Little things that help when the going gets rough... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 12-29-2009, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
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I am feeling absolutely horrible right now. Crazy, infested by this depression, weary, hopeless, and just SICK of it all.

But then I was thinking about the little things that have helped get me through or comforted me in some small way in the past, and that it might be nice for us to have a thread where we share these things.

I won't put all of mine, but I'll start with a few.

This quote: "Sorrow comes in great waves...but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us, it leaves us. And we know that if it is strong, we are stronger, inasmuch as it passes and we remain." ~ Henry James

Performing (sometimes random) acts of kindness for others. Once, I bought flowers for my mom and aunt and delivered them anonymously to their doorstep. Things like that.

Scheduling social events, even if they don't happen right away. It helps me to feel connected to the outside world, when I tend to feel very, very isolated during my depressions.

What helps you?
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#2 of 7 Old 01-02-2010, 11:17 AM
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I just watched a National Geographic special with my DP about stress and its ill health effects, and within that they discussed how chemically, biologically, and certainly emotionally it is HEALTHY for us to do compassionate caring acts for others. It makes us feel better AND it benefits our overall health. Isn't that the coolest thing??

...and it comes back to us of course. I watch my partner struggle with this, and it is our small outings or random things that make him suddenly laugh that lifts it. Small and steady... Good for you, I hope you are feeling better soon
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#3 of 7 Old 01-04-2010, 04:54 AM
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I've been thinking about a list like this, too - thanks OP!


Cup o' tea. Big one. Drinking it at the perfect temperature.

Writing down/thinking about 3 things I am grateful for (AKA counting your blessings) we've also been doing this as a family dinner ritual.

Finding positive news would help - not sure where to find it! Watching the news is so depressing right now. So, er, not watching the news?

A good find at the thrift store.

listening to music I love.

A hug and "I love you" from my little ones. or DH.


Exercise - even just a quick tour around the block. and the sun and fresh air are good, too.

Talking to a friend. We have free long distance. Just need a few minutes.

A quick spritz of my favorite perfume.

Some kind of social get-together.
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#4 of 7 Old 01-05-2010, 03:03 PM
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My 15-yr-old son is the one who suffers from depression. Some of the things that he has found helpful:

Humor therapy - we have a pile of videos he enjoys (That 70's Show, Red Green).


lifting weights

Puppy therapy - snuggling with our dog almost always perks him up

talking - often just venting about things that are upsetting - and realizing that it's the emotional part of his brain that is upset, not the logical part - gives the upsetting things less control.

Food - my son gets really cranky when he hasn't eaten for a while. He ended up gaining weight when he turned to ice cream more than twice a day, so now he's concetrating on healthier snacks. Regular meals and snacks are very important for him.

If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

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#5 of 7 Old 01-12-2010, 06:49 AM
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babies. I haven't got any of my own yet, but if I'm really depressed, and then I see my boss's babies adorable smile, or hear his laugh echoing in the kitchen, it really cheers me up.

When my DP keeps trying to make me laugh and break me out of it a bit, and he keeps going and going until I realize how absolutely ridiculous my avoidance actions are, no matter how big my fear and depression, which makes me laugh at myself, and then its really hard to be very depressed instead of mildly depressed.

Sending a message to a friend and hearing back from them in some way that makes me feel like they care, or hearing from someone else who cares. It reminds me how many people care about me, which I often forget, and which helps.

sunlight (or even just getting outside when its grey. or even just opening the curtains or turning on the lights helps somewhat though getting outside helps a lot)

the dreaded e word (exercise). I'm happy to do active things I love to do (dance, krav maga, wrestling with DP, hiking, though its hard to get the will to do them sometimes even though I like them), but fear the e word. so I avoid the word. I just took a krav maga class and if I can afford it, actually might start regular exercise for the first time in.... 2 years.

The occasional moment of grace: when all of the sudden, you notice how amazing the world is, how stunning and unique and sacred. once I walked out of work right before christmas, and there were no cars racing by, utter silence at dusk, the only people in sight a mother and daughter in a santa hat walking by, and it seemed like time stopped for a moment.

food. I get so crabby when I don't eat, so eating regularly and yummy healthy food is important, though I'm often forgetting. (at least I got past the sugar and processed food blues long enough that I don't really even crave them and my idea of a snack is healthy)

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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#6 of 7 Old 01-17-2010, 07:26 PM
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I like this thread

Some things that have really helped me:

-cutting myself slack when it comes to meals: I embrace convenience a little more, and don't pressure myself to cook from scratch, which I normally do. I get more frozen things in boxes and (gasp) pre-cut veggies, salads in bags

-I keep my bedroom really tidy and calm. It is my quiet sanctuary.

-bright sunshine- if it's bright (no matter how cold it might be) I get myself out there. If I can't do that I at least make sure as much sun is coming into the house as possible, and I sit wherever in the living room it's at its brightest

-a hot bath with epsom salts- I don't know if it's the effect of magnesium, but these *REALLY* help

-talking. I have a few friends who are there for me (as I am there for them!) no matter what. When I need to reach out, I do, and try not to be self-conscious about it. It's easy to forget that people who love you really DO want to help and will listen. When this hasn't been possible and my anxiety is at its peak, I have actually called crisis lines.

-cup of really *good* coffee. Yes, it's caffeine but it's also a cup of relaxation for me.

-rest- we all know this intellectually but it's harder to put into real practice sometimes. Good sleep and rest is a must-do always, but especially when times are tough. I will take zopiclone or trazodone if I have to.

Happy single mama of Girlchild (10) and Boychild (9).
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#7 of 7 Old 01-19-2010, 01:01 AM
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I tend to hide with my nose in a book or fanfic from favorite shows, I've read an obscene amount of fanfic this week trying to cope. dd's mental health is pushing me into a dark place this week

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