Okay. I feel like I've tried everything.
I am on adrenal support, omega 3 and nicinamide under the care of a naturopath. I take Rescue Remedy.
I have a dog I love and walk several times a day.
I have a good counsellor.
I have been too ill this summer to participate even in the anxious mamas support thread.
I work full-time and take care of my daughter. I am involved in my community and have lots of friends and family supports. I am happy but constantly freaked out. I hide it very well.
I am sitting here typing, convinced my in-laws will call any minute to tell me my daughter is sick. There was no indication at all of this when they picked her up yesterday, except she wasn't eating much (typical for her). It doesn't matter.
I panicked and went to the doctor for a bleeding mole yesterday, convinced it was stage IV melanoma and I would die. I missed almost the whole day of work. He said benign, is sending me to dermatologist anyway.
I cannot be comforted. I cannot calm down.
So I cry uncle. Will this medication help? I am on such a low dose the pharmacist had to order it in-10 mg, I think.
Can I still do all my homeopathic things?
The thing with me is, when the anxiety is bad I shut down. I stop eating and practicing all the anti-anxiety things I've painstakingly built up in my repertoire. They only help the baseline, not when there's a "blip."
Why isn't self-help working?
I just want someone to wrap me tight in a bear hug and tell me it's going to be okay. I cannot cry but I want to so badly. I am NOT suicidal. I passionately want to live and I am so very grateful for my life.
Is there hope?