Childhood Depression Question... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 11-04-2009, 02:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm especially looking for the opinions of those of you who experienced depression as children. Specifically, what do you think helped you/would have helped you the most? I wonder about my sweet 7yo ds sometimes. I was depressed as a child, but I know that what I think may have been helpful for me may not be for him. So, if you could share your thoughts I would really appreciate it! Thanks!
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#2 of 10 Old 11-04-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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For me, finding good books and escaping in to them was possibly the best thing that happened to me. I was an introverted child that then had a major switch in jr high when puberty and my BP really kicked in. I wish I'd had better resources for that, but when I was dealing with straight depression being able to lose myself in whatever I was reading made everything so much better.

Also, finding someone that he can trust to talk to, outside of your house, may be a really good thing. Has to be something that he wants to do, and someone that he really likes. It can take a WHILE to find someone like that, but for me it was home-life changing when I finally did.

Proud mama to DD#1 (11) DS (4) and DD#2 ( 2 )
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#3 of 10 Old 11-04-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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I also was a big reader. While it helped, sometimes I think it left me unprepared for the rest of life. I still don't like/deal well with people.

As for when I was a child, the biggest thing I needed and didn't get was just support for whatever mood I was in. For various reasons, we were expected to "smile and nod" at people in public - gotta keep up appearances, ya know - and that killed me. I couldn't do it, and then my mom would get upset with me. There were days when I really just wanted to be left alone, and that probably would've helped me to work through it.

It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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#4 of 10 Old 11-04-2009, 03:04 PM
 
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Why don't you ask him?

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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#5 of 10 Old 11-04-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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Exercise. I became an avid runner. Also, an aunt with a good ear helped give me perspective.
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#6 of 10 Old 11-05-2009, 02:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all of your replies. I really appreciate your perspectives. When I was depressed as a child, I desperately wanted someone to talk to, but I insisted that I wanted to be left alone. Then I would sit in my room and cry and wish that my mom would come and listen to all my troubles. So, I haven't asked him, since I wasn't sure that would help. I'm not even sure that he is depressed, but sometimes I feel like I'm seeing similarities between him and myself as a child.

When he gets down, he usually lashes out at me, but then eventually tells me what it is that's bothering him. I don't want him to suffer without help like I did, so I want to help as much as I can.

Thanks very much.
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#7 of 10 Old 11-05-2009, 04:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yogachick79 View Post
Also, finding someone that he can trust to talk to, outside of your house, may be a really good thing. Has to be something that he wants to do, and someone that he really likes.
Yes to this. For me it was my grandma. I felt like she would always listen, no matter what, and she would not judge me. I was also able to stay over at her house often and that really helped.

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Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades View Post
I also was a big reader. While it helped, sometimes I think it left me unprepared for the rest of life. I still don't like/deal well with people.

As for when I was a child, the biggest thing I needed and didn't get was just support for whatever mood I was in. For various reasons, we were expected to "smile and nod" at people in public - gotta keep up appearances, ya know - and that killed me. I couldn't do it, and then my mom would get upset with me. There were days when I really just wanted to be left alone, and that probably would've helped me to work through it.
Major THIS. Reading was my escape, but I often think that it may have messed me up a little too. The world now just seems so mundane after escaping into fantasy/sci-fi for so long.

I really hated my family's hypocrisy. The playing of the Perfect Family role. The dysfunction that went on in our house and how no one seemed to notice except me. Bleh.

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When I was depressed as a child, I desperately wanted someone to talk to, but I insisted that I wanted to be left alone. Then I would sit in my room and cry and wish that my mom would come and listen to all my troubles.
I still do this, to this day. Except I'm waiting for my husband usually.

Man depression sucks. I sure hope my DS doesn't have to deal with it

Kris - married to Nate since 12/06, mom to Toby since 1/08. Also servant to two felines. Done having babies for medical reasons.

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#8 of 10 Old 11-08-2009, 02:29 AM
 
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Yes it's very important to honor his feelings first over what's convenient. I think that was the hardest thing for me, being expected to 'just act like a lady'. For me art was really helpful. And I had a penpal starting at 9yo. We are still really close (I'm 36) She knows me and my secrets like no other. I still have a bunch of her letters. My grandpa loved me unconditionally. He was always there with a hug and a lap, even when I was a teenager and all gothed out. I got a lot of crap about that from everyone else. What else...one on one 'dates' with Grandma. (I was raised by them)
If only MDC was there for us, but at least it's here for our kids!

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#9 of 10 Old 11-16-2009, 06:27 PM
 
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Swim team. It was a haven.

Any regular program of exercise will help alleviate depression and anxiety, though.
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#10 of 10 Old 11-24-2009, 02:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by boysmom2 View Post
When I was depressed as a child, I desperately wanted someone to talk to, but I insisted that I wanted to be left alone. Then I would sit in my room and cry and wish that my mom would come and listen to all my troubles.
This is what i wanted. My mom was a very stressed, single mother when i was growing up, hardly there, living with her own problems. I often just wanted her to listen to me, but the few times i tried to clue her in to something more serious going on, she just dismissed it because I think she just couldn't bear one more thing to deal with.

I often pushed people away but i was desperate to just talk to someone, but i didn't have anyone who i felt wouldn't judge me.

When i got older, track team helped me. Being somewhere with other people where i wasn't necessarily forced to talk to others (i'm an introvert) was wonderful.

Books were my escape also, and still continue to be (when i have time) but sometimes i think the reading makes it worse. It depends on what type of mood/depression i'm in.

I think if i had gotten help back then, maybe things would be easier to deal with now, so I think its great you are worried about your son.

E Veg*n Mom to ds 6 : dd 3
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