Thoughts on Dealing with Extreme Stress - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 04-18-2012, 09:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really think I need to set up some sort of strategy for dealing with extreme stress.  I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now, even worse I hear these issues may not be resolved for years.  All this, on top of taking care of a house filled with kids and DH's busy work schedule/issues.

 

I don't seem to be able to compartmentalize the stressful situation and put it completely out of my mind.  I'm finding it very debilitating to living my daily life.  I'm realizing that I can't really function like this long term and it is also likely affecting my health (definitely affecting sleep patterns, etc.).  

 

I don't know where to start in dealing with everything.  It's more like coping because it's not a situation that's over and done, it's something that may take years to sort out.  I really have no peace of mind at all.  And, that's very disconcerting to me.  I usually have that, this situation has sort of derailed me and left daily life tasks very difficult for me to focus on.

 

I know some people would suggest some type of stress release.  I'm so far gone these days from who I really am I'm not even sure what would de-stress me.


Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#2 of 9 Old 04-18-2012, 10:03 AM
 
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Oh hugs to you. I am dealing with some serious stress, too. I homeschool my two kids, one of which has special needs. Managing his needs are extremely stressful. Some days I feel like there are bullets whizzing past my head.  Recently I was diagnosed with a cystocele and uterine prolapse. I know my stress levels contributed to it. Not feeling well has of course increased my stress.

 

For me, my big stress reliever is knitting. Any kind of working with my hands is good. But knitting especially because it forces me to sit down and focus my attention. If not crafts, do you have anything that you enjoy that is purely your own? How about some light escapist reading?

 

Other ideas: meditation/prayer, deep breathing, yoga, exercise (even if it's only a walk). You said that you're so far gone from who you are. What used to give you joy? Is there anything that interests you? When I went through a very stressful time in my life in the past, I taught myself how to cook. I love the meditative state of veggie chopping and tending to nourishing foods.

 

Have you tried any herbal teas? Nettles and oatstraw might be worth trying. Nettles are good for an overtaxed adrenal system and oatstraw is good as an overall nerve tonic.

 

Above all: get help if you can. Can you get a few hours out of the house by yourself? Take a hike in nature or sit in a park and read. See a doctor if you need to. Either an MD, for temporary pharmaceuticals, or a traditional chinese doctor who can work on your chi and prescribe herbs.

 

Above all, remember that this too shall pass. When we are in a difficult time, it sometimes seems as though it will last forever. Rarely does it.

 

Wishing you peace and healing.
 

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#3 of 9 Old 04-30-2012, 06:47 AM
 
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Seems like talking about the particular thing you are stressed about might help along with some of the suggestions the above poster gave.  I too am going through stress and what I have found the most helpful so far is proper sleep, a short hike everyday, and eating well.  Pretty basic but very helpful.  I'm also trying to attack my problem head on. Make changes, switch parts of my life around that trigger the stress etc....   Good luck to you. 

 

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#4 of 9 Old 05-04-2012, 06:31 AM
 
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I just went through a several years long stressful period and wow, the fallout was massive! Here is how I survived it: Strip everything down to a bare minimum and give yourself a running chance to survive intact. What really matters and needs (I mean this in every sense of the world) to be done gets done. The remaining tasks will just have to go on the wayside. Take time for yourself. Showers are the best times to cry. Hot water down your back, sob away, away.... until you cant anymore. I was never a good crier but I appreciated the release that came after a good session. Eat well. Take walks if you can. Do you have an ipod? Listen to some comedy shows. It will take your mind off and make you laugh. Watch for depression. Be kind to yourself, your kids. Surround yourself with people that can support you.

 

Lots of hugs to you Mama. I am sorry you are going through a tough time.  

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#5 of 9 Old 05-08-2012, 08:25 AM
 
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I am right there with you OP.  Going through a very stressful time too.  It is amazing what a strong effect it has on our lives.

I hope things start to get a bit easier for you.  Try not to be too hard on yourself.  
 

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#6 of 9 Old 05-08-2012, 09:11 AM
 
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Some of the things that have been most helpful to me, in the past few extremely stressful years:

 

 

At one point, I'd get the kids ready, come home to tidy & make breakfast, then put on tv for the kid who was at home, sit at the computer listen to sad music and write stuff about everything (for myself, sometimes for dh).  And cry.  Then I'd stop, pick up other kid, and be able to go on.  I did this a few months.  Eventually I put together some more hopeful music to listen to.  I'd bring the music with me in the car (either the sad or more hopeful stuff).  Eventually I'd gotten enough out that I didn't need to cry everyday anymore.  

