I have a history of anxiety/depression and irritability. I had a horrible episode of PPD right after my DS was born. I just started seeing a counselor again and slowly accepted to take medicine. I do my best and am aware of my actions but I find myself easily yelling at my DS who is 17 months old right now. I then feel really guilty afterwards and quickly try to calm myself and be overly "gentle." I know when I am really hungry or tired, I am more quick to lose my cool. I stay at home now and sometimes feel resentful for all the time it takes to parent and keep the house clean etc... and then I feel guilty about admitting that! My parents were critical and my dad lost his temper a lot. I'm so scared I'm going to mess my child up and give him a mental disorder!
My question is, how do you keep up with trying to discipline your child gently? sigh
I tell you a little secret: I do not always succeed at gentle discipline. No one does :) Seriously, you are trying. You are aware of your own shortcomings. You are seeking help. This puts you light years ahead of a lot of parents who just do not think about how their behavior affects their children's emotional development. Mama, pat your back and continue the hard work. You are probably doing better than you think. When the going gets tough, remember to walk away for a min or two and return to the situation. That always helps me.