A Christmas gift rant... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 11-03-2008, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I've got to rant about this because it's bugging me so much. :

This weekend, my ILs called to talk to DH and wish him a happy birthday. During the conversation, my MIL mentioned that they bought DS a PowerWheel tractor toy for Christmas! I am so hopping mad about this for several reasons.
#1, We've repeatedly asked for NO gifts!
#2, We live in a small house with no garage and we have no place to put such a huge toy.
#3, I can think of about 25 better ways to spend the $200 (or more) dollars that it cost for this stupid toy!
#4 DS is only 2 years old, nuf said!
#5 We have a postage stamp of a yard and liVe on a busy urban street, so there is no safe place for DS to ride it if I were to allow him.



To make matters worse, they couldn't fit the thing in their car, so they took it out of the box to take it home. So now it's not returnable!!!

I have suggested to DH that his parents will need to keep it at their house. They have a 2 car garage, barn, and an acre of land. So they have the room to keep it and more space for DS to play with it. He's not happy with the idea. I am afraid that I will come off as the angry spouse (that I am) if I have to say anything about it. It just makes me so mad that they would buy a gift that is so out of line with our beliefs and how we live! If they make us take it home (and I'm not sure we have a car big enough to haul it I have half a mind to sell it on ebay.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. If you have any suggestions with how to deal with this, please share.
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#2 of 18 Old 11-03-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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Oh boy, I feel your pain. My dad continually asks if he can get the same type of thing for DS. I keep repeating over and over, our yard isn't big enough, there is no place to ride it (we live on a busy street), etc. and he still doesn't get it.

I would probably stress the danger issue and your lack to storage. If all else fails and you are forced to bring it to your house, I would Ebay it.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#3 of 18 Old 11-03-2008, 07:37 PM
 
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My ds would be over the moon if he got that sort of gift! Sadly he lacks relatives who want to spoil him. If I wasn't confident it would be way too small for my 7 yo, I'd offer to take it off your hands.

Anyway, suggesting they keep it at their house is an excellent idea.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#4 of 18 Old 11-03-2008, 09:00 PM
 
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I feel your pain. I used to stress out about this a lot (my mother being the primary offender here) but eventually just kind of let it go and would just find a new home for the item. My mother doesn't live locally, so I don't have the awkwardness that other folks have when the gift-giver lives in town, but honestly, I'd probably do it anyway. My mother did catch me once - asked about a ride-on toy that she gave, and I said the neighbors were borrowing it. Which was mostly the truth. Except they were borrowing it permanently

The fact that the money could be so much better spent otherwise is still something that bugs me, but I also just vent to DH about it and let it go. The thing I really wish my mother would use with the money would be for her retirement - I don't relish the idea of supporting my parents in old age because my mother can't stop buying stupid toys for my kid.

Guilt for getting rid of gifts? No, I don't feel it. I've made my feelings clear. She gives a gift, we can do whatever we like with it. If she doesn't like it, she is certainly entitled to stop giving gifts. Which would be fabulous

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#5 of 18 Old 11-03-2008, 09:06 PM
 
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My ds would be over the moon if he got that sort of gift! Sadly he lacks relatives who want to spoil him. If I wasn't confident it would be way too small for my 7 yo, I'd offer to take it off your hands.

Anyway, suggesting they keep it at their house is an excellent idea.
ditto

Kelly,newly single mom of four wonderful children.

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#6 of 18 Old 11-03-2008, 09:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by slsurface View Post
Ok, I've got to rant about this because it's bugging me so much. :

This weekend, my ILs called to talk to DH and wish him a happy birthday. During the conversation, my MIL mentioned that they bought DS a PowerWheel tractor toy for Christmas! I am so hopping mad about this for several reasons.
#1, We've repeatedly asked for NO gifts!
#2, We live in a small house with no garage and we have no place to put such a huge toy.
#3, I can think of about 25 better ways to spend the $200 (or more) dollars that it cost for this stupid toy!
#4 DS is only 2 years old, nuf said!
#5 We have a postage stamp of a yard and liVe on a busy urban street, so there is no safe place for DS to ride it if I were to allow him.



To make matters worse, they couldn't fit the thing in their car, so they took it out of the box to take it home. So now it's not returnable!!!

I have suggested to DH that his parents will need to keep it at their house. They have a 2 car garage, barn, and an acre of land. So they have the room to keep it and more space for DS to play with it. He's not happy with the idea. I am afraid that I will come off as the angry spouse (that I am) if I have to say anything about it. It just makes me so mad that they would buy a gift that is so out of line with our believes and how we live! If they make us take it home (and I'm not sure we have a car big enough to haul it I have half a mind to sell it on ebay.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. If you have any suggestions with how to deal with this, please share.
I am so sorry, honestly this would really annoy me as well. I think you should really stress your concerns about safety and space and keep the darn thing at your inlaws. If they have a barn and an acre of land, the most appropriate place for it is at their place. No way would I let my 2 year old on one of those things anyway.