 

 

 

I picked one house spot that was important to me and just focused on keeping it clean and focused less on everything else (the bathroom mainly so I could take baths that were more relaxing whenever I had a chance).  I didn't do as much with the whole rest of the house other than what really 'had to' get done.  Simplified food (lots of eggs, boxed mac & cheese for meals, for example, dumping toys in boxes to pick up and vacuuming instead of trying to organize anything).  Sometimes these are good times to declutter - especially clothes or dishes, which will make household tasks simpler for you too.

 

 

 

Small new goal - preferably something that isn't messy, or something that you can accomplish is a great distraction.  Picking up a book, fiction, that you can disappear into, rearranging a room (that can get messy, though), mastering or experimenting with a particular recipe.  I painted a room (but that kinda spurred other things into chaos, that I'm still trying to deal with - so not exactly the best choice).  Funny or favorite movie breaks are another good distraction too - engrossing but less demanding and easier to fit in than a book, sometimes.

 

 

Hope you find something that works.  hug.gif

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#7 of 9 Old 05-08-2012, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaye View Post

I just went through a several years long stressful period and wow, the fallout was massive! Here is how I survived it: Strip everything down to a bare minimum and give yourself a running chance to survive intact. What really matters and needs (I mean this in every sense of the world) to be done gets done. The remaining tasks will just have to go on the wayside. 

...

Lots of hugs to you Mama. I am sorry you are going through a tough time.  

This is what I have done, by necessity.  I've worked to strip out a lot of the crud.  But, several years is daunting to me.  And, that's exactly what it sounds like.  

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by catinthehat View Post

I am right there with you OP.  Going through a very stressful time too.  It is amazing what a strong effect it has on our lives.

I hope things start to get a bit easier for you.  Try not to be too hard on yourself.  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaScout View Post

Oh hugs to you. 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by mumkimum View Post

 

 

Hope you find something that works.  hug.gif

 

 

 

Thanks to everyone for all the encouraging and comforting thoughts.  I figured I'd come back and post.  I've got some crazy news....on top of everything else I just found out about two weeks ago that I'm unexpectedly expecting.  As a result of all the weird stress, my cycle was way off (this is the first time it's been way off I was a teenager I'm usually insanely regular).  Well, when I realized how wacky my cycle was I thought I was annovulatory (and hey, I'm getting closer to 40 so wouldn't get pregnant that easily anyhow right)...well, I guess I was wrong!  

 

I will say, I could have been completely upset about this on top of everything else.  However, in a really wacky way I'm starting to feel that something good might come out of this very stressful unhappy thing that we've been going through.  I thought I was done with my houseful of kids, but I guess not!  

 

So, I'm going to have to get really pro-active and keep things as even keel as I can.  I want to pare things down, keep them as simple as I can.  But I've just been virtually knocked out by the pregnancy early on sickness and exhaustion.  I need to find the energy to do anything.  Sigh.  I probably need to get some family over here, spend some time with my extended family to start feeling better.  Though I don't think the inlaws are going to respond that well to a pregnancy, I think my family will likely be positive about it.


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#8 of 9 Old 05-08-2012, 09:37 PM
 
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Oh wow! Congratulations!  You must still be a little bit in shock. I know I would be :) 

Quote:

Thanks to everyone for all the encouraging and comforting thoughts.  I figured I'd come back and post.  I've got some crazy news....on top of everything else I just found out about two weeks ago that I'm unexpectedly expecting.  As a result of all the weird stress, my cycle was way off (this is the first time it's been way off I was a teenager I'm usually insanely regular).  Well, when I realized how wacky my cycle was I thought I was annovulatory (and hey, I'm getting closer to 40 so wouldn't get pregnant that easily anyhow right)...well, I guess I was wrong!  

 

I will say, I could have been completely upset about this on top of everything else.  However, in a really wacky way I'm starting to feel that something good might come out of this very stressful unhappy thing that we've been going through.  I thought I was done with my houseful of kids, but I guess not!  

 

Keep doing what you are doing and continue to look ahead to the future beyond your current stress. The only way to get there is through. Lots of hugshug2.gif and energy to you mama. 

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#9 of 9 Old 05-15-2012, 12:30 PM
 
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I too had the worst stress ever! I had no idea how to control it.  I think you may have Acute Stress Disorder. acute stress is an anxiety disorder that usually develops after a traumatic event. How long have you had this type of stress?  A lot of time medication can be very helpful

 

Source:

http://www.psyweb.com/Mdisord/AnxietyDis/asd.jsp

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