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#1 of 7 Old 01-20-2011, 08:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been struggling for a long time, but have recently started spiraling down. I've decided to try to find help in the form of a psychiatrist or psychologist. I've started several times, but found that finding someone who takes my insurance, setting up an appointment, etc... is so overwhelming. It literally takes everything I have to get up in the morning and watch my kids. Adding this on top of it just seems insurmountable.

I know I need to change, but how do you change when just living takes everything you have? I've been such a bad parent lately. I"m not losing my temper, because that would take too much effort. I let them watch so much TV, it's not funny. I sit on the couch and let them play around me. Changing diapers takes a major gearing up and forcing myself to get off the couch and do it. It's not fair to my kids. They deserve so much better. They are such loving, sweet souls, who give hugs and kisses freely and really love me, despite my inability to be a good mother to them.


How do you keep parenting during depression? I could use any ideas.

Welcoming our twins :: born February 21, 2009 at 33 weeks! :
C-section due to pre-eclampsia and HELLP:
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#2 of 7 Old 01-20-2011, 09:54 AM
 
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I'm so sorry skyblue, I so know where you're coming from. You're doing your best now, and you're not a bad mother. But you DO need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get some help. Is there someone who can help you get the therapy you need (someone who makes sure you get to your appointments, and can help you get meds? )

 

If it were me, since I only respond to herbs, I'd bypass all that work, and I'd order some extracts/tinctures through herbpharm (because they are excellent quality, imo) (you can get them off of amazon too, free shipping sometimes)  - say, maybe St. John's Wort, and Siberian Ginseng. If St John's doesn't work there are others you can try. Siberian Ginseng would help your adrenals and give you some energy.

 

Nutritionally, stay off sugar and coffee, eat warm nutritious foods.

 

And once you get some energy, start doing more and more each day. Start going for walks, get some sunshine. Take fish oil too.

 

Sound good? Have you tried St john's wort before? It worked wonders for me. I once felt exactly like you do now.

 

big hugs to you.  You do NOT have to keep suffering like this.  Your job is to get the help you need. Period. Whatever that is. I promise you there is relief out there.

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#3 of 7 Old 01-20-2011, 09:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by desertrose View Post

I'm so sorry skyblue, I so know where you're coming from. You're doing your best now, and you're not a bad mother. But you DO need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get some help. Is there someone who can help you get the therapy you need (someone who makes sure you get to your appointments, and can help you get meds? )

 

If it were me, since I only respond to herbs, I'd bypass all that work, and I'd order some extracts/tinctures through herbpharm (because they are excellent quality, imo) (you can get them off of amazon too, free shipping sometimes)  - say, maybe St. John's Wort, and Siberian Ginseng. If St John's doesn't work there are others you can try. Siberian Ginseng would help your adrenals and give you some energy.

 

Nutritionally, stay off sugar and coffee, eat warm nutritious foods.

 

And once you get some energy, start doing more and more each day. Start going for walks, get some sunshine. Take fish oil too.

 

Sound good? Have you tried St john's wort before? It worked wonders for me. I once felt exactly like you do now.

 

big hugs to you.  You do NOT have to keep suffering like this.  Your job is to get the help you need. Period. Whatever that is. I promise you there is relief out there.


First... big hugs.

 

Agreed.

 

I understand pain very well.  I second the out door time, herbs and especially good foods.  Change of scenery is so damn important.  Just breathe.  I tend to get more overwhelmed while in therapy... been there... done that.... sorry for the pun however, it is true.

 

It can and will get better, give yourself a break.  Take a walk on your own if possible... somewhere you will not run into others so that you can focus on what is around you... trees breathing, birds chirping, water moving or whatever atmosphere calms you. 


'09   
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#4 of 7 Old 01-29-2011, 06:52 AM
 
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What have you done so far to look for help? I ask because for me just the thought of looking for help was overwhelming. Turns out once I actually go started it was pretty easy to set up. I used this link:

 

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

 

You search under your city and you can peruse the listings. They should all list what insurance they take, what they treat, and what their philosophies are. It took me less than an hour to decide who I thought might be geared to what I need. She was full and gave me a recommendation who turned out to be another person who looked good to me on the website. Within a week I had an appointment. I called the 800 number on my insurance card to verify the coverage prior to the meeting.  

 

I really wanted to let you know that it wasn't as overwhelming as I anticipated. After only one session I feel so hopeful about working through my problems.

 

Good luck to you.

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#5 of 7 Old 01-29-2011, 03:49 PM
 
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I completely understand, sometimes its just all to much. Definitely been there. First, you said you want to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. They each do different things. You might be able to narrow donw your choices right there.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. Psychiatrists rarely do therapy these days, I've never met one who does. What they do mostly is prescribe meds. You go in for a short appt, about 15minutes every few weks, or even months, and they discuss medication and may change it or work on the dose.