If they make you take it home, sell it or give it away... having to look at it daily would piss me off.

These things kind of suck but try to give the gifter the benefit of the doubt that his/her intention is only to make your son happy.

Marina, married to one really great guy : and mama to three magical boys- Matteo 8/05, Nico 11/06 and Luca Bean 11/08
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#7 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 12:16 PM
 
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i have a good enough relationship with mil that i would just call ahead and say, "i heard you got him a tractor! he's going to love riding that around your big yard all summer. we can keep it in your barn until then, right? because we have nowhere to store it and nowhere safe for him to ride it . . . " if you can't do that, i would just make sure there was no way to get it in the car to bring it home, lol.
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#8 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 03:10 PM
 
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well... nobody can MAKE you do anything....including take home toys I think keeping it at their place is a great idea too, it sounds perfect with the land and garages! It will be your son's special thing to do every time he visits.

Rant away, I'm sure that plenty of Christmas ranters are going to be popping up, I'm just waiting for my own family to start the rantable things too.
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#9 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 06:20 PM
 
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OP- Just curious. Why doesn't your DH think it is a good idea to keep the toy at his parents house? It sounds like a perfect idea. They get to give the gift and watch dc enjoy it at their house. Maybe that is what they were thinking. I am assuming they know you have no garage and no place to store or ride the toy.

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#10 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the supportive comments.

To answer your question Zach'sMom, I have to give a little background. Even though the ILs know that we don't have a lot of space, they don't seem to care, because DH did mention the space issue to them while on the phone. They're response was, "You can store it in the shed" (we have a 10 by 10 foot shed). DH said "my shed is full" (and it is, DH stores two motor cycles and all our lawn tools in it and there is barely room to breath)...his mom said "Oh, well then you can put it in the basement." I was not in on the conversation, otherwise I would have said "OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

I refuse to lug the thing up and down rickety 92 year old stairs for one. Also, I just spent most of the summer doing a massive purge of the boxes in the basement. And FYI, most of the clutter hogging up my basement is from the ILs. After we bought the house last year, they brought up a truck load of junk that they call "heirlooms" and dumped it on us. <grrrr> So this is sort of an ongoing thing.

I really have a good relationship with my ILs. Really. It's just ever since we bought this house they can't seem to stop themselves from giving us tons of unwanted stuff!!! Ack! Now that they are retired, all they want to do is spend and shop for DS. And because my father tragically died last year, my FIL has this misguided notion that he has to give DS more to make up for the loss of his other grandfather. It sucks. :

So getting back to your question, DH doesn't think it's a good idea because he doesn't want to disappoint his parents. I can understand that to some point, especially since we live 3 hours away and don't visit all that often (we just don't have the money to spend of gas for travel). But we have to draw a line somewhere, so I feel like this crazy toy needs to live with them.
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#11 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 07:49 PM
 
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...his mom said "Oh, well then you can put it in the basement."
Oh, this is too easy.

"DIL, where's the huge truck we bought your kid?"
"Oh, it's in the basement."

Bye-bye truck.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#12 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 07:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, this is too easy.

"DIL, where's the huge truck we bought your kid?"
"Oh, it's in the basement."

Bye-bye truck.
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#13 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 07:53 PM
 
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That is so something my MIL would do...I can totally understand why you are annoyed!
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#14 of 18 Old 11-04-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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I think it makes perfect sense that it stays with the grandparents. They have storage space and room to ride it. It doesn't mean you're rejecting the gift.
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#15 of 18 Old 11-05-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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store it in the basement? don't the batteries in those things spontaneously catch fire?

that's a typical grandparent gift!
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#16 of 18 Old 11-05-2008, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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store it in the basement? don't the batteries in those things spontaneously catch fire?
What?! Really?! : Just one more reason to dislike the thing! Please share any links that you have about this startling info. I'd like to be safe. Thanks.
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#17 of 18 Old 11-06-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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My MIL used to do stuff like this to us all of the time. She is a hoarder and when she would run out of room for her stuff she would give some to us. After a few years she realized that when she gave us something I felt free to get rid of it and she's stopped giving us stuff. She buys crazy, bulky, plastic toys for the kids from time to time and I just keep it for a bit, then pass it on to the DAV.

I totally understand your anger, when you're working so hard to have a clean and clear space and someone seems to be sabotaging your efforts. I constantly remind myself that the ILs really do mean well, and that they aren't ever going to "get it" and that helps me both with being nice about it and with nicely just getting rid of what we don't want.

Keri, wife to Tony, mom to five DDs: M ('96), S('01), E('04), A('07) and J('10);
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#18 of 18 Old 12-02-2008, 07:33 PM
 
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What?! Really?! : Just one more reason to dislike the thing! Please share any links that you have about this startling info. I'd like to be safe. Thanks.



Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,232 Um this is slightly OT but with regards to the Power Wheels thing-y

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml99/99012.html (Old one)

http://babyparenting.about.com/b/200...s-recalled.htm (Newer one)

I forgot to post how these things are fire hazards!
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