Eating Disorder Recovery Tribe - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Turquesa, thanks for the suggestion. Yes, there are groups in my area but I'm just not ready for a group setting. I've been debating whether or not to go back to my therapist which would be 1 on 1 meetings. But I think there's some embarrassment on my part which is holding me back.

As far as group meetings go I'm kind of "scarred for life" after attending a couple of Weight Watcher's meetings ( a few years back ). I wouldn't call it a bad experience just clearly not for me. I'm really holding onto a lot of shame and self anger for allowing myself to get to this point and I can't express some of this in public.

I think that I can gain some strength from learning, listening and sharing with everyone here...and if not here maybe through OE. Though I do have some reservations w/ OE after reading a post yesterday from a woman who claimed to be 3 months who can't stop eating and was looking for a sponsor so she didn't spend her pregnancy fat.

Please keep me posted if you decide to start a Tribe. Happy Sunday!
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#32 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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Agreed. Sorry--just projecting some past negative online experience onto an otherwise positive thread.
.
No need for the bag. I totally understand. When I was really in deep I found a lot of those "pro ana" sites and message boards and got totally sucked in. They masquerade as "support and help" but it's really just a place for people to justify unhealthy choices. ("If all of these people do it then I'm not THAT bad" kind of thought)

The reason I said about ANYTHING is I don't want it to get even slightly muddled. So, I'd recommend, that even if someone is asking for tips on how to deal with urges or something that you take it to PM...just to be safe.

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#33 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 02:06 PM
 
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I think moms who impose their baggage on their children do hold some responsibility for their kids self destructive behaviors. I don't completely blame my mom but I do feel that "maybe" she could have tried to make more of an effort
That's similar to my situation...the perfectionism that my mom encouraged. The "You got a 95% on that test? Well, why didn't you get 100%?" that is hanging over my head alllll the time and applied to every single situation, relationship, decision, etc etc...

I haven't told my mom about SI issues...that would be too much for her to handle. Meaning I'd be interrogated about it at every waking moment.

Has anyone here also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder?

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#34 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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Has anyone here also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder?
I was...BUT my parents had forced me into therapy and then tried to control it (basically, THEY wanted to decide what I covered each session) When I didn't "get better" fast enough for them (read: 4 or 5 sessions) they decided I was not committed and had me pulled...but wanted a dx first. (Yeah, and you can see why I have issues) She pulled it out of her @$$ basically.

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#35 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 08:12 PM
 
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It seems most of you here are fairly young (compared to me). My ED started exhibiting itself when I was in high school, but it didn't become full blown until I was out of my parents' care (away at grad school in another state). Obviously my mom and dad have no say in what and how I am right now...I'm in my 40s...and haven't been subject to their direction for a long time. Funny, though, they still manage to interject themselves and their opinions in my life after all this time. We see them maybe once a year (they are a lot more interested in us now that we have DD) but they started to communicate with my DH about their various opinions about me. I quickly told them they should talk to me first. I said "I'm a big kid, now, you can talk to me." My dad is more of the perfectionist type than my mom and I still remember that I wasn't allowed to "relax" because one must be "working" at all times. Any form of relaxation was considered laziness by him. Maybe it was a new immigrant thing (first generation) that was rubbing off on him. Maybe he thought that once one stopped, only starvation and anguish followed (no pun intended).

I appreciate everyone's honesty here. I go through periods (like today) when I don't give a flying eff about much. Being a mom now and a WOHM at that, I don't have a lot of time to think about therapy and recovery and all that. Shite, I haven't been to the doctor or dentist and years and maybe it is part avoidance but it helps to know that there are people out there struggling with the same issues. Hope you don't mind if I lurk. Don't have much to offer right now but there are good days.

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#36 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 09:49 PM
 
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Yea! We're a tribe now!

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#37 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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Has anyone here also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder?
Not BPD, but DEFINITELY OCD! The anxiety really gnaws at me. I know that there's almost always an underlying diagnosis with ED. Borderline may be one of them, but more common ones include OCD , depression, and ADHD. And we all have an unhealthy streak of perfectionism. "If I could just X (weigh a magic number, live in a perfect house, etc.) everything will be perfect."

“It is simply no longer possible to believe much of the clinical research that is published, or to rely on the judgment of trusted physicians or authoritative medical guidelines.” - Marcia Angell, M.D., former NEJM Editor Private Parts are Private Property!
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#38 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 09:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't see it
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#39 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 10:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I think we're officially a Tribe...I think. I'm kind of a ding-bat so if someone could check it out for me I would appreicate it.

It's under " Eating Disorder Recovery Tribe ". Also, I will dress up the "intro" by tomorrow. See you there!
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#40 of 43 Old 07-11-2010, 10:58 PM
 
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Yay we're a tribe!

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at one point, though I don't put a lot of stock in that diagnosis due to how it came about... I also have a lot of OCD & ADHD traits & was medicated for both though don't consider myself to have the full-blown disorders. I had multiple severe depression episodes with self-injury/suicidal... and I also have always had a pretty major general anxiety disorder with panic attacks etc. So I definitely agree that there are often underlying diagnoses along with ED's!! I feel like a walking, talking diagnostic manual (and at one point I was a human psychiatric pharmacy too )

ETA: Guess I should've posted this in the Tribe thread, I think I got confused, I'm tired........

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#41 of 43 Old 07-12-2010, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I made my intro this morning ( on the Tribe ) and I must say that I do feel a little better. I know I have a long road ahead of me but it just feels good to share some of my thoughts. I've also been thinking about starting a journal. I kept one during my first marriage but my ex-husband would go through my stuff and found it and I felt very violated. It was my only safe place and he tried to use some of my writings against me. It was very painful.

Yesterday was very tough. I don't have a support network and my house was filled with all sorts of bingeing foods. I've been yo-yo dieting for so many years that I'm embarrassed to tell my husband that I'm trying to avoid some of my food triggers. You know, if I relapse then once again I've failed to control my urges.

Anyway, today is a new day and a beautiful one at that!
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#42 of 43 Old 07-16-2010, 09:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I may be having a stupid moment but I can't fine the Tribe
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#43 of 43 Old 07-16-2010, 09:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Found it! We're in Personal Growth
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