pieces of furniture from our living area. It has makes the room look and feel more spacious and less cr@p can collect in and on the excess furniture.

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#37 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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All the other stuff is not do-able if you have the practical and emotional barriers of living with too much stuff.
We're in the decluttering forum, so you are preaching to the choir here, but ... AMEN.



I have found that if I have too much stuff to clean, then Flylady's routines are too much for me. My home blessing "HOUR" takes more like three.

But when I keep things simple and pared down, then I can clean everything up in a snap.

For me the hard part was realizing that I couldn't just declutter ONCE and have it stay that way...that decluttering was really something that I had to do every single day, just like flylady says.

Because an area of my life that is totally cleaned-up (my file cabinet, for example) will quickly become full of clutter again and need to be tackled again in six months.

I need to stick with that fifteen minutes a day rule.

 

 

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#38 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 07:11 PM
 
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That's a good point - I'm not new to decluttering, so I don't know why I didn't think of that.

Not new, but haven't fully achieved it yet. I have fully decluttered all of the downstairs except the kitchen and the kitchen closet - GAH!!!! The kitchen closet looks like an 8 or a 9 in the "how cluttered is your house" thread. However, it's not affecting me, since I rarely open that door.

Upstairs, however, I just haven't had the energy (been through a moderate health issue this year for starters).

But yeah I can see, less stuff means less disaster. If I managed to pare down significantly, then an all-out total disaster still shouldn't take that long to clean up.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#39 of 51 Old 08-25-2008, 09:14 PM
 
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But yeah I can see, less stuff means less disaster. If I managed to pare down significantly, then an all-out total disaster still shouldn't take that long to clean up.


That's awesome that you've been decluttering. Peter Walsh and Flylady would both probably recommend that you tackle your master bedroom next -- that's also a very important room from a feng shui perspective.

sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
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#40 of 51 Old 08-27-2008, 02:10 AM
 
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So I happened upon this thread this morning and didn't give it much thought. I"ve heard about her and checked out her website before (a long time ago) and didn't think I really needed the help. But I checked her out again this morning and read the part about shining the sink. We moved into this 1912 house a year ago and I thought the white sinks were just stained dingy brown no matter how I cleaned them.

WELL I was WRONG!! I did the sink shine thing today and now I am almost blinded when I look into the sink! I wish I had before and after pics. Boy it really keeps me wanting to keep the sink cleared out and dishes away or in the dishwasher just so I can look at my clean sink. So now I guess I'll have to check the rest out and see if I can amaze myself again tomorrow! :

                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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#41 of 51 Old 08-27-2008, 08:26 AM
 
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Anyone up for sharing some pictures so we can comiserate together? When I get back home I'll take a few of my 'bad spots' lol...
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#42 of 51 Old 08-27-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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Anyone up for sharing some pictures so we can comiserate together? When I get back home I'll take a few of my 'bad spots' lol...
I don't know about that. Do you want to hear how much of an awful perfectionist I am? I don't have current pictures on file (nor a current house inventory) for insurance, even though that was my New Year's resolution in 2007!

Do you know why I don't have pictures? Because the house never looks "perfect" enough to photograph!

Nichole
wife to Sasha, mom to Marlena, nursed for 3.5 years, aunt to 3 adorable nephews
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#43 of 51 Old 08-27-2008, 05:25 PM
 
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Whatever works for folks...but I thought I'd chime in that I've heard flylady say that she doesn't encourage before and after photos. Documenting the chaos makes you focus on the big picture of how bad things are. Then you feel even worse and more overwhelmed. Flylady holds your hand while you focus on the little picture. Just spending 15 minutes decluttering, or shining your sink daily.

sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
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#44 of 51 Old 08-27-2008, 05:31 PM
 
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didn't mean to fluff everyones feathers....
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#45 of 51 Old 08-27-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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didn't mean to fluff everyones feathers....
I'm not sure if you're talking about me, but my feathers are smooth ...I just wanted to share about the flylady philosophy in case you weren't familiar with it .

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#46 of 51 Old 10-05-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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i love flylady. it works when i do it

*

Same here 00
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#47 of 51 Old 10-05-2008, 09:49 PM
 
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I really love Flylady. I am laughing at the OP who felt like talking too much about it made her feel like a cult member, because I feel much the same way. :-) But it's really helped me let go of a lot of guilt issues about getting rid of things, a lot of anxiety about my house and my own abilities as a housekeeper, a lot of perfectionsim (although there's still a way to go on that.)

I don't do everything lockstep with Flylady, but I do agree that it makes life easier to have a basic schedule for cleaning, to do a little bit of decluttering at a time, to have routines established, etc. Once an area gets mostly decluttered and cleaned up it's not going to be "done forever". But I do sort of rotate through zones, so I will do more effort in one specific place, and then the next time I pass through there it's a lower, maintenance level of decluttering and cleaning, rather than a huge overwhelming wreck.

DH and I were talking about this at dinner last night, how much Flylady has really changed our approach and our life. I (we both) used to be waaay more disorganized and cluttery and my all-or-nothing approach made cleaning a huge ordeal. We used to really want a clean house but not know really how to get there, and we'd both together spend a huge proportion of every weekend cleaning. Now I clean less but my house is actually a lot cleaner, even with a kid! Neither of us did any cleaning this weekend, and there are some things around where they shouldn't be (toys, shoes, papers, etc.) but nothing that will take more than about 20 minutes for me to pick up and the house looks basically clean.
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#48 of 51 Old 10-06-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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So, is there a good "general overview" type thing on her website anywhere?? I looked around and found the list of baby steps, and that you can sign up for daily emails. Is that what you all mean when you talk about "starting with" flylady?

Thanks!!

Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always
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#49 of 51 Old 10-06-2008, 08:08 PM
 
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So, is there a good "general overview" type thing on her website anywhere??
This is the overview of the whole system. But you are supposed to start with the babysteps when you're starting, not try to implement the whole system.

sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
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#50 of 51 Old 10-12-2008, 08:12 AM
 
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It's the beginning of a new week ... and I'm back in!

Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 - a teenager, a kindergartener, twin boys and a tiny princess. Follow the Adventures! 

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#51 of 51 Old 10-15-2008, 03:46 AM
 
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Hi all. I'm joining. I haven't even looked at her site but after reading this thread I think I'm sold.

J+B = Little G (1/08) and baby S (1/10)
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