Hi. I really 'get' your pain, sadness and frustration. It sounds like you're doing so many good things, but it's not feeling like enough. Plus, you're trying to create a new life in a new place (in more ways than one!), which is totally exciting, but it's a huge deal and takes a lot of guts, persistence, and imagination. Things in very short supply when you're depressed.
I'm 36, and I've been on and off antidepressants for over 15 years. They can do a lot of good, but as you sort of said, they don't fix you. Nor do they change your essential YOU. There's no shame in them - at all. An antidepressant is just another tool to help in the ongoing struggle of figuring out how to be our best selves. That's how I think of it anyway.
As you can see from my sig, I'm also struggling with fertility, and I've spent a lot of time looking into antidepressants and pregnancy/breastfeeding, as well as miscarriage. I would feel comfortable with a few of the big-name SSRIs (Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro). Unfortunately, Wellbutrin, an SNRI, which has worked decently for my own depression, needs a lot more study before I'd be OK taking it during pregnancy. Interestingly, my OB would be fine prescribing Wellbutrin, but my psychiatrist is very against it. There is so little known about it, and that makes me nervous.
Unfortunately for me, SSRIs on their own don't work well with my body. My natural tendency is toward sleepiness and lethargy, and those particular drugs dramatically heighten those symptoms in me. That is not the case for many people, just me. So, for the time being, I've chosen to not be on any antidepressant, and to be honest, it's frikkin' miserable right now.
I'm babbling. Sorry.
You have some good choices. If I were you, I would really consider starting on a low dose of Zoloft or Prozac. I think they would help lift some of the heaviness and sadness, and I'll bet you'll start feeling more excited about exploring your new home and all its possibilities. Starting on an SSRI is not nothing, but it's not irreversible if you don't like it, and it sounds like you could really use a little extra support right now.