Is this a good place to start a chat or is Post Partum Depression a better place? I am not exactly PP. DS is 4 but I think I had antepartum depression, then postpartum but just never delt with it. So....here I am.
About me...I am a single mama, work a couple part time jobs while just starting out persuing a career I am really passionate about. I have a crap load on my plate and am hoping that once the meds kick in I will start having an easier time tackling life. I love my son to pieces but I get so anxious and don't think I am dealing with the stress well.
X posted with PP
I too deal with depression and anxiety with respect to parenting, and have been dealing with d&a for years since I was a kid. I'm on meds too but they need tweaking on occassion. When they work I feel like I can handle my stresses.
Me + Dh = Dd1(9.5 yrs) + Dd2(7 yrs) and Ds(4.5 yrs)
I haven't seen my councilor yet. The clinic I go to is really booked which is a bummer because I think I will benefit more once that part gets going. I am hoping to get an appointment next week.
Triggors....definately when I am starting something at home like dinner or clean up and my ds keeps asking me the same things over and over. I know it is totally normal for a 4 year old, I just get super stressed out over it. I think part of it is that I don't get a break from caring for other's often. I am a nanny and my other job is high energy and nurturing. My mom is taking ds for a night this weekend so hopefully I can get in some relaxation.
Surfacing: I too have struggled with a & d since childhood. I always thought it would get better, but hasn't really. I do worry less than when I was a child, when I start to worry a lot of times I shut down and leave the house a mess, miss work and just look at my life like, 'wtf'. Thanks for chiming in When meds have you tried, if you don't mind sharing?
Wow, yeah being a nanny requires a lot of energy and dedication, esp. since you are engaging with the child(ren). It's great that your mom can take ds for a night on the weekend. You *need* a break!
I hear you on getting stressed while you're trying to get something done and your ds is constantly vying for your attention. I really hear you. It's hard to know where the line is - how much do you ask your child to wait? how much do you continue on your task? when do you interrupt your task? etc.
I too get my buttons pushed and find myself struggling with frustrations over trying to get something(s) done and juggling that with being present for the children. There have been a couple of books that have been helpful, and counselling has been somewhat helpful. But when the meds aren't working then I can't apply the things I've learned well enough because my mood is so overwhelming.
What meds have I tried? When I was 17 - Luvox. Not a good fit for me, but it's my MIL's favourite. In my 20s Effexor - not great for me, but commonly used and good for some. Up to that point the side effects were always so unbearable that I was not able to take more than one pill of either med. !!!! I had really bad depression and anxiety after dd1 was born (traumatic birth, childhood traumas resurfacing, rage issues, it was horrible) and it went up and down. When things were better I got PG with dd2 and felt depressed again. That was when I went for meds - I was desperate and willing to try anything. My whole life I had tried to manage my mood with lots of exercise, supplements/vitamins, good food, journalling, talking with friends, counselling, trying to get enough sleep, cognitive behavioural retraining skills, etc. But once dd1 was born, that was NOT ENOUGH anymore. Looking back it was somewhat helpful some of the time (before kids)... but not a cure-all.
I found a psychiatrist who was willing to start me on a super duper low dose of Prozac and slowly incrementally increase the dose so the side effects were manageable, and I was able to function in my life (keep going to work and take care of my children). In the end we added Wellbutrin too, as I find the Prozac is really good for anxiety and helps relax me, but the Wellbutrin energizes me and helps with the depression part.
Lately I feel like my meds are not working as well as they used to so I will see my pdoc on Tuesday... and we'll talk...she'll probably up my meds again.
Anyway, I hope you get a session with your counsellor soon. Do you know anyone in real life who has been on meds?
Me + Dh = Dd1(9.5 yrs) + Dd2(7 yrs) and Ds(4.5 yrs)
I had a day away from my son over the weekend and that helped A LOT. It gave me a chance to relax a bit.
Surfacing, it sounds like you have been through a lot of different meds, seems difficult to find the right one. Thats gotta be frustrating. Its nice to talk to a mama who understands....
sounds like you do have a lot on your plate right now & it's really good that you are making time for meditation and counseling - hopefully those will be helpful for you.
the other thing that is so hard but always makes me feel great is exercise.
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I take two anti-depressants for anxiety. Celexa and Remeron. Together they work very well. I started school this fall and my anxiety was over the bloody top! I was constantly stressed and overwhelmed. I was having major anxiety attacks at least every other day and sometimes worse. It was utterly crippiling. I also have a script for valium but I blew through three months worth in one month. It was terrible. I was on the Celexa but my pdoc added the Remeron and afer a month I didn't need to take valium anymore and I haven't had a panic attack in a month or so. I would say it's a miracle. I have never felt this mentally healthy in my entire life. AND that's saying a lot! HA!
I took Buspar for a hot mintue a few years ago. Is that for anxiety?
Also, I find deep breathing very helpful when I start to get into a panic. I also keep this thought on repeat inside my noggin, "It is not the end of the world. Relax. You're going to be fine."
Best wishes, Mamas!
There are three things I learned about life. It goes on. -Longfellow
RIP DH DJ Delicious but mucho gracias for our children and all I have learned
I take an SSRI for depression/PMDD and benzo's for sleep and PRN when my PTSD is really triggered. I'm also an insomniac. The meds for sleep and depression are daily, but the PRN is not nearly that frequent. But I am thankful for these even though I am not a pharmaceutical person by nature. I don't have much time to respond right now but I'll come back later. I think there can be a time and place for pharmaceuticals provided the person is not relying solely on them for their health. In conjunction with my meds, I am also in weekly counseling so in group and individual so that I have a place to discuss what I need in an environment where I am only me, and not trying to balance "me" with "me the single mom".