How to go about finding a therapist? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 02-25-2009, 06:07 PM - Thread Starter
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Dh needs to find someone but we don't really know where to look. He just went to a place but it was kind of strange and just not what he needs.

The back story is that he started seeing a therapist while in the military for "work related stress." It was more than that I was sure, but dh didn't see it that way. Anyways he went, they put him on anti-depressants after 1 session and then he only had to come back whenever the rx ran out (every 3 mos). Usually they'd just ask if he needed more and he'd say yes and that was the entire visit. The anti-depressant helped big time but IMO he needed more than meds, kwim? We didn't have the money to pay for someone off base plus he needs to tread lightly to make sure he doesn't lose his clearance which his career depends on.

A few times he tried to go off the meds and he would be the biggest jerk ever. It was horrible and it's the only times in our 6 yrs of marriage that I ever considered leaving. He was just so impossible to live with.

Ok so now he's out of the military and we've moved. He was about to run out of his meds and I've been pushing him to really find someone he can talk to. To be honest I'm about 99% certain he has depression and has for several years now. He's almost text book for male depression and my intuition with him has always been correct.

Both him and I want him to feel better and not be dependent on meds. I think he really just needs to talk some issues out, not be medicated the rest of his life.

So anyways he looked up the network providers and just randomly picked one not knowing how else to do it. He went today for the first time and it was strange. He was only there for like 30 mins. There's a psychiatrist there who writes out prescriptions and then there are the therapists you talk to. So he saw the psychiatrist and she gave him a new prescription for another 30 days. Then she told him if he wanted to see a therapist he'd have to call them tomorrow and set up an appt, otherwise she'd see him next month.

WTH? How do we find someone who can REALLY help him. He said it feels like since he's not suicidal, not abusive, and doesn't do drugs or alcohol that they just blow him off.

He's just about to give up on the whole thing. He said he's willing to try one more place. He's getting really discouraged.

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#2 of 5 Old 02-26-2009, 12:13 AM
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I'm not totally sure myself. I think that sometimes a counselor or therapist is helpful, since ime psychatrists tend to throw meds at a problem, since that seems to be the primary tool many of them have to help patients. Meds can do wonders, but I too, want a solution that doesn't leave me doped up my whole life. I don't know the answer, but I hope you help him get the kind of help he needs *hugs*

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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#3 of 5 Old 02-28-2009, 03:22 AM
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Try for their provider search.

Each provider has a picture, biography, and method. You can read through each person's profile and pick one who sounds like a good match for what you want from a therapist.

Personally, I would stick to the Psy.D.s or Ph.D.s (Psychologists) but that's just me.

Good luck!
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#4 of 5 Old 02-28-2009, 03:34 AM
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With all due respect, what happened in the second clinic sounds pretty routine. Psychiatrists and therapists are very different professions - from a psychiatrist you can get a diagnosis, medication, and check-ups. If your DH is looking for some one to meet with weekly and receive counselling/therapy, then he'll need to make an appointment with someone who provides that at that practice.

Finding a therapist can be really tough, has your DH put any thought into the modality that might work best for him? That can help to narrow down the field somewhat.

Mum to Quinn, Aug 14th 2010
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#5 of 5 Old 03-03-2009, 10:06 AM
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Talk therapy, over time, is better than just plain meds and this has been known a long time. While meds can help at the beginning to get one over the hump, in the long run it doesn't "cure" unless a person had a real organic problem. Even then it isn't a cure. In some clinics, the pdoc oversees the non-doc therapists, and it is only the pdoc who can prescribe meds, which came to mind as I read in your hubby's experience. (How well a clinic operates depends on how well it is organized.) *Jade* is on target about having DH think about modality. When one is feeling like "crap" it is hard to think about what to do next, but go back for the therapy. Ya hafta do the work. Make several appointments at once (a month's worth and for twice a week, if necessary) so the waiting isn't long. Good luck.

"There is a special place in Hell for women who do not help other women." ~ Madeleine Albright, first woman U. S. Secretary of State.
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