Would you move if you knew the new neighbors were AWFUL? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 27 Old 08-09-2011, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We bought a beautiful piece of land a year ago in an acreage subdivision. We have a gorgeous view which is partly the reason we bought it but it is on a slope so there is very limited space to build on the top to take advantage of the view. 

 

Our soon-to-be neighbors (one couple) are incensed that we are building in that location as it directly blocks their view out the front (their back view is unobstructed but less interesting). We are probably building 5-600 ft away from these neighbors but the view is on the horizon so it is blocked by our home.  They haven't lived in their house yet but will be moving in soon. 

 

So far they have: secretly recorded a conversation between themselves and us (unsure as to purpose), threatened lawyers etc (no basis),stated we "had better be careful if we build there because we will have to live in the neighborhood etc.

 

We really value good neighbors. We had great neighbors for 10 years and then they moved and it got us thinking about moving too. Only now we seem to have the neighbors from hell. I keep wondering how irrational they will get, what they will do to make us miserable if we live there etc. 

 

I am hopeful the other neighbors (who have a ton of kids close to ours in age) will be friendlier but they belong to the same religion as psycho neighbors and I wonder if they would be swayed by her opinion. Except our friend out there tell us she has been causing problems with all the neighbors already.

 

We love this land but want to raise our children in a peaceful environment. What would you do?

Dandelionkid is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 03:40 AM
 
1stimestar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Fairbanks, Alaska
Posts: 1,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I guess you can't blame them for being mad about loosing THEIR view in exchange for the view of the back of your house.  They "might" not be able to do anything legally but pissed off neighbors sure could make your life miserable.  Good luck. 

1stimestar is offline  
#3 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 06:23 AM
 
karne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Difficult neighbors can make for a difficult life.  I'm not sure how far they would go to block your building, or if they even would have a leg to stand on.  Did you say if you have a good attorney?  

 

I don't know if this is a "country living" question, per se.  I will say that where I live, folks are incredibly protective of their rights to do what they will on their property, within the bounds of law/codes, etc.  Barns have to have certain set backs, manure needs to be dealt with in a specific way, certain acreage for livestock.  When you have your land, you use it for your purposes.

 

Did these folks not understand that your property would eventually be built on when they purchased theirs?  That seems more like their issue than yours.

karne is offline  
#4 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 06:34 AM
 
hildare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: in-the-sticks-off-a-dirt-road, GA
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

so.... they own a lot in a subdivision and are angry because you are building a house on a lot in a subdivision, for which building homes is intended?  headscratch.gif

 

that's beyond weird.  and the recording of conversation is... wow.  just wow. 

and if they had a problem with somebody building there, screw em, they should have bought your lot to keep it from happening. 

they don't even live there and they're starting trouble?  that sounds awful.  i would personally move in and just ignore/avoid and make it very clear that if they approach you or try to record you in any way you will take legal action.  set boundaries early.  i wouldn't let crazies keep me from living where i intended though.  maybe a fence will help??  


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

hildare is offline  
#5 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 06:40 AM
 
crunchy_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hmm I might offer to sell them the land for more than it's worth. Then they can control what happens with it & you make out financially and can move somewhere else.

But really, you never know what neighbors will be like until you're living there.... you could move somewhere else and have even more unexpected neighbor issues. redface.gif
Momsteader and Tjej like this.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
crunchy_mommy is offline  
#6 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 08:38 AM
 
SweetSilver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Westfarthing
Posts: 5,233
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 79 Post(s)

My sister-in-law has a neighbor like you've described, and the fight is over *1 foot* of land.  He makes things miserable for them, a decade or more after they built the house.  Luckily it is a vacation home, not their permanent residence.  I seriously would consider selling before investing in a house.  Beautiful land can be found in many places and so can good neighbors.


"Let me see you stripped down to the bone. Let me hear you speaking just for me."
SweetSilver is offline  
#7 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 05:52 PM
 
1stimestar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Fairbanks, Alaska
Posts: 1,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

A very similar thing did happen here.  The back neighbors took the front neighbors to court.  They did loose their case but it cost them both a lot in fees.  Also, Alaska is the land of do what you want on your own property with very little to no permits ect. required.  So it might be different in your area. 

1stimestar is offline  
#8 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by hildare View Post

so.... they own a lot in a subdivision and are angry because you are building a house on a lot in a subdivision, for which building homes is intended?  headscratch.gif

 

that's beyond weird.  and the recording of conversation is... wow.  just wow. 

and if they had a problem with somebody building there, screw em, they should have bought your lot to keep it from happening. 

they don't even live there and they're starting trouble?  that sounds awful.  i would personally move in and just ignore/avoid and make it very clear that if they approach you or try to record you in any way you will take legal action.  set boundaries early.  i wouldn't let crazies keep me from living where i intended though.  maybe a fence will help??  


This is our perspective. Beautiful land for the price we got this for is hard to find around here. We are planning to put up better boundaries. I asked her three times in the course of the crazy conversation why she didn't buy it first- lied to my first question and I called her on the lie, then she had no answer the next couple times. I know the answer- her land was 35,000 cheaper than ours. 