A psychologist has a Ph.D. They can not prescribe meds in most states. They do therapy. With a psychologist, you generally have an hour long appt (or a "therapy hour- about 50minutes). Some people go every other week, but once a week is not unusual, and some people go even more frequently depending on the therapist and your needs. There are many different "types" of therapy, but the gist is that you sit and talk about your problems, and try to come up with solutions or work through your feelings. Don't worry so much about what type of therapy a therapist practices, research generally shows that the biggest factor in recovery is not therapy type, but that you have a good relationship with the therapist- you feel they are warm, caring, and empathetic.

In many areas BOTH psychiatrists AND psychologists can give a diagnosis, if you want one.

There are also assorted other professionals who do talk therapy- MFTs (marriage and family therapists) , MSWs (masters of social workers), LPCs (licensed professional counselors) etc. Most of these do not have a doctorate, but more usually a masters. They also may have more restrictions on their scope of practice- ie, they may not be able to diagnose, or do certain kinds of psychological testing.

In any case, the first question is, do you want meds, or therapy, or both? That should help narrow down the field some for you. I think many people start with counseling, and then if they feel they need meds later, their counselor often has recommendations for psychiatrists in the area.

Would it help to take very small steps? When I get really depressed, I find its sometimes easier to break a task down into tiny parts. Maybe you could start by deciding what sort of practitioner you want. Then perhaps, make it a goal to look in the phone book one day. Or run a quick internet search. Thats it no calling, just looking at names. Then make it your goal to call you insurance and find out your coverage, and if they have restrictions on who you can see (some may have in-network providers, others may cover psychologists, but not MSWs, etc) Then maybe it make it your goal to call just one practitioner, one a day, one a week, whatever you can manage.

Thats what helps me. Sometimes it takes me a week or more to do the smallest step. But at least it gets done, and then I've started the process and can move on to the next step- which might also take awhile, but any forward motion is good. :)I try not to get down on myself, if I didnt accomplish it this week, well there's always next week. If I skip a day in my one-a-day call goal, hey, its just a day, I can try again tomorrow. Having little goals makes the process seem less daunting overall, and those I actually do something on it, instead of being paralyzed and doing nothing at all.

Its also worth saying, some really great therapists do not have a huge internet presence. I found my own therapist through word of mouth, he doesn't have a website or any big listing. I know a few other great therapists in my town who are the same. If you have a good relationship with your doctor, or know folks who have been in therapy and you feel comfortable talking to them, they might be good resources to ask to help you find local names as well.
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#6 of 7 Old 01-30-2011, 05:02 AM
 
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I had been putting off seeing a therapist for a long time since it seemed like a big ordeal, but it was actually quite easy once it was all done.  I just opened the phone book amd call the person closest to me as I didn't want to drive 45 minutes to see someone.  I had no idea tht medicaid pays for therapists.  It is so worth it. 

 

I used to feel bad about al the TV my kids watch but I don't feel bad as much.  I think it was amilly this site that you ge the pressure that to much TV is bad for our kids but it is better than you falling apart.  Let them watch what they want and spend that time to read or take a bath.    Its OK!

 

I understand about the diapers and we don't do clolth anymore becsause of it.  I don't wait to change a poo diaper, but a pee can get super full befor eI change it, as I just don't have the energy to change it more often.

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#7 of 7 Old 02-07-2011, 10:57 AM
 
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Oubliette, great post. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by skybluepink02 View Post

I've been struggling for a long time, but have recently started spiraling down. I've decided to try to find help in the form of a psychiatrist or psychologist. I've started several times, but found that finding someone who takes my insurance, setting up an appointment, etc... is so overwhelming. It literally takes everything I have to get up in the morning and watch my kids. Adding this on top of it just seems insurmountable.


Step one, find someone who takes your insurance.  What have you done so far?  My experience is that the insurance company made it fairly simple and straight forward, simply because I had to pick from their list of providers.  Example: Blue Cross's web site sent me to their subcontractor for mental health services, ABC Insurance (making up that name). I went to ABC Ins web site and did a search on all the psychiatrists within 25 miles of me.

 

Pick some names from the list.  Check web sites. Check their address on Google maps if you want to. :-)  Call a few.  Call ONE person, if that's all you want to do.  Ask if they're accepting new patients.  I know the first time I called to talk to a therapist it felt really, really weird to describe to this complete stranger WHY I was calling! Lol! It's hard to say, uh...well, I'm really unhappy. Things have been spiraling down. I don't want to be depressed anymore. 

 

What helped me was a careful diagnosis and medication (after much trial and error) from a really good psychiatrist (the medical doctor), and some really good talk therapy from a psychologist.  Actually the psychologist got the diagnosis ball rolling and the psychiatrist fine-tuned the diagnosis. 


Someone moved my effing cheese.
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