 

Dandelionkid is offline  
#9 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stimestar View Post

I guess you can't blame them for being mad about loosing THEIR view in exchange for the view of the back of your house.  They "might" not be able to do anything legally but pissed off neighbors sure could make your life miserable.  Good luck. 



Thanks- I don't blame them for being mad just for taking out their anger on us. I would be disappointed too but would have expected that someone would build up on the slope rather than the flood plain below. We have pretty good county rules here- called the county and they said the neighbors have no right to tell us where to build on our own land.

Dandelionkid is offline  
#10 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 10:31 PM
 
ElliesMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dandelionkid View Post





Thanks- I don't blame them for being mad just for taking out their anger on us. I would be disappointed too but would have expected that someone would build up on the slope rather than the flood plain below. We have pretty good county rules here- called the county and they said the neighbors have no right to tell us where to build on our own land.


tell them exactly that, that you called the county and here's what they said. then add that you understand their disappointment, but hope they can see how you can't be expected to build in a flood plain! 

 

it sounds like what you have going on is a classic "bullying" situation. 

 


ElliesMomma is offline  
#11 of 27 Old 08-10-2011, 10:56 PM
 
zebra15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 4,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)

Makes me wonder what is gonna happen when you start planting trees.  LOL

Sounds like your 'neighbor' needs something else to keep her busy.


Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

zebra15 is online now  
#12 of 27 Old 08-11-2011, 08:46 AM
 
hildare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: in-the-sticks-off-a-dirt-road, GA
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

!!  and if you were getting a bank loan to build the house, if the area you wanted was in a flood plain, the bank would most likely not approve it and depending on where you live and whether you have city septic/sewer, the area would have to pass a percolation test to get permits.  you'd probably not have a choice at all!


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

hildare is offline  
#13 of 27 Old 08-12-2011, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by zebra15 View Post

Makes me wonder what is gonna happen when you start planting trees.  LOL

Sounds like your 'neighbor' needs something else to keep her busy.



I know!  We were willing to keep the trees out of their "view" line but with the craziness we have pretty much decided that we will be planting the trees wherever it suits us. I would not be surprised if the trees mysteriously died. Or maybe I am being paranoid.

Dandelionkid is offline  
#14 of 27 Old 08-12-2011, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post




tell them exactly that, that you called the county and here's what they said. then add that you understand their disappointment, but hope they can see how you can't be expected to build in a flood plain! 

 

it sounds like what you have going on is a classic "bullying" situation. 

 


 

That's what people are telling me- I was assertive throughout crazy conversation and she ended it rather pleasantly. Isn't that what bullies do when you don't back down to them? She tried crying about it all in the first meeting we had (big long story about how she bought the land for that view because of Grandpa so-and-so) and then she was still all worked up when we offered to move it over a few feet so she could see that particular view. What they want is the whole view and nothing but the whole view and we have been far to nice to them so far (when we thought they were rational type people). We are pretty much done with them unless they want to apologize and change their method of communication.

 

Dandelionkid is offline  
#15 of 27 Old 08-12-2011, 02:03 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stimestar View Post

I guess you can't blame them for being mad about loosing THEIR view in exchange for the view of the back of your house.

 

I can. It's a subdivision, someone was going to eventually build a home on the land which is what is happening now. The view isn't "theirs," they just got to enjoy it for awhile until the land was sold to someone who is going to build on it.


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#16 of 27 Old 08-13-2011, 03:15 PM
 
JamieCatheryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: SW Pa
Posts: 5,066
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)

How big are these parcels of land anyway? I'd think you only ensure your view if you get a larger piece of land, you know own the land you don't want people building on...

JamieCatheryn is offline  
#17 of 27 Old 08-14-2011, 02:50 PM
 
CarrieMF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan
Posts: 8,864
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'd ignore them & not take any of their opinions or wants into question.

 

they could have paid that extra $35,000 for the view they wanted.  

 

They haven't moved in yet & are causing issues with all the neighbors then I wouldn't worry about them being able to get the other neighbors against you or anything.

CarrieMF is offline  
#18 of 27 Old 08-16-2011, 05:56 AM
 
ElliesMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

next time they bring it up, remind them that they can always move. and then stick to that line, only.


ElliesMomma is offline  
#19 of 27 Old 08-25-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

They should have ponied up the 35k for the view they wanted. I would build the house(not moving it like you offered) and plant plenty of trees. Some tall bamboo,but I have found gigaticus mithcantus is really good until the trees grow in.

 

You can always sell the home later.Just be sure on the property lines and put in a fence asap.You neighbors are already NsFH.Right now they are just seeing what they can get away with.

mattemma04 is offline  
#20 of 27 Old 08-27-2011, 02:27 PM
 
Thystle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 2,423
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dandelionkid View Post





I know!  We were willing to keep the trees out of their "view" line but with the craziness we have pretty much decided that we will be planting the trees wherever it suits us. I would not be surprised if the trees mysteriously died. Or maybe I am being paranoid.



If you do move there and fear ahead of time that they may retaliate.... make sure to put up game cams all around... they are not too pricey... easily hidden and can garner your video and/or photo proof.

 

Oh and build the biggest/highest/thickest/strongest perimeter fence ASAP that you legally can. And do NOT keep any animals right next to their section of the fence for them to torment or toss posioned meat over to.

 

If you plan to live there assume the worst and prepare for it AHEAD of time... not when it is too late. Then hope for the best. If you can't handle living with that mindset then I would look to move elsewhere.

 

 

Good luck!!!

 

 


Resistance is futile Matey
Thystle is offline  
#21 of 27 Old 08-28-2011, 04:36 AM
 
Lovesong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

There is no guarantee that you would get better neighbours somewhere else. If nothing else, people move in and people move out. So, the perfect neighbours you've had for a year somewhere else might just be replaced my another couple from hell. There are no guarantees. Like right now, we are dealing with a woman who have NO respect whatsoever for our wishes. All she cares about is herself and her wishes. For instance, she hates lilacs...and the boundary between our gardens is a 50-year old lilac hedge (standing on OUR property). It was leaning against their garage a bit, built right at the border before we got the 4-metre rule in place here in Sweden. So, she asked if she could remove the bits touching their garage roof...

 

We said of course you might take some branches off that are disturbing you! She took that as the go-ahead for chopping down several of the trees, on our property, severely damaging the shape and look of the old hedge that has great value to us, because it is part of the original garden design. When we gently said, next time we met her "whoops, you took more of the lilac than we thought you would!" smiling sweetly, since we are anxious not to start a fight, she just shrugged and told us "so what, it is just lilac!" It isn't just lilac. It is 50-year old lilac trees, which is very different from most modern lilac hedges that are just bushes. And now, she wants to remove the old concrete pillar on our side of the drive (we regrettably share a drive). With no appreciation for the fact that it has a historic value, since it is built from concrete blocks once manufactured in our village and thus part of the village history. No, gone with everything that does not suit her and her idea of what is beautiful with no regard whatsoever for our sentiments. Really...grrr.

 

When we moved in ten years ago, the situation was very different. We had wonderful neighbours, whom helped us learn the ropes of using a furnace, and how to light a fireplace. In turn, we helped them set up their internet connection and things like that. Really good.

 

So, don't let a bad neighbour deter you. Just make sure to really properly mark out the property line so there can't be any fights about that. Oh, and please, even if it is tempting to, don't start retaliating in a thousand and one little ways. For instance, by planting quick growing, high trees to further block her light and view. That is just asking for trouble. Just be reasonable, be firm, and don't stoop to her level whatever you do, since that might give her legal reason to sue you.

 

 

Lovesong is offline  
#22 of 27 Old 08-29-2011, 09:43 AM
 
CrunchyJess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 37
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Well, I work in the permits and code enforcement office of our city hall, and unfortunately I have seen first hand what ugly neighbors can do.  Truthfully though, from my side of things (the side the gets complained to), grouchy people can't LEGALLY do anything about you building and blocking their view.  It always surprises me when people get upset that the empty lots in their subdivision are being built on.  I mean, its a subdivision. Those lots are for sale for the sole purpose of being developed, not to provide exsisting houses with greenspace and nice views.  They knew that when they bought their place.

 

Haha, this is funny.  I'm at work right now and one of the inspectors is on the phone. He literally just said "Well, here's the point. We aren't going to retaliate against one neighbor just because another neighbor has a grudge or hard feelings towards them"

 

So there you go.  It might not be pleasant to live next to people who don't like you, but I personally would not let that deter me,


jess-  capturing His creation from behind my Nikon and nurturing what bit of it He gave me when He made me a mother.

 

www.thehodgepodgedarling.blogspot.com

CrunchyJess is offline  
#23 of 27 Old 08-29-2011, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for all the replies. It really is helpful to know that most of you would still move. We are pretty certain about moving also and the bonus in the craziness is that I have no desire to please them anymore. I don't have retaliation in mind but the willingness to give a little to their wishes is completely gone. Apparently they admitted to a mutual acquaintance that they realized they crossed a line by recording our conversation. Hopefully that little bit of enlightenment means that they are not completely insane. Regardless, I feel a lot more peaceful about things :)

Dandelionkid is offline  
#24 of 27 Old 08-29-2011, 08:11 PM
 
babygirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

meh

babygirlie is offline  
#25 of 27 Old 08-29-2011, 08:12 PM
 
babygirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

After the Bush/terrorism issues it's legal to record phone calls. You hear them all the time now.

babygirlie is offline  
#26 of 27 Old 08-31-2011, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by babygirlie View Post

After the Bush/terrorism issues it's legal to record phone calls. You hear them all the time now.


Yup- it's totally legal (they just can't use it in the court of law). I don't care much about legality though. In this context (supposed friendly neighborly chat), secretly recording our face-to-face conversation was just plain sneaky and aggressive. 

Dandelionkid is offline  
#27 of 27 Old 04-09-2012, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

*

Dandelionkid is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